Dear Namjoon and Hoseok,
Iâve been sitting with my feelings for a while because I donât want to write this from a place of anger. I think I need to write it from a place of honesty, because I love and respect you both, and that is exactly why this has hurt me so much.
I have experienced violence in a relationship myself. I know what it feels like when someone who is supposed to love you becomes the person you are afraid of. I know that pain doesnât disappear simply because the bruises do. Some memories stay quietly inside you, and sometimes something completely unexpected brings them back to the surface. That is why this felt so personal to me.
I understand that people can love music without agreeing with everything an artist has done. I understand separating art from the artist. I donât believe that going to this concert makes you bad people. I donât believe it erases everything youâve done, everything youâve stood for, or every moment when your music and your words helped people like me through difficult times. But I do believe that you can love someone and still be disappointed by something they do. And I am disappointed.
Because I have always believed that you understood the importance of using your voices thoughtfully. Youâve spoken about empathy, vulnerability, respect, and the responsibility that comes with having people listen to you. So seeing you support someone whose history includes violence against women made me question something I never wanted to question.
There are women reading this who have survived things they rarely talk about. Women who have been afraid in their own homes. Women who have spent years rebuilding themselves after someone elseâs violence. For someone like that, seeing a person with that history continue to be celebrated can be incredibly painful. And perhaps what hurts most is knowing that you are people I admire.
I donât want this moment to become a reason for me to stop loving you. I donât want to erase years of memories, music, comfort, laughter, and gratitude because of one decision. But I also donât want to silence my discomfort just because I love you.
I hope you understand that criticism isnât always hatred. Sometimes criticism comes from caring enough to say, This hurt me.
I still love you both. I still respect the artists and people youâve shown yourselves to be over the years. But right now, I am disappointed, and I think Iâm allowed to be.
I hope you continue to listen, to reflect, and to remember that behind the millions of people who support you are individuals carrying stories you may never know. Some of us have survived things we never thought weâd survive. And sometimes, when someone we admire makes a choice that touches that old wound, it hurts more than we can explain.
I donât want to hate you. I donât want to stop believing in you. I just hope that my disappointment can exist alongside my love for you.
