#imnotbrucewayne

''Jesus, old man, I was talking about us not coordinating this fucking mess, not --''

Not that.

Was he?

Fuck, okay, so maybe he was a bit more concussed than he thought he was. Bruce definitely was. He had to be, Jason argued with himself, after effectively pouring his heart out like that.

Jason struggled to sit up, taking his sweet time to collect himself before looking over at the Bat. And he immediately wished he'd done so sooner.

''Lie the fuck back down, B,'' Jason exclaimed, and he rushed over, scrambling on hands and knees as the doubt clouded his vision. ''Why didn't you say anything?'' The rod had snapped off, but it had latched right between Bruce's plate work, up his abdomen.

And Jason knew like no other that wounds to the abdomen were one hell of a way to get rid of someone.

Stop it. Focus.

Jason pushed Bruce back on his back, ignoring the tremor in his hands as he did so. ''Red Hood to anyone. I need immediate evac on my location. Does anyone read me?''

Static.

“A grunt of approval doesn’t translate to removing my belt, Kitten.”

{✗} “Y’know--I don’t need a HUGE wedding, Bruce. We could just elope tomorrow night and call it a day.” Selina hummed, glancing up from her laptop, rolling over on the huge bed with a sigh. She burrowed her face into the sleeve of her sweatshirt, curling her toes off of the edge of the bed. “I mean, it’s not like I have any FRIENDS, excluding Harley and Pam, and...” The corners of her lips turned up into an amused smirk, though she had no idea if he could see it or not.

She couldn’t look at another table arrangement--she’d end up MURDERING someone.

Fluttering her eyes open, she sat up and leaned against her hands, pursing her lips teasingly as she patted the spot beside her. “C’mon--you asked me, and I’m offering an alternative. I’ll even wear a white dress, but we don’t need to do a big thing.” She hummed, pulling her sweatshirt off with a sigh, laying back down on the mattress before pausing. 

“Wait--are you going out tonight? Pfft, you are not leaving me here to look at cake decorations while you go and kick ass. I’m going.” Gracefully, she leaped the bed, searching for her whip in her bag. 

This was a mistake.

He had an elaborate plan. A meal together. Champagne in front of the fire similar to the night they shared in the cabin before he eventually pulled out the ring at the stroke of midnight to propose.

Instead Two Face had chosen that exact time to start causing chaos in the city and so all of his plans had been torn to tatters. Still, Harvey had been stopped and there was a minute until midnight and so he had chosen now. The dingy alleyway was far from perfect but it would have to do.

“Selina…” He stated, taking the feline’s gloved hand in his own as he dropped to his knee. He reached into his belt until suddenly he realised that he didn’t have the ring. His eyes widened in horror, knowing that moving to his knee meant he set in motion something he couldn’t stop.

He shifted quickly and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. He snapped the cuff over his own wrist and then held the other end over Selina’s wrist. “Will you do the honour of becoming my wife?”

Selina was F R E E Z I N G her ass off. It was cold, she was somehow S W E A T I N G and goddamn Harvey Dent was ruining her Christmas. Well, really it was Bruce’s C H R I S T M A S since they had already celebrated H A N U K K A H for her. She stood, shuddering in her boots as the S N O W fell around their heads. 

The wailing of police sirens around them Y A N K E D Selina from a previous fantasy of a W I N T E R paradise--reminding her that they were still in Gotham. She was ready to head home and P E E L off her catsuit, slip into a H O T bath and drink the L A S T bottle of wine in her cabinet. As she turned her back, expecting him to follow, she heard him drop to his K N E E. 

Okay, what the H E L L was he doing?

She turned her head, lifting her goggles up to examine him fully in D I S B E L I E F. Holy S H I T. Her green hues widened in shock, mirroring his slight P A N I C whens he realized exactly what he was doing. “Bats...”

Somehow, getting P R O P O S E D to in a D A R K alley with a pair of handcuffs seemed like the O N L Y way she’d agree to get married. The corners of her lips slipped up in an amused smile, trying to hide the tears that G L O S S E D her eyes. Her fingers clicked the handcuff around her wrist.