#individualistic

originally to mean "binding" (religare, "to bind "). In the degree that it has become individualistic it has lost touch with a common humanity. Self-regardfulness impels the cry, "What must I do to be saved?"

Siang itu di bandara Solo. Duduk-duduk sendiri nunggu boarding sambil scrolling, nemu reels isinya kurang lebih begini:

"I think the biggest lie us be independent, be self sufficient, you don't need anyone, you'll be fine, you got this. That's not how we're designed.. Human beings are designed biochemically for connection. They are designed to be codependent, they are designed to love each other. We now live in a hyper-independent society that is totally individualistic and teaching everybody 'You'll be fine, you got this, self improvement, self - esteem, self self self and nothing to do with a group affiliation'. What happens is, when you don't feel great you feel like you have lost that life... We don't have that resilience. We are totally encouraged to be solo." (@Frankielleepodcast)

Masih kepikiran sampai sekarang, benarkah demikian?

Individualisme adalah fislosofi yang menghargai nilai moral individu dan kemandirian. Tapi, hiperindividualisme atau individualisme ekstrem mendorong orang untuk cenderung bertindak dengan cara yang sangat individualis tanpa memperhatikan masyarakat, menganggap yang lain ga penting. Intinya tuh serba aku, aku, aku dan aku.

Kita berusaha memperbaiki diri lewat penampilan, pendidikan, pekerjaan, keluarga, keterlibatan dan sebagainya adalah hal yang lumrah dan sah. Akan tetapi, menjadi salah ketika usaha-usaha tersebut berubah menjadi memprioritas keuntungan diri sendiri di atas yang lain -- bisa banyak dan beragam wujudnya -- secara terus-menerus.

"You can be an individualistic person but that does not excuse selfish or amoral behavior at all."

Ya ada positifnya sih hiperindividualis itu, antara lain personal freedom, self-reliance, innovation. Tapi, dampak negatifnya juga ga main-main: self-isolation, inequality, lack of social responsibility.

Emang kaya gimana sih hiperindividualis itu? a. Membuang-buang air, energi, makanan dalam aktivitas sehari-hari. b. mencontek, memang ga ngerugiin siapapun, tapi mengikis kepercayaan terhadap sistem dan mengakibatkan ketidakadilan. c. Menerobos lampu merah dan berbagai pelanggaran yang mengganggu hak orang lain. d. Obsesi terhadap kesuksesan finansial yang terlalu mengagung-agungkan akumulasi uang ketimbang manfaat dari uang itu sendiri.

Kaget? Ga nyangka kan? Padahal, perilaku-perilaku itu detrimental to our society a.k.a merusak tatanan.

Ada kaitan antara hyper-individualistic, narcissistic dan loneliness.

Mulai dari narcissists (narsistik). Merasa memiliki hak untuk berperilaku sesuai keinginan mereka, masa bodoh dengan yang lain. Ini perilaku narsistik. Jangan dikira orang-orang narsis itu yang suka foto-foto selfie, no!

Mereka merasa bahwa cara itu akan membuat diri mereka terlihat oke, pinter, impresif, dsb sehingga bisa manrik orang lain. Ironisnya, sikap narsistik seperti itu justru menyibukkan mereka untuk lebih berfokus pada diri sendiri sehingga malah ga bisa membina hubungan dengan orang lain. Akhirnya ya menyendiri.

Menyendiri = Sepi = Kesepian -> buah dari budaya hioerindividualis.

Sampai sini bisa dipahami?

Lanjut ke loneliness (kesepian). Karena menyendiri, jadi kesepian meskipun banyak yang menyangkal. Solusi dari rasa kesepian adalah hubungan yang bermakna. Sayangnya, alih-alih mencoba menghubungkan diri dengan masyarakat/sekitar, orang-orang justru menjustifikasi rasa kesepian mereka dengan dalih mengejar ambisi pribadi narsistik hiperindividualis tadi.

Orang kalau kesepian suka mempertanyakan diri sendiri (1) kurangnya apa, (2) apa yang perlu diperbaiki, (3) pengen nyenengin semua orang -- ini semua destruktif dan kontraproduktif terhadap pengembangan diri.

