The Picture of Dorian Gray (The Original 1980 Uncensored Edition) by Oscar Wilde

well i read a book. there were some really interesting threads in this, i thought Dorian being a narcissistic weirdo was cool to read about, but other than the end of the book taking a much darker turn, i did't find much about this impressive. i don't like reading books expecting them to work harder for me to enjoy them, but i struggled to want to read this.

Must I Go by Yiyun Li

wasn't what i expected it to be, not really a fan of what it was. you give me an 88 year old woman who's survived her eldest daughter's suicide and raised her granddaughter and is looking after her greatgrandaughter and what do we do? we spend almost 200 pages of her dissecting the journal of some random man who ended up marrying his cousin and lived his whole life not knowing he had said daughter? why. i don't care! i don't care!!!!!!! and then when Lila (the character in question) did talk about herself, her mother having her dreams crushed in her marriage, her three marriages and further 4 children, it's just brushed over and kind of shrugged at. none of the "important" men in her life are alive and yet they took up so much of the book. whatever you keep dead people alive in your memory but other than being reminded how selfish and uncaring Lila was there wasn't much about this i felt positive about. wouldn't recommend, went straight in my donation pile.

Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay by Elena Ferrante

i finally did it. what a rollercoaster! i absolutely hate reading first person books when i find the character annoying. not to say a bad person, or morally defunct or anything. just plain old annoying. Elena Greco is annoying. fine in the first 2 as she's 10-22 years old and it's expected, but the third book sees her in her mid 20s early 30s and i genuinely wanted to throw this book at a wall. i struggle to see this as a tale of friendship at this point just because like. they aren't friends??? they're two women who at this point are bound by history and maybe that's the point but i want better for Lila and she remains the star of the show

The Story of the Lost Child by Elena Ferrante

i finished the quartet and feel emotionally wrung out. this was going fine but i think it's around 350 pages in there's a full blown "relationship" between Lila's 24 year old son and Elena's 15 year old daughter???? reading from the perspective of an awful mother was so jarring, too. really enjoyed the series, i just feel like i felt very untethered towards the end and i just wanted it to end

september / autumnal reads

Thiefs Journal by Jean Genet

theeeee most challenging book i've ever read i think. it was like doing a boss fight where you're 5 levels below the recommended level and you can get through it but it's hardfought. stellar, though. there's a lot that went over my head on this initial read, but i loved reading this book even when struggling through it. Genet's candidness was so refreshing i admired his voice and how unashamed he was to hold positions and opinions that were hypocritical, even. i saw this was added to your tbr recently, and i think you'll love it too!

Season of Migration to the North by Tayeb Salih

no reprieve! jumping right into another difficult book. one of my long term reading goals is to continue seeking out more non-english fiction, and coming across this book (i think it was in the list of recommended reading at the back of Let It Come Down by Paul Bowles as suggested by Penguin) was kind of serendipitous. i wish my reading had credited me more Big Words for discussing books like these but it's one of those ones where i'm itching to hear someone else's perspective on this so i'll do some googling. enjoyed it though!

My Phantoms by Gwendoline Riley

my barcelona read. i took my mom for her birthday, so it was only fitting i read another book giving voice to disjointed mother-daughter relationships. i loved this. i'll never get bored of this subject matter, and i think Riley did a commendable job at presenting something well-balanced between real emotional turmoil and humour. what stuck out to me most was holding yourself back from expressing yourself wholly to your mom in the same breath that you expect her to be vulnerable and the kind of. dance you do back and forth to test who'll blink first kind of thing. second plane read that's blown me away this year

The Portrait of a Mirror by A. Natasha Joukovsky

i just finished this today so thoughts may be a touch too fresh, but this was really like reading a character study on the main four in gossip girl if we'd followed them through to their 30s (big 4 being blair, dan, SVDW and nate). that snobbish upper-middle class art and literature intellectualism with high society expectations as a measure for acceptable behaviour. i appreciate books that are well researched and go the extra mile, and this did it for me. shame i got stuck with the ugly cover version.

august reads

i've already picked out my next read! rue (of okruee fame) and i will be buddy reading The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde and if the weather gets better i will finally pick up ferrante #3. i'm 27/35 books towards my reading goal and feeling pretty good tbh <3