#illmatic

I Am...The Autobiography is hip-hop's ultimate "what if?", on a par with Rakim's Oh My God. What is amazing is how much would have changed had it not been bootlegged. Nas would have gone from this grandiose double album, probably to a more stripped-down, instant album, good or bad. There would potentially have been no beef between him and Jay-Z, certainly making Nas's career trajectory very different. Needless to say, Steve Stoute wouldn't have been battered. While it was a part of Nas's peak years later on, there would be no Lost Tapes.

The fact that it's been such a "What If?" has been a fantastic part of hip-hop fandom since then, with fans scouring the released and unreleased to piece together what they think the original vision might have been. What we know is that the first half was Nas's semi-fictionalised life from birth to death, with the second chronicling his ascension and rebirth.

There is no 100% consensus of the original record's tracklist. We only know the songs that leaked, and that the album as a whole was not 100% finished. There's a huge range of theoretical playlists from hip-hop fans across the board.

So: since I've made a habit of it, I'll attempt to piece together a best-case scenario. I'll make a note of where each song ended up - if it was released - as well as the producers.

I will note that I detest double albums, and for me, the shorter the better. However, since this album was going to chronicle not only Nas's entire life, but his afterlife, I will give it a pass.

Side 1

1: Fetus (Belly Button Window) Prod: Poke & Tone (Trackmasters) The Lost Tapes

Well, obviously. Everyone agrees on this one, and it's a wonderful start. A creative, strangely evocative chronicle of Nas's time in the womb, where his love for his mum and conflicted relationship with his dad already come out.

2: Project Windows (Original) Prod: Nashiem Myrick & Carlos Broady Remixed By Trackmasters For Nastradamus

A wonderful song over a peaceful piano beat, with Ron Isley's vocals throughout setting the scene. Nas talks about what he observed through the eponymous project windows as a child, painting not only the formative images he witnessed, but his thoughts as a child trying to fill in the blanks.The version released onto Nastradamus is recognisably Trackmasters, with tinny drums dominating the original pianos, and it's nowhere near as good.

3: Poppa Was A Playa Prod: Kanye West The Lost Tapes

Another beautifully evocative song about how Nas realised his famous father was not the perfect father or husband. Tales of how he noticed his father's infidelity, heard arguments, and confronted him are very poignant.Whilst Nas's performance here would be great over a handclap, the fantastic, string-laden beat has a story of its own. Whilst D-Dot is credited as the main producer, it eventually emerged that Kanye had ghost-produced much of his work, which obviously caused a falling-out between the two.

4: N.Y. State Of Mind Part 2 Prod: DJ Premier I Am...

Over a peaceful DJ Premier beat with minor references to the original, Nas observes and narrates his own experiences much like Project Windows, but this time from the view of a teenager/young man. On the final album, with this name, it simply comes across as an unnecessary, inferior sequel to the original classic, so again like Project Windows, a lot of the nuance is lost.

5: Life Is What You Make It Prod: L.E.S. I Am...

In the last 4 tracks Nas has witnessed conflict in his friends and family, inequality, violence, and friends either going to jail or dying over money. His mentality as an adult comes together on this track, that no matter what, he's going to succeed. It is a bit odd to have DMX guesting on this when you take it in this context, but he's not at odds with the narrative, and it at least makes sense on the final album.

6: Small World Prod: Nashiem Myrick & Carlos Broady I Am...

Another intense song about the lessons Nas has learned from the world around him, this time caked with observation.

7: Blaze a 50 Prod: L.E.S. & Trackmasters The Lost Tapes

A fantastic narrative song that was deservedly praised when it arrived on The Lost Tapes years later. It hints at the tropes of gangsta & mafioso rap but is much, much better than the sum of its parts in that sense. The narrative is intense, never padded out with rambles or even a hook, and it speaks to just how compelling a writer Nas was at this point in his career.

8: Money Is My Bitch Prod: Alvin West & Trackmasters I Am...