Padahal, ga susah untuk bisa terhubung dengan dunia di luar dunia kecil kita dan ke-aku-an tadi, yaitu mencari komunitas yang punya 'kesamaan' (pengalaman, tujuan, dsb).

"The true essence of humanity and why we've survive so long and been so successful, is because we rely on each other. And thise values are being eroded." - Shomi Williams

"Betul bahwa kita ga harus selalu ditemani orang lain hanya untuk melakukan hal-hal yang bisa dan biasa kita lakukan sendiri," kataku. Tapi, bukan berarti kita serba bisa sendiri.

Mulai sekarang, berhentilah sok kuat dengan kelakuanmu itu. Pertemanan yang solid itu pada prinsipnya ya berbagi masalah, saling bantu, menghabiskan waktu bersama, dsb. Minta ditemenin belanja, curhat, atau olahraga bareng itu bukan sesuatu yang berlebihan, itu normal. Jangan sok hiperindividualis terus bergaya apa-apa bisa sendiri.

If I Were a Redhead: Embracing Passion and Individuality

Imagining myself as a redhead evokes a vivid tapestry of fiery passion, uniqueness, and strength. Red hair is often associated with a range of characteristics, from boldness and creativity to a spirited personality. As I explore the traits and qualities I would embody as a redhead, I find a celebration of individuality, confidence, and a zest for life that resonates deeply within me.

Embodying Passion and Creativity

If I were a redhead, I would embrace a sense of passion that seems to characterize those with this striking hair color. The fiery hues of red are often linked to strong emotions, and I can envision myself channeling that fervor into my pursuits, relationships, and creativity. I would approach life with an intensity that fuels my ambitions and inspires those around me. Whether it's in my career, hobbies, or personal relationships, I would fully immerse myself in every experience, pouring my heart and soul into everything I do.

**Voice and Tone:** My voice would likely carry an enthusiastic and spirited quality, reflecting the passion I feel for life. In conversations, I would speak with an animated tone, using expressive gestures to emphasize my points. My laughter would be hearty and infectious, creating an inviting atmosphere that encourages others to join in the joy. As a redhead, I would be the friend who isn't afraid to share my opinions and feelings openly, fostering a culture of authenticity among my peers.

Celebrating Uniqueness and Individuality

Red hair is celebrated for its rarity and distinctiveness, and as a redhead, I would fully embrace my individuality. I would wear my unique hair color as a badge of honor, showcasing the beauty of being different. This sense of uniqueness would extend beyond my appearance; I would actively cultivate my interests, opinions, and hobbies, ensuring they reflect my true self.

**Fashion Choices:** My sense of style as a redhead would be bold and eclectic. I would gravitate towards colors that complement my hair, such as greens, blues, and rich earth tones, which would create a striking contrast. My wardrobe would include statement pieces that reflect my personality—vibrant patterns, artistic prints, and unconventional accessories. Fashion would be a form of self-expression, allowing me to showcase my creativity and confidence in my identity.

Building Connections with Depth

If I were a redhead, the importance of building connections with depth and authenticity would be paramount. I would naturally attract people with my passionate personality and willingness to be open and vulnerable. My friendships would be characterized by meaningful conversations, shared experiences, and a deep understanding of one another. I would cherish the connections I form, nurturing them through love, kindness, and support.

**Social Dynamics:** In social situations, I would likely take on an engaging and charismatic role. I would thrive in groups, where my vibrant personality could shine. As a redhead, I might become the life of the party, using my enthusiasm to energize gatherings and create an atmosphere of fun. My ability to make others feel valued and included would draw people to me, allowing me to build a diverse circle of friends who share in the joy of life’s experiences.

Conclusion: Celebrating the Redhead Identity

In conclusion, envisioning myself as a redhead invites a reflection on passion, individuality, and connection. The traits commonly associated with being a redhead—fervor, creativity, and authenticity—resonate with the person I aspire to be. This thought exercise allows me to acknowledge the beauty of embracing my true self while celebrating the uniqueness that each individual brings to the world.

