#ihafl

JX1DX1 for oomf!!!!!

The already terrible waters of the Vast turn ice cold as they approach the island formerly known as Snowball Brawl 2-

"-and it's now called Icicle Assault, why? Got a whole lot of no ideas on it."

"It's Jake, his affinity for dumb names seemingly hasn't stopped after the Collapse."

Gunhound clicks her tongue

"There's that British again, also, you guys got a name for that thing?"

"..That's..A long story, I am but one of the many voices in this bodies head, the closest to a "name" that I have would be Guest 666, as I am a simulacra of the tale."

"Funky. Say when'd the name get made?"

"A creation of StamperTown's to my knowledge?"

"Ah'll be honest, what."

"It's-"

"Yea, a long story, I can tell."

"Go on down to the rest of the kids, I gotta focus on steering."

Guest internally shrugs, turning around and hopping down to the lower decks, it's cramped yet strangely comfortable.. Things seem to be clanking and ticking from bellow and around them, what would be in the walls and floor.

Fumbling the cat out of his hood, he sits down on one of the lounge chairs.

"So. What have you all been discussing."

"Remember that time that Dragon drank so much milk that he vomited all over Omega?"

"What the fuck."

"Clear as day!"

"From what I heard about Dragon, sounds about right!"

Guest just twitches, yeah sure, he'll accept that, why not.

Brandon shimmies on over, petting the free model cat.

As they chat and goof off, something bangs against the floor from inside it, and out pour a small squad of metal menaces.

Made of blackest iron, swords glistening with crimson, no eyes to speak of, shields without dents, covered in the lost souls of their victims.

Clunky yet sharp looking, their seeming leader has a crest on its helmet.

Without flinching, 666 throws model right at one of the bot's(?) cranium, the cat detonating on impact, leaving it unscathed.

It charges at the boy of stone, swinging its blade and missing, but swiping his grin clean off with a punch, taking multiple of his teeth with it.

The Rumor quickly takes action, sneaking behind the thing and snapping its neck off.

"That's two."

"You only-"

Niko says, holding his jaw in pain as Sixer kicks the head into the chassis of another.

"Wait! KOBE!"

Brandon quickly throws down a lightbin and tosses the damaged bot into it from across the room, metal scraps shooting out of the white box as it's blended by the thing.

"Strike!idontplaybasketball"

The crested "robot" launches its sword at the poor ornithologist, missing and stabbing through the wall, distant barks of worry being heard.

It pulls out another blade and gets promptly dismantled by Lulz that turn it into nothing more than charred ash.

"....Was that not overkill??"

"Nah."

The last 3 robots foolishly decide to attack Aubree at the same time, all of them swinging at her at once before quickly falling to the might of the Illumina.

The boat finally stops, the hound having a rightfully worried face from all of this chaos.

"Ok, all of you need to get out, now. This damn crusty boat's gonna sink with all of the holes in it."

Once they arrive, they spot a small brick built tower, a computer on the fritz in it, it's playing a horribly scuffed audio file;