In a lot of ways, it's not a great song; that's evident from the name, and arguably, the production credits. The metaphor here is absolutely nothing new and is well-worn nowadays; but most tracklists place it here and for good reason. It hints at the crossroads between Nas's lessons learnt, and his success in life, and also the paranoia that comes with the life he's chosen.

9: Daydreaming, Stay Scheming Prod: Unknown Unreleased

The first track to fall victim to the album's bootlegging. It's a low-key, sensitive track that once again covers themes of paranoia, but in a very different way. He also interpolates Kurtis Blow's "Daydreaming", which somehow works.

10: The Hardest Thing To Do Is Stay Alive Prod: Trackmasters Unreleased

Another unreleased song, which is a huge shame; it tells an intense crime narrative that is deftly woven, and evocative much like the rest of the album, and there's little padding.

11: Sometimes I Wonder Prod: Trackmasters Unreleased

Unfortunately, this one also went unreleased, and it's an example of Trackmasters at their best, with even Nas's mate Nature dropping a verse that's good enough. It's another depiction of the life the protagonist has gotten himself into that doesn't glamourise it, and instead muses whether his friends would betray him if it suited then.

12: Drunk By Myself Prod: Al West & Trackmasters The Lost Tapes

Another great narrative song, full of guilt, depression and self-reflection. One of his most acclaimed from this era, and a good reason the Lost Tapes was such a revelation.

13: Undying Love Prod: L.E.S. I Am...

A fantastic narrative about the leadup to Nas's death, the sudden realisation that the fast life has caught up to him, and his desperate attempts to atone. Without meaning to repeat myself, it's completely lost on the eventual released album - while still a brilliant narrative, it's a fantastic end to the album.

Side 2

1: After Life (2nd Chance) Prod: Nas Unreleased

To call this a skit would belittle the work Nas obviously put into there being an actual narrative. With a mournful backdrop, Nas begs for another chance and prays desperately. Brilliant stuff and the only "skit" I can think of that is absolutely vital to an album. Apart from Wu-Tang's "Torture", obviously, which is just as poignant.

2: Amongst Kings Prod: Unknown Unreleased

Probably the best song on the entire album, and it's absolutely criminal that the album went unreleased on this evidence alone. To put it briefly, it's about Nas's rebirth into "Nastradamus", but it's a brilliant narrative that doesn't need to fall back on tired mafioso tropes, and is not only creative but compelling.

3: God Love Us Prod: Dame Grease Nastradamus

A mournful, yet positive song observing everyone with similar lives, and, whilst detailing his own death and rebirth, reminds them that God loves them. I notice that a lot of tracklists place this later on, but to me it can only make sense here.

4: Life We Chose Prod: L.E.S. Nastradamus

An underrated song, essentially an acceptance of the inherent risks of constantly seeking money through any means necessary.

5: Ghetto Prisoners Prod: Dame Grease I Am...

It's a running theme for this side, but Nas speaks to people from the ghettos and imparts his wisdom. Crucially, there's a religious theme running through it.

6: Some of Us Have Angels Prod: Dame Grease Nastradamus

Another reflective, observational song that fits perfectly on this side; the beat isn't the best but it remains a great song, almost the inverse of Project Windows.

7: Nas Is Like Prod: DJ Premier I Am...

As it's generally accepted that Side 2 wasn't completed at the time of the album's cancellation, most tracklists make as much of the narrative as they can, but generally fill it with positivity. 

While it's unlikely that this song was on the original release, no tracklist leaves this off, and neither will I. There's little to be said about this incredible song that hasn't already, but the mood of it is such that it makes sense. Plus, it's a great contender for a single.

8: We Will Survive Prod: Trackmasters I Am...

A touching, sincere tribute from Nas to Notorious B.IG. and 2Pac. Despite having issues with both in their lifetimes, it speaks on them not only as people but as rappers and huge cultural influences, just 3 years after their untimely deaths.