Ultimately, whether I am a redhead, brunette, blonde, or any other hair color, it is vital to recognize and celebrate the multifaceted nature of identity. We all possess a range of qualities that transcend superficial labels, and it is this diversity that enriches our experiences and enhances our relationships.

So, if I were a redhead, I would not only embrace the characteristics associated with this identity but also honor the unique stories and narratives that each of us contributes to the beautiful tapestry of life. Each hair color represents a different facet of who we are, and celebrating those differences is a testament to the richness of human experience.

If I Were a Blonde: A Journey into Identity and Self Expression

Imagining myself as a blonde opens up a world of possibilities, filled with vibrant energy, playfulness, and a unique approach to life. Each hair color carries its own stereotypes and cultural associations, and the persona of a blonde often evokes images of cheerfulness, adventure, and a carefree spirit. As I explore the traits and characteristics that I would embody as a blonde, I find a celebration of vibrancy, spontaneity, and a zest for life.

Embracing Vibrancy and Energy

If I were a blonde, I would fully embrace a sense of vibrancy that seems to radiate from this hair color. Blondes are often portrayed as lively individuals, and I can envision myself embodying this attribute wholeheartedly. My hair, bright and shining, would reflect not only my physical appearance but also my approach to life. I would exude a cheerful and optimistic energy, encouraging those around me to find joy in the ordinary and to appreciate the beauty in everyday moments.

**Voice and Tone:** In conversations, I imagine my voice taking on a bright and animated quality. I would speak with enthusiasm and expressiveness, engaging others with a lively tone. My laughter would be infectious, creating an inviting atmosphere where people feel comfortable and uplifted. As a blonde, I would be the friend who lights up the room, using humor and positivity to bridge connections with others and encourage laughter and joy.

Celebrating Spontaneity and Adventure

As a blonde, I would likely embrace spontaneity and a sense of adventure. The stereotype of the free-spirited blonde resonates with me, and I can see myself being the first to suggest an impromptu road trip or an unplanned outing with friends. My life would be characterized by a willingness to try new things, explore uncharted territories, and seize opportunities as they arise. Whether it’s a weekend getaway or a last-minute concert, I would thrive on the excitement of the unexpected.

**Fashion Choices:** My sense of style as a blonde would mirror this adventurous spirit. I’d gravitate towards bold colors, trendy patterns, and playful accessories that showcase my personality. Bright yellows, pastels, and vibrant floral prints would dominate my wardrobe, reflecting the joy I’d want to share with the world. My outfits would be a canvas for self-expression, allowing my creativity and enthusiasm to shine through.

Building Inclusive Connections

If I were a blonde, the importance of building inclusive connections would be at the forefront of my interactions. I would be the friend who makes a conscious effort to include everyone and create an environment where all voices are heard. My approachable demeanor and joyful personality would draw people in, creating a sense of community and belonging. I would take pride in fostering diversity in my friendships, cherishing the unique stories and perspectives that each person brings to the table.

**Social Dynamics:** In social situations, I would thrive amidst a group of friends, where my love for connection would shine. I’d be the one initiating games, suggesting fun activities, and encouraging collaboration. My ability to make others feel comfortable and valued would lead to deep, meaningful relationships that transcend superficial interactions. I’d take joy in organizing gatherings that celebrate friendship, where laughter and shared experiences reign supreme.

Conclusion: Celebrating Individuality

In conclusion, envisioning myself as a blonde is an exploration of identity that celebrates vibrancy, spontaneity, and connection. The traits commonly associated with being a blonde—cheerfulness, adventurousness, and an inclusive spirit—resonate deeply with the person I aspire to be. This thought exercise allows me to reflect on the qualities I admire and the ways they can shape my interactions with others.

Ultimately, whether I am a blonde, brunette, or any other hair color, it is essential to recognize the multifaceted nature of identity. We are all capable of embracing a variety of traits and characteristics that transcend surface-level perceptions. Celebrating our individuality and acknowledging the diverse qualities that make us who we are enriches our experiences and enhances our relationships.

So, if I were a blonde, I would not only embrace the characteristics associated with this identity but also honor the diversity of human experience and the unique narratives we each contribute to the beautiful tapestry of life. Each hair color, and each individual, brings something special to the world, and that is a celebration worth sharing.