#imbetter

Oh, I’ve known. I’ve known for a long time. My perception of love was made up in my head that as long as I am loved and I love the person that it’s great. No matter the mean words, the lies, and the numerous amounts of times I cried. I covered those up and locked the hurt inside, slowly deteriorating and becoming weaker than when we met. I posted so many pictures and videos wanting everyone to see the good times, never the bad. How many couples do you think do this in today’s world? A lot. Everyone does it at some point. Act like life is perfect to social media, while everything actually is falling apart. Sometimes we are falling apart and we don’t even want to admit it because when it comes to love, it’s so easy to let the good in the person outweigh the bad. I began to care about someone more than I cared about myself and from there on, the rest was hell. I wanted so badly to move on when things didn’t work out, but it’s so hard to stop my heart from being so in love. I knew it, I knew that things weren’t okay, but I pushed them to the side. The ones around me watched me change and even witnessed moments of the sad truth, I wasn’t getting treated like I deserved. They told me again and again, and I listened. I knew what they were saying was right. But I couldn’t help that I fell terribly in love with someone that couldn’t comprehend the love I provided or was incapable of caring/loving/treating me the way that I need.

No ones perfect. I make tons of mistakes and no, falling in Love was not one. I’m glad I did, I’m glad I still love. I have such a big heart that I’ll probably always love the person that I first fell in love with. I think it’s inevitable that we all do. A mistake I made might have been to not hold myself higher because I am a porcelain teacup, fragile, but beautiful. I am not a paper cup or even a ceramic mug, but I settled for being treated that way. I deserve my cup to be full and I hope to fill someone else’s. I thought I did a good job of being a lover. Calls, texts, notes, cards, gifts, etc. listening, caring, canceling for, and being honest with. I didnt do it all because he once did it for me and I wanted him to still. I did it because making the one you truly love happy is the best feeling in the world. But the question is did I make my first love happy? If I did, why am I so unhappy? Why have I tried taking my life for someone that can live life without me. Why have I asked God why he would let this happen to me? God does everything for a reason.

But it’s really not that easy to just ignore all the butterflies he gave me since the day we first met. Or to forget the wonderful things he did do for me. I wish the bad didn’t happen, I wish we were happy like we thought we would always be. But, I’m thinking this is what is supposed to happen. Maybe I had to lose you to find me and maybe when you lose me, you’ll be the beautiful person that I fell in love with to another girl and never put another girl through this. But it’s scary how you see no wrong in what you’ve done or was said. It’s so scary, I must move on. Move on with your life as well. I hope you the best that this world can give.

The Queens Are Here and I’m Here for it!

Missy Elliott ft. Eve, Lil Kim & Trina “I’m Better” Remix 

I woke up to this in my inbox a couple of days ago. But due to my busy schedule, I was not able to listen to it until last night. Chiiiiiillllleee.....

I will say this....Missy Elliott is back like she never took that hiatus!  Armed with her friends in music and legends of hip-hop/rap some of the Queens and best to EVER do it: Lil Kim, Trina and Eve!?!?!?! Thank you Missy for snatching my life and getting it allll the way together!! With Queen Kim’s “La Bella Mafia” influenced jaw-dropping opening, Queen Trina’s money making anchoring verse & Queen Eve coming outta nowhere like a thief in a night to remind us she STILL GOT IT to close it out.....

Maaaaaaan! Kudos to Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott for reviving her track “I’m Better” ft. Lamb, which was originally released in January. This is the perfect example of a remix!!!!!  

It’s good to see the Queens uniting on a track that I feel will get play all summer 2017 long! It’s definitely a”summer jam”.... IMO This was a much needed female anthem that I will personally be bumping in my ride for a looooooong time. And when you see me in the streets just know #ImBetter when I give you that Beyonce’ face like....

 You got the juice now....

#LoveRobynH