9: U Gotta Love It Prod: L.E.S. The Lost Tapes

More world-building than actual narrative compared to the rest of album, it's still a great song that needs to be on here. He references being an artist that's returned to the hood, and feeling the same paranoia that has been a theme.

10: Find Ya Wealth Prod: L.E.S. QB's Finest

This strangely ended up on his label showcase - which is a shame, as it would have fit well here. A typically soulful L.E.S. beat allows Nas to wax lyrical and play the prophet once again, but with a sense of pride and defiance that has been unusual through side 2.

I also considered "Tales Of The Hood" here - but for me it was just a little too unrefined, and the beat is not the best.

11: My Worst Enemy Prod: Infinite Arkatechz Unreleased

Normally placed at the end in others' tracklists, but not for me. It's a good song and relatively introspective, with a similar vibe to the previous track. Despite it being a staple of fan constructions, there is actually some dispute over whether it was intended for this album; to me it makes good much sense thematically to leave it off, but not as a closer.

12: Rise & Fall Prod: Trackmasters Unreleased

A wonderfully sensitive, self-reflective song that blurs the lines between the Nastradamus subject and the real-life Nas, with genuine emotion. Also a great Trackmasters beat, and any song that samples Slick Rick is 5 mics in my book.

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I have tried to keep it as tight as a double album possibly could be; with two distinct themes originally intended, this was relatively easy. There were quite a few left on the table, however. For instance, though "A Favour For A Favour" (I Am...) and "Wanna Play Rough" (Unreleased) are often cited, I find them to be disposable mafioso rap songs that are better-suited to what I Am... eventually became.

In 2023, what was touted as the original, intended album was released on vinyl for record store day. Rather than being the final, narrative double album, it was simply a list of the songs that were leaked, most of them already released on official albums. 

What has always shocked me is that "Dr. Knockboot", one of Nas's absolute worst songs, was actually part of these leaks. It's basically "Sex According To The Prince Of Darkness", but with hideous squelchy bass, and a healthy dose of misogyny. The thought of this track being alongside "Amongst Kings" boggles the mind.

Either way; whether it would end up as Nas's second-best album is up for debate. Illmatic introduced the world to Nas's unmatched technique and metaphor-heavy style, but the arguable high points of that album were narrative-based.

In 1994, Nas had just released the greatest hip-hop album ever. Albums had gotten 5 mics in the Source and universal acclaim before, but none had been declared to be perfect universally. It's notoriously hard to get hip-hop heads to agree, but apart from the odd 2020s contrarian, everyone knows the value of this album. Technique, insight, wit, production, structure, levity: it had everything. Nas was no longer a brilliant up-and-comer; he was the best.

Which brought the obvious problem with it: if Illmatic was really perfect, then it can only be downhill from there. Two years later came It Was Written, and it was one of the most divisive albums ever. 20 years after its release, people still dispute whether it lives up to the promise of Illmatic, and whether it was even intended to. In production terms, it arguably aimed for a wider audience. There was no sign of Large Professor on the boards; in fact, much of it was anchored by Trackmasters who, 4 years after their work with Big Daddy Kane, had developed into an instant, marketable sound. They worked on Street Dreams, which some swear by, but is for me one of the most overrated Nas songs ever. A tinny beat and Nas's appalling interpolations of the Eurythmics on the hook doesn't sound like anything off Illmatic but again, in fairness, is obviously not supposed to. The other obvious single is another interpolation - this time, Kurtis Blow's "If I Ruled The World" on, er, "If I Ruled The World". Bonus points for a Lauryn Hill feature, though.

Another theme also hinted at a lack of inspiration, but could not be put down to commercial aspirations. Nas had guested on Raekwon's classic Only Built 4 Cuban Linx... the year prior. Most would call it the Wu-Tang Clan's best release of all, and its influence cannot be overstated. It played into a mafioso theme throughout, immediately making it stand out. Arguably, it was not the progenitor - that would be Kool G Rap years prior - but it made the genre a hip-hop staple for the next 3 years.

