c/w: heavy yearning, fluff, bellamy blake x fem!reader
If I were to kiss you then go to hell, I would. So then I can brag with the devils I saw heaven without ever entering it - shakespeare
collab with my pookiedoodle @lov3lyl3tters
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The first time he sees you after the drop, youâre covered in soot and bloodânot yours, he hopesâand barking orders at people twice your size.
Bellamy doesnât know it yet, but heâs already ruined.
You challenge him. Every damn day. You call him out when no one else dares to. You see through him, through all the walls and bark and armor he throws up around himself, and it infuriates him. It scares him. It draws him in like nothing else ever has.
You donât belong in this place, not really. Not in the dirt and the war and the hunger. You talk about the sky like itâs poetry and hold dying kids like it doesnât break you inside. And he knowsâhe knowsâheâs the wrong kind of person for someone like you.
But that doesnât stop him from looking at your mouth when you talk. From dreaming about your voice. From thinking about what your skin would feel like under his hands, what your laugh would sound like if you werenât constantly worried someone was going to die that day.
Itâs late when it happens.
The fireâs dying downâthe others are asleep, and youâre standing just outside the camp with your arms crossed, watching the trees like youâre waiting for something. For someone.
âYou know itâs not safe out here alone,â he says, coming up beside you.
You donât look at him. âSince when do you care if Iâm safe?â
He flinches, just slightly. âAlways have.â
You glance at him then, eyebrows raised like you donât believe him. Like youâre used to him pushing and pulling, throwing barbed comments, and then bleeding behind closed doors.
âThen why do you act like you hate me half the time?â you ask, voice low.
He exhales through his nose. Looks down. âBecause I do.â
Bellamy lifts his eyes to yours again. Thereâs something raw in his expression. Unfiltered. Wrecked. âI hate how you make me feelâI hate that I want you when Iâve got blood on my handsâThat I think about kissing you when I should be thinking about how to keep you alive.â
You stare at him, breathing shallowly.
âIf I were to kiss you,â he says, voice quiet and rough, âthen go to hell for it, I would.â
âIâd go gladly,â he adds, eyes locked on yours. âSo I could sit there with the devils and brag that I saw heaven⊠without ever entering it.â
You donât say anything. You canât. Not with the way his words split you open.
You stammer, trying to brew up a response. This wasâunexpected, but in the best way possible. For someone to say that theyâd love you to the ends of the Earth, and beyond heaven or hell,
Who wouldnât wish they had that? Such a love that was soft and surprising, not loudâbut enough for people to hear.
A man youâve been tied to since you landed here. Someone who may seem strict, or rude to others, but looking past the quick responses and orders, lay someone with care in their heart.
Bellamy Blake, who would rather yell at people for their safetyâthan take a risk that could kill them. Someone who genuinely cared for the lives of his people.
You inhale sharply, reminding yourself to breathe.
You exhale a laugh of relief, dropping your head down to rest on his chest.
He goes to speakâbut you interrupt
âYouâyou donât need to say anything else. Youâve already won me over, Blake.â âJust, give me a second.â
The late-night âhighâ sending a confession through. You and him were alone together, suffocated by the overwhelming realization of confession. Of love. A peaceful and quiet night despite the ruckus that occurs every day.
You sigh, looking up at him.
âWell? Arenât you gonna kiss me already?â You smirk.
Smiling into the kiss, he grabs you, pulling you in.
Who knew Bellamy Blake was such a yearner?