#insomnia posting

Heitti seinään päärynän

Kuulu poks ja ei yhtään

I just randomly woke up. I fell asleep a little after midnight.

Normally this would frustrate me. But yesterday I wrote something on here and mentioned a song. Only Happy When It Rains. And it doesn’t rain often. Not over here, not anymore…

But it’s raining right now. Gently, but it sounds like big fat plops. And smaller plops at the same time. And somehow like running water. A lazy stream, too.

And I can only hear it in such detail because yesterday, for the first time in many months, I remembered I could open my window and let in fresh air. I was feeling stifled and the air had grown too thick. It had been that way for a while, and I like to punish myself. Maybe that’s why I’m ok with all the Garbage. But even I have my limits.

I’m only happen when it rains / I only smile in the dark / my only comfort is the night gone black

A moment after waking, I had looked at the clock to see what time it was.

4:20 am on January 3, 2026. My birthday. :)

I hope I can fall back asleep. But this is nice for now. I can close my eyes and fall asleep later as I often do—when the sun comes up.

pour some misery down

pour some misery down

pour some misery down on me

I’m only happy when it rains

“Sleep, you need it” and “it’s okay, sleep now”