#imposter factory

That is why we see protestors outside the HQ in the Holiday Specials, because ethically there is a line that Sigmund Corp walks on with their use of the memory machines. It's a different conversation regarding ethics, but my point is that Sigmund Corp manipulates the value of regrets for elderly clients because they have lived long lives and because they are soon to be dead. It's easy to understand, and it seems to be a widespread service from different companies as well. Personally I regret a million things, but I am unsure if I would want to change my life completely because of those regrets considering that I would gain new regrets in the process!

However, let's get back to the sauce.

Regrets in the games are widespread, everyone has them even if they are not the center of the character. Johnny clearly regretted how he failed to understand River and how he never understood WHY he wanted to go to the moon. Colin regretted many small decisions throughout his life - how his marriage proposal went for example - despite how happy he was overall throughout his life. Lynri regretted how her life turned out - at least within the simulation, where she seemingly chose a life that ended in tragedy and that left her simulating other lives. In the real world Lynri most likely regretted not being able to share her memories with her growing son and her husband. Eva regretted how things turned out with Neil and how she was unable to do more to connect with Neil - such as with the Beach Episode, where it's implied that the trip happened in real life but Neil turned down going to the trip. Neil regretted that he could not live a long healthy life without worries, at least not a life that would not in end in tragedy like with his mother, and he worked to recover his mother's memories and later to leave something behind for Eva.

In the cases of Johnny, Colin, and Lynri, they essentially die having resolved many of their regrets - Johnny understand River and meets her on the moon, Colin does not feel the pressure of "fixing" his life, and Lynri lives a happy life with her family. However, they also live out fairytales that leave a bittersweet ending for those living after they die. Johnny's brother Joey lives, Johnny easily becomes an astronaut, by chance River also becomes an astronaut, the two fall in love despite the time and distance, Joey becomes a successful author, Johnny does not have to worry about understanding River, Johnny is able to afford both the house and the medical treatment for River (if she even ever gets sick in the new memories), and River lives as long as Johnny. But the reality is that Johnny died alone, only able to leave the house to Lily who in his new memories would never exist because he would have River by his side in old age, and most importantly Joey and River would never have conclusive resolutions of their own in the real world. Colin only needed to forget Sigmund Corp to live a life without regrets, but his wife and son would forever live a reality where Colin was dissatisfied with his life to the point of wanting to change it. Yes they receive the journal at the end, but they will live with that idea forever because Colin still sought to change something from his life that could have resulted in him not marrying his wife or never having their son. Lynri's simulation lives a life where she never has her illness, and lives in a story where she never has to choose her life or her son's life to begin with. In reality she had to choose, and that choice had a major impact on her son and her husband because she died early on - and that decision ripples into the present where Neil himself is searching for his mother's memories because she is gone. Rather than living a life where she sees her son grow up and marry, her son spends whatever remaining life he has left searching for memories that are stuck in a machine.

A part of their decisions to go to Sigmund Corp, or to use the memory machine in Lynri's case, was the fact that Sigmund Corp/memory machine changed the value of their regrets and offered a solution to those regrets. Johnny already regretted a lot of his life and his desire to go to the moon was clearly a way that Sigmund Corp could alleviate that regret. Colin only began caring about his regrets more because Sigmund Corp influenced how much value he placed on his relatively minor regrets to sell him a service. The real Lynri used the memory machine to hold her memories, something that she wouldn't be able to transfer to her son after her death. And in the simulations, Lynri regretted her decisions and found a lot of value in changing them in her final simulation. The value of their regrets pushed these individuals to make decisions to change those regrets, and it's bittersweet. In a way, that's their right to decide if they want to change things as they are dying - because ultimately their real lives still happened and cannot be changed. Only they will experience change, but everyone else will remain the same. And that's where it's bitter, because everyone else will live knowing that their loved one disliked their current life and that they actively paid to change that life. And the client will die believing in a fairytale world, which may or may not involve those still living in it.

And then you have Eva and Neil. They are a tragedy in my opinion, a bittersweet one. Eva has been a mature and caring woman who knows what she wants, however human she is in her faults. She meets Neil and they spend years working together, but while she tries to connect with Neil, he remains separated from everything and everyone around him. Neil on the other hand has been a mystery, while he's sarcastic and an occasional joker, he has moments of cruel irony and coldness. He has spent his life working towards finding his mother's memories and has pushed everything away because of fear of losing and hurting others. This has created regrets for the two of them. Eva regrets not connecting more with Neil and spending more time with him - such as with the 'Beach Episode' where she keeps reliving a trip that includes Neil. Neil regrets the wasted time of the past and the limited time he has left, perhaps he did want to join the Christmas dinner and the trip which is why he has simulations of both of those situations - two situations he let pass by because of his focus on finding his mother's memories. And in the end, Neil will never get to live a life with those he cares for - not as friends or lovers or family, because he will soon die and leave nothing behind but his memories.

I think the 'Beach Episode' and 'The Last Hour' (shortened title) games are important, because they are Eva's and Neil's regrets and the solution to those regrets. Neil gets to leave something behind for Eva, something to be remembered by and something to help Eva overcome her grief over his death. Eva gets to live through changed memories to gain some closure... But that's not reality, that's the fairytale. Neil does leave behind something for Eva, but he leaves behind his regrets and reinforces Eva's own regrets. Eva finds a twisted comfort in living false memories over and over - retreating from the world and becoming stuck in simulations that only remind her that Neil is dead at the end. And I think that in a twisted way, the solution for Eva and Neil is for their regrets to keep existing even if they hurt. Unlike Johnny, Colin, or Lynri, their regrets should not be solved, they should be accepted and overcome. Grief is harsh, when you lose something or someone, you feel like you have lost a part of yourself. And the solution to grief is not to remove your regrets, it is to learn to live with the loss. In Neil's case, he lived and died with regrets, and there is no changing that because he will leave behind devastation that he cannot fix. In Eva's case, she will have to keep living and learn to live with the loss of Neil because although she cannot change the past, she can continue to remember Neil and the real moments they spent together - not the simulated scenarios that pretend that Neil is not dead.

Sorry for the long post - I love this series and I am so excited to see the last episode! I've been following the series since 'To The Moon' released, so I have had time to stew my thoughts on the series!