Heitti seinään päärynän

Kuulu poks ja ei yhtään

I just randomly woke up. I fell asleep a little after midnight.

Normally this would frustrate me. But yesterday I wrote something on here and mentioned a song. Only Happy When It Rains. And it doesn’t rain often. Not over here, not anymore…

But it’s raining right now. Gently, but it sounds like big fat plops. And smaller plops at the same time. And somehow like running water. A lazy stream, too.

And I can only hear it in such detail because yesterday, for the first time in many months, I remembered I could open my window and let in fresh air. I was feeling stifled and the air had grown too thick. It had been that way for a while, and I like to punish myself. Maybe that’s why I’m ok with all the Garbage. But even I have my limits.

I’m only happen when it rains / I only smile in the dark / my only comfort is the night gone black

A moment after waking, I had looked at the clock to see what time it was.

4:20 am on January 3, 2026. My birthday. :)

I hope I can fall back asleep. But this is nice for now. I can close my eyes and fall asleep later as I often do—when the sun comes up.

pour some misery down

pour some misery down

pour some misery down on me

I’m only happy when it rains

Earthly Starlight

Follow me from where it’s loud To silent lighthouse on the sound Blinking light between the eyes Signing shelter from the tide

The light is no low flying plane Nor ship that sails the other way Let earthly starlight pull your gaze Guide you safely through the waves

Through howling keen Let light be seen

Follow me from acrid tastes To sweeter shores and safest space Blinking tears that pain demands Clenching fists with empty hands

Thoughts that threaten weakened nerve Showing bitter end as sure Let earthly starlight kiss your face Hold you firm in hope’s embrace

Through every swell Let light be held

Follow me from shaking chill To cozy lighthouse where it’s still Blinking heat from amber lamp Rising from the soaking damp

The light is not a trap unseen Nor mirage or fleeting dream Let earthly starlight lift your chin Hold your will and warm your skin

Through sea-storm’s pelt Let light be felt

Follow me from tempest’s threat To safer shores where home is kept Blinking spray that stings your eyes Trailing salt that never dries

Rocks that promise deepest grave Hazards’ gate to land you crave Let earthly starlight show the path Guide you safely through their wrath

Through shoal of stone Let light be known