#ilmater

"Nienna," he whispered, in response to which she wrung her hands together and her gaze hesitantly shifted down towards her feet. "Nienna, please. Come here," he repeated, with an aching softness in his voice that was barely audible above the distant hum of nightlife heard from Sharess' Caress across the street.

Tears steadily painting her face in charcoal streaks, Nienna numbly stared at the blood smeared on the palms of her hands and wiped them across her robes, taking a few tentative steps towards him until she was just inches away and peering up at him with bloodshot eyes and a shamed expression.

Geraldus placed his hands on her biceps and met her gaze with his distinctive wide, watery, apologetic hazel eyes. "I saw everything, Nienna. My love. I'm so sorry," he paused to regain his breath that had quickened to an uncomfortable pace. "I know I shouldn't have eavesdropped on you. I came down to investigate when I saw the flash of light and I…I couldn't look away."

He cupped her face in his hands as she continued to weep, his voice shaken but firm in intention. "Nienna, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I said to you today." Her eyes began flittering in a panic as she attempted to shake her head in his trembling hands, muttering almost incomprehensibly as she repeated "no" and "don't apologize" several times over.

Geraldus firmed his grip on Nienna's face as he felt a pang of burning anger scorch across his chest. No longer an anger directed at her, but rather towards every facet of this cruel world that had made her believe she was only worthy of torture, malice, and suffering. And while he had never once before touched her in a way that wasn't painstakingly gentle and soft, as if he might break her, that kind of touch no longer felt sufficient in conveying how viscerally this anger coursed through his veins.

"No, Nienna, stop, listen to me, please," he snapped in a harsh plea, Nienna's eyes rapidly darting back and forth across his desperate gaze before sniffling and weakly nodding.

"I was so bloody furious with you when I saw you get injured again today, and I didn't understand why you kept recklessly throwing yourself into these dangerous situations like they were some righteous tests of faith. But I understand now," he paused, softening his expression again as ran his thumb across her cheek that had been dampened from streaks of tears and blood, her skin tinged blue and purple from deep bruising. "You aren't reckless and you certainly aren't idiotic. You're just hurting, and trying to treat the world better than it had treated you."

Hot tears began to accumulate in the corners of his eyes as he watched her lower lip, swollen and pink from her sobbing, continue to shake. "People have always underestimated me as some mealy-mouthed, naive, spineless little fool, but I am capable of anger, of frustration, of arrogance. Just like everybody else. And I was angry, frustrated, and arrogant today. I'm sorry for speaking so harshly to you because of how I felt. I had hoped you'd never see that side of me," he confessed apologetically, his gaze suddenly growing more intense and piercing as he was taken aback by how heartbreakingly beautiful and protected and safe she looked in his tight embrace.

Nienna tried to shake her head again in his hands that refused to relent their hold on her skin. "You were only speaking from your heart. I promise you didn't do anything wrong," her voice nothing more than a weak murmur. Geraldus tightened his grip on her face again, his fingers slippery from the dampness of her tears.

"I cannot lose you, Nienna. And I would never ask you to give up your oath of service to Ilmater. But please, please, let's figure out how we can try to keep you safer when you're taking on suffering. Promise that you'll stay here with me," he pleaded as he leaned down to rest his forehead on hers. "Please don't leave me to face this world alone, Nienna. I don't want to live this life, or any life, without you," his voice taking on a tone of desperation as he began openly weeping.

Nienna squeezed her eyes shut, pushing several large tears onto her cheeks, and she nodded earnestly before opening her eyes to him again. "I promise. I promise I'll do better." Her face contorted as a frail sob escaped her throat. "I don't want to live without you either." He whimpered slightly, tilting his head up to press a long, lingering kiss on her forehead, not caring about the blood on her skin that was being painted across his lips.

Still cupping her cheek with one hand, he brought his other hand up to comb his fingers down the length of her disheveled hair, getting caught in a large tangle along the nape of her neck that had formed in the chaos earlier that day.

"Can I take care of your hair?" he murmured with a gentle sweetness that made Nienna's heart ache from debilitating guilt. She grimaced and began wringing her hands together again, not feeling worthy of his care as much as she desperately longed for the sensation of his fingers running through her hair. "Geraldus, wait, I...I really hurt you today. I feel so guilty that you want to take care of me after that. I don't deserve…" she trailed off, the insecurity and shame palpable in her voice.

She stopped wringing her hands together and looked at him with curious desire as his fingers ever so slightly clenched into the strands of her hair after hearing her speak so deprecatingly about herself, and he began lightly stroking her lower lip with his thumb. "Stop, sweetheart. Please let me have this. Please," he begged lovingly, but with a tone of finality that left no room for further argument.

Nienna opened her mouth to protest, but the look in his exhausted, desperate gaze disarmed her and she decided to stay quiet, only gently nodding in response. Wordlessly, he decisively took her hand in his and led her towards the ladder to the loft and motioned to her to climb up, him following shortly after.

Nienna hesitantly waited in the corner of the room, shifting her weight back and forth between her feet as she watched Geraldus emerge from the ladder and step into the loft towards the tub, processing her emotions around this new side of him that had been, shockingly, more dominant and forthcoming, with an undertone of what felt to her like sweet, tender, careful possession.

It felt safe. She trusted him explicitly with every fragment of her mind, body, and soul, and after over one hundred years of fractured limbs, of choking on her own tortured blood, of crying alone in the darkness while desperately yearning for the comforting touch of another mortal, even just a reassuring pat on the shoulder, she needed, hopelessly needed, this side of him. A soothing warmth spread throughout her exhausted body as she recalled how beautifully seen she had felt underneath his firmer, unyielding touch.

Geraldus muttered Pluo with flourish of his hand over the tub, having grown confident in his ability to reliably cast a localized Create Water spell, and once the tub was ¾ of the way full, he placed an iron ingot into the water and cast Heat Metal, smirking proudly as almost instantaneously a warm, cozy steam began to waft in delicate swirls above the water's surface. He removed the ingot once it was cooler to the touch, and turned towards Nienna with a craving, yet gentle, look in his eyes.

Nienna's fingers traveled to the buttons of her robe along her chest, wincing as the roughness of the fabric threatened to reopen the cuts she had healed earlier that day, until Geraldus swiftly held up the palm of his hand in protest. "Stop," he murmured, with no vitriol and only the burning, primal desire to be protective of her. To show her the intensity of his devotion to a level in which he had never before allowed himself to express, having been fearful she had only fallen in love with the incomplete version of himself that he had felt comfortable showing the world, the nervous, meek, predictably docile Geraldus.

That fear had died somewhere within the depths of his soul that day, leaving only his most pure, unadulterated, unwavering trust in what they shared and the desire to show her exactly how much he worshiped her every breath.