The album was never less than compelling, carrying the theme for 17 consistently imaginative tracks without sounding stretched. However, the album's sheer influence made sure it was stretched as thin as possible.

Some acclaimed albums of the time used the theme to great effect: Jay-Z's Reasonable Doubt, AZ's Doe or Die and Notorious B.I.G.'s Life After Death. Ironically, Raekwon referred to the latter's theft of their style on "Cuban Linx...", resulting in a diss to both he and Nas on "Kick In The Door". Unfortunately Nas used it constantly on It Was Written, and damaged his reputation further by making him seem less like the influential genius of "Illmatic", and more like a follower latching onto trends. He did maturely own up to this years later on the acclaimed "Last Real N____ Alive".

The album did what it set out to do, hitting #1 on the Billboard charts. However, his credibility as an artist was damaged. After working with Dr. Dre on the album, he did so again with the next year's group album "The Firm", with Dre, AZ and Foxy Brown. It included the absolutely stellar "Phone Tap", justifying the mafioso theme on its own, and the somewhat less stellar "Firm Biz". That project was a shrug-inducing side project that did nothing to indicate any artistic growth. Therefore, Nas needed either to get some massive hits or show that the artist was still in there. In the end, he did both.

In 1999, Nas planned a grand work for his next album. It was about as far away from the mainstream audience as was possible: a visionary high concept double-album that consisted of the self-reflective, the outright autobiographical, and the narrative. Had it been released, good or not, it would have painted Nas as the artist rather than the hitmaker.

Other famous double albums had been released in the last 3 years; in fact, they were hugely famous, and 3 of the most successful hip-hop albums ever. Both 2Pac's All Eyez On Me and Notorious B.I.G.'s posthumous Life After Death went diamond, and Wu-Tang Clan's long-awaited Wu-Tang Forever also did huge numbers. But this was not only a double album - it was a concept album.

In 1998, a bootleg version of the album - seemingly the first disc - was leaked to the internet. This caused a gigantic shift. Nas scrambled to write new material, and ended up splitting the album into 2, both released the same year. The narrative aspect was dropped entirely, with some songs being left on the releases, and some songs making it onto a 2002 compilation named The Lost Tapes. The fact that this remains one of his most acclaimed works is already a glimpse of what could have been.

The 2 albums themselves were not so acclaimed. First release I Am... was a mess of interesting songs, some of his best work, and blatant grasps for a hit. The album cover is another glimpse at a classic; It was stylised in the same way as his previous albums, with a portrait of Nas growing from a child (Illmatic), to a young man (It Was Written), to an Egyptian Pharaoh - an absolutely obvious metaphor for his growth as an artist, and one that would've made much sense on the original album.

A famous story also covers what happened at the photoshoot and is both amazing and shocking in retrospect, especially with the technology available in 2026. The mask was moulded to Nas's face and made out of clay - air holes were poked in so he could breath, but with his mouth clamped shut, dried clay got into his nose. He couldn't breathe for around 2 minutes and nearly died. Of course, as an artist, when broken out of it his immediate response was, apparently, "Let's do it again!".

The album itself consisted of a lot of work reportedly planned for the original project, alongside grand Timbaland and Aaliyah collaboration "You Won't See Me Tonight" and a huge hit in the P.Diddy collaboration "Hate Me Now". The video is famous for Diddy being nailed to a cross. While it was his idea, he changed his mind and ended up battering record exec Steve Stoute half to death when it was released unchanged. In 2026, it's strange to think of him being fussed about Christian morality, but never mind.

Later in the year came Nastradamus. Whilst I Am... ran the gamut between the great and the bad, Nastradamus was middling at best. Even Nas's most fervent fans regard this as his weakest, but it is important to take in context. If it had been marketed as a load of thrown-together b-sides, bonus tracks and bootlegged songs, it might be more loved in retrospect.