"T̶̲͂h̴̨̺͛̈́e̸̘͉͌̀̌̓͆r̸͍̳͔̥̃e̸̟͍͍͌͋̐̒̌'̵̨̮̰͍̓́̕s̸̖̏͝ ̵̹̝̗̺͓̊̀̓̔͘a̷̰̒ ̷̻̏ͅd̶̻͑̾̄͂̚e̵̛̪̳̖͋͊͋ͅe̶̘͎͌̄p̵̣͈̼͈̥͗͗̀͒ ̴̧͍̌̉̆p̴̧̗͇̚i̸͖̞͍̜̇̇̒t̷͙̮̀ ̵̤̮͛̄̎s̶͕̘̝̰̻̈́͊ó̴̮̖̳̙͈̾̀͋̉m̵̢̝̌̏̌̀̍e̴̡͕̼̭̻̓̽̐̒͘ẅ̵͔́h̴̛̩͗̄̔͐e̷̩̼̺̅̋͝r̴̢̻̚ē̶̢̹̇ ̴̨̹̱̈̈̑̚h̴̝̄͋́͜ȩ̸̦̅̍̎̍r̴̰̮̠̀e̵̛̫̠͍̜͚͌͛̇,̶̳̳͎̤̌̀̋ ̷̧̗͉̱̦̽̎͑̔̓I̸̢͓̮͈͊̿͜ ̷̹͈̅̈́́t̶̨̺̜̒͝h̵̛̝i̷̗͂̀n̶͖̯̟̜̈́͊́̍k̷͚̰̳̒͒͆̀ ̴̧̈́̚i̴̙̭̱͍̥͛̌̔͘͝t̵͇̃̾͒̎͝'̴̤̹̌̅̃͘s̴̙͈͓͋͆ ̶͖̻͎̂͗c̶͈͙͚͉̻͐̎o̷̧̢͖̺̅̏̑͛̋n̷̻̩̥̣̂͛̾n̶̝̋͑e̶͚̬͇͕͐̊c̷̘̓̑̕̕t̴̠̘̍͋͜͠ẽ̴̼̞̠́d̵̳̼̀̽̌̑͘ ̷̪͇͋̈́͐͝t̷̡̢̮͈̭̾͗̇́̉o̴̦͔͑̇̉̍̋ ̷̖́̈́͝ṭ̴̓̿̆͂̚ḩ̶̼͇̿̍͛̓͠a̴̠͔̘̙͍̍͛t̷̜͊͌̀̋ ̷͎̹̼̫̈́̉d̷̼͆̀̈́͐̏è̴̡̦̟͋å̸̛͙͎͇̃d̸̰̖͈̰̔ ̷͎̟͒́͛̿f̶̱̳͇̖̟͌ọ̴̤̝̼̤̊r̵̜̝̬͛̈́̃e̵̱̳̰̺̍͌͑̉͠s̶̨͍̳͗ț̶̟͙͉̉̊̊?̸̢̖͓̣͔̀̋ ̶͚̠͇̀̉ͅA̸̧̪͓̗̾̈́̈n̴̢̝͚̂̈́̏̃̀y̸̫̻̒ͅw̷͍͗͋͑͂ầ̸̯̕͠y̷͙͓̻̟̦̿ ̵͈̺̊̅̀͆ş̴̹͕̲̍͊̑ţ̵̧͔́͝͝a̷͉͂͐̅̃͠y̷̡̢͙̰̓ ̷̲̳͊̆͛̈a̸̛̺̭͌̾͘̚ͅw̵̦͘ȃ̶̚͠ͅy̶̫̯̺̓̈́,̶̦͓͊̂̊̈́̕ ̷̧̏͘t̵̟̝̳͉̞̓̋̎͆͝h̷̘̺͍̔̐ḛ̴͕̺̆̒́̂͠r̶̨̟͇̞̉͐̈́͒͋e̶͇̤̥̲̍̑̾̽'̵͉͐̓̇š̸̡̙̹͜ ̴̫̀s̶̛͓̒̔̀o̷̳̣͆̈́͐m̸̮̮͕̙͎̿̇͛̆e̸̺͋̈́͐́͝ͅo̷̐̆̒̚͜͝ņ̵͘͝ḛ̴̡̠̆͋̚͜ͅ ̷̟̿͛̈́̅I̶̮͖̔̋͂̓́ ̵͉̌̌͋̀̚ẅ̴̱͔̗̠̚ä̷̪̥̣̞́̾n̸̫̊̉̔͌̚t̴̬̥̗̭̃̑̇̌ ̸͇̩̤̑̈́f̷͉̲̫̈́͌ŏ̸̧̟̈́͒͛r̶̛̹͚͓̞̍̿͌̀ģ̸̈͆͑̆͠o̵̧̖̘͐͛t̴̥͗͝ṱ̸̢̡́͜ͅẻ̵̛͎̳̘̘̩̆͑n̷̢̪̉̈́͜ ̴̦̟̬̫̙̒̀̂ă̴̧̹͗ͅn̶̟̣̏͗̏̿̕d̶̡̼̋ ̶̰̞͓̬̮̃͌̂͠͠ȃ̷̡̪̎́ͅ ̴̧͉̖̥̻̕ẅ̸̯́͐̽̇ę̸͖͆̌̌̓į̵̠̳