#inhuman jaskier

It’s a subtle quirk. It takes Geralt years to notice. When he points it out, Jaskier says with false levity, “I guess I don’t.”

From the bard’s body language, Geralt can see he doesn’t want to talk about it, so the topic is dropped.

Years later—after Geralt screams his fury at Jaskier—the bard says in a broken voice, “Don’t worry, Geralt. I promise not to bother you anymore.”

The promise sears itself onto Geralt’s soul like a brand. One made of chaos, and he can feel it become binding.

Geralt whips around, but Jaskier was gone.

There are a few moments of confusion before Geralt realizes what just happened. Jaskier had promised, and that promise was sealed with chaos. Only the Fae have such an ability.

So my favorite Fae!Jaskier is either Angry Fae In A Post-Mountain Rage or Prince of the Seelie Court Who Falls in Love With a Witcher. Since I’ve already done a story outline for the first one, I’ll do the second!

Jaskier, Crown Prince of the Seelie Court, is allowed twenty-five years to live amongst the humans and blend in with them. His parents hope this will show him the cruelties of the world and convince him to stay in the Court where it’s safe. 

They also hope it will tone down some of his more... flamboyant tendencies. 

Surprise, surprise, he decides to masquerade as an exuberant young bard!

He spends a few years drifting around until he meets the man of his dreams: Geralt of Rivia.

Finally, a handsome, grumpy, kindhearted Witcher of Jaskier’s very own! He loves his Witcher very much and takes such good care of him (as much as he can without access to most of his magical powers). 

Jaskier falls madly, head-over-heels in love and his parents are more or less okay with it. Maybe a husband will chill him the fuck out.

Except that Geralt is an idiot.

And keeps binding himself to other people through magic and Destiny.

Not Jaskier, though, which starts to make the Prince a little sad.

So after the Mountain Jaskier returns to the Court and his parents, who are now a little disappointed that their plan to turn him away from humanity has worked. 

Jaskier mopes around the Court for months. Everything he touches wilts and dies. He doesn’t sleep or eat and his magic grows as frail as his body. His parents start to worry.

They send for Geralt by posing as human nobles with a rescue contract. 

Following every cliche and trope possible, the Seelie royals hide their son in a tower deep in the woods and put a sleeping spell over him that can only be broken by True Love’s Kiss.

Geralt arrives, passes some trials and tribulations to prove his worth, and wakes Jaskier, who finally reveals his true identity and offers Geralt a place at his side.

Bastard Man Annoys Local Malevolent Faerie, More at 11

"Oh..."

YEEEEEEESSSSSSS

Jask is a feral bastard and I 100% love him as a son of Hades.

Also, I like to think that outside of his feral protective side he fights his wars with words and his wit is just as dangerous of a weapon as his daggers. "Respect doesn't make history"??? Raw. As. Fuck. We can file this under my "reasons why children of Hades would make killer politicians" bc unlike our good buddy Rick R, I think kids of Hades would be HELLA diplomatic because if they're gonna start a war they wanna fucking win and they're gonna set themselves up for success. And, as you would need to in battle, they're good at predicting outcomes.