Jul 31, 2025
No one:
Dagoth Ur’s dream messages to the Nerevarine: Come to my mountain and ride my d*ck sloppy style like you used to.
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No one:
Dagoth Ur’s dream messages to the Nerevarine: Come to my mountain and ride my d*ck sloppy style like you used to.
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Sheogorath: Started seeing someone.
Sanguine: As in dating or hallucinations?
Vivec: Well friends, it looks like we can't Mansplain, Manipulate, Malewife our way out of this one
Almalexia: Manslaughter it is
Nerevar: Hey wait-
I think one of my favorite scenes in ESO is during the Dark Brotherhood questline.
You run into Naryu and Razum-Dar both which is already awesome.
But Naryu just states you're in the Brotherhood and Raz is like, "If I don't respond to that and ignore it then I don't have to report on it or accept it."
It makes it even funnier if you're an Eye of the Queen and then Raz finds out you're in the Brotherhood. Like his thought process is just, "Ah, this one didn't hear that so it didn't happen."
Imagine if Balgruuf was sat next to the Dragonborn during season unending, how fucking chaotic that'd be 😭
Sat there giggling like fucking kids taking the piss out of Ulfric, Elenwen, and Tullius bickering under their breaths
Legate and Galmar side-eyeing them constantly
The witty come backs they'd conjure up too omgg
Why didn't we get this 😭😭🙏🙏🙏
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*One day at the Retching Netch.*
Teldryn, to Ralis: Why does the Dragonborn call you 'babygirl?'
Paarthurnax: Guys get out of the tank.
*Alduin, Casthia, Sun Spots, and Miraak pop out of the top of a tank like meerkats*
Alduin: You're not our dad
Paarthurnax: Get out of the fucking tank, I'm your legal dad!
Miraak: You're not our dad 🎶
Akatosh, in a flash of light: I'm your dad, get out of the fucking ta-
Sun Spots: We're in a tank and y'all ain't!
Akatosh and Paarthurnax: Get out of the fucking tank!
Casthia: We're literally in a tank and you're not.
Miraak: You're not our dads
Akatosh: Literally get out of the tank
Alduin, Casthia, Sun Spots, and Miraak: No!
*Odahviing and Durnehviir pull up in their own tank*
Paarthurnax: I'm done *goes back inside*
*Akatosh vanishes*
If we’re in trouble, just throw a Dragonborn at the problem and hope for the best.
Akatosh, often, definitely