#inner psyche

All gets manifested as we “feel” it ... In other words, if we feel disconnected, we will experience disconnection ...

She definitely has a type created by the emotion of her hype and she seeks these boys of earth even though her love resides In Airy turf

And everything surrounds around her She resides in the land of the Sun's allure But when you wipe out all the hype A secret magic lies

That no one can deny

And her soul is of the most beautiful essence She really doesn't need any of her anti-depressants If she could see That everyone seeks her presence

She has to create

No in between Love and hate

And she bares what she feels is her fate No patience to wait She can't picture the moment For her mind is caught up in thoughts That always seem to arrive late

But these syllables can't describe her Not in eternity Or a moment For she is simple below her facets The simplicity of the universe Complex. She walks in footprints She has no idea she reflects So she seeks escape in the bodily excitement of sex Always searching for the next According to her current ego's project And beyond.

Though I love her like a sister Never wanting her to blister I'll try and protect her from a far Even if I know it's bizzare For she always has an inner strength I can't describe in this great length.

I know she will always be her

If we both know one thing

This will definitely be the one thing That is sure.

Many times when my mother gets back from work, I scream "yay mommy is home" and run excitedly down the stairs to greet her. It reminds me of the good old days.

Lately I've been feeling like the world is conspiring against me. Everything that could have possibly have gone wrong, has. I used to be good at "faking it till I make it". But I'm not so sure I want to pretend anymore. I'M UNHAPPY! Is it so wrong to admit that to myself, to the world? I think the only weakness is admitting that you're unhappy and not doing something to change it. (Although, I admit that for the past few weeks I've been sort of mopey). I'm not sure if what I am feeling is normal "end of first semester blues"/ seasonal depression. Every time I try to talk about it, I become even more and more convinced that no one on this planet understands exactly how I feel. The more I talk about it, the more I am convinced that everyone thinks I'm complaining. And lets face it; I am. 

But, the other truth is that no one understand how I am feeling because, for the most part, everyone is complacent with WHERE they are in life. The only self improvement that they have to do is independent of their location in the grand scheme of things. I need a total change of environment, but that would cost me. Literally. And that is not a price that I can afford to pay.

This is not a cry for help. This is just a cry. 

Everyone always talks about how hard it is to have a long distance relationship with a boyfriend/ girlfriend, but no one ever mentions the difficulty of having a long distance relationship with someone you like in a platonic way. Like your best friend. To my knowledge, there are now Hollywood blockbusters that explore the complexity of long distance friendships. Are we so focused on love of the romantic variety that we neglect to think about love of the purest kind--the love of friendship and camaraderie? Is it even fair to compare the two? I'm not sure. But one thing I'm sure of is that I am determined to make my best friendships work. Nothing can come between me and my best friends, and no one can replace them in my heart. Years from now, I want them to be the bridesmaids in my wedding so that we have a crazy Vegas adventure just like in the movie Bridesmaids. Before we left for college, we promised to be in each others lives for forever. Is forever too much to ask for? I think not.