Jun 24, 2023
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Itβs been almost 3 months and I canβt stop worrying about you. I keep having dreams about us just doing ordinary things, just living our lives together. I wake up from those dreams sweating and punching myself for how big I fucked up.
Happy Cake Day Dad I Am Still Missing You Like Crazy πππAnd Certainly No Where Near Happy When It Comes To Your Absence π’π’π’So I Don't Talk About It Because Everyone Is Going Thru Their Own Issues ππ It's Only Been 6Months I Still Keep You Close To My Heart And I Wear You Around My Neck Everyday π’π’π’ I Am So Numb And Cold To Unnecessary Drama π―ππ― I Distance Myself From Anybody That I Feel Like Are Ungrateful Takes Things For Granted Or Whose Words Doesn't Match Their Actions I Believe Who They Show Me They Are That's It And That's All ππππππ πππ #HappyCakeDayOldMan #YourFavoriteDaughter #ILoveYouToTears #INeedYouBack #DaddysGirl #EveryDayIsAStruggle ππππ¦ππ¦πππ¦ππ¦πππ
The Room without You
Bedtime is the worst. Maybe. Or maybe waking up. We used to go to bed talking. We didnβt shut up. Weβd be so tired and weβd have to get up early the following day and we still couldnβt shut up. You would pull me close to you and I would feel your warmth and smell you. You would kiss my forehead and brush my hair out of my face. I would wake up next to you, and wrap my arms around you from behind and put my cheek to the back of your shoulder. I fell asleep to you and woke up to you.
Now I go to bed alone. My thoughts haunted with memories and what ifs. I look at your tie on the wall, the one you wore to our wedding and I remember we are married. I remember that day, that night, and I have a hard time reconciling that time with the present. I have a hard time crawling into bed and under the covers without you. I have a hard time falling asleep without you right there next to me. I have a hard time remembering the last time we went to bed together. We woke up that day and didnβt know our world would change and never be the same. And I canβt remember the day. Or the night before. I wish to God I could.
It would be one thing if we fell out of love with each other. Or if we just couldnβt stand each other and had to separate. But loving each other, being best friends and being forced apart is torture. Knowing you are in the same city instead of across an ocean kills me. We went through so much, we waited so longβ¦ and now we are here. Somewhere so far off our map that we never saw it as a remote possibility. All I can do is pray God takes care of you until I can again.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I don't know what to do anymore I feel so lost with out uπ
God. I swear it was me and you. I swear we had it all. I thought there were no stopping us. We had plans remember? Im supposed to let you drive my car, you're supposed to trip me in the retirement home and then sit by my hospital bed, I'm supposed to give you a fridge box, you were supposed to walk me up to that amazing view, you were supposed to go to more conventions with me in a wheel chair...we were supposed to be the couple goals. We were supposed to be everything. But now you ran off with him, the boy who hurt you so many times. I fucked up so bad. I truly did. I lost you and all the future memories we were supposed to make. Goddamnit. Id give the world for a second chance. Id give everything I ever have to walk with you again. What I wouldn't give to get you back. Im trying so desperately to win you back. But no matter how hopeless I feel about it, im still trying, im still going for you, I'm still dreaming you'd come back. And even if you tell me to give up, I won't. I know you thought you caused me pain but you didn't. My own stupidity did, and god i just needed that while to think, i truly did. And after talking to people i realized that I shouldn't tear myself up over a friendship. I know you didn't want to tell me that I caused you pain, but I damn well I know I did. All I ask is for that last chance all I ask is that we can make things right, because Id give everything for that, I'd give everything to have you back in my life again..
And when I close my eyes it almost feels like nothing's changed at all. Like you're still by my side and the stars are just as bright as they were when you and I sat in the road and and held hands for the very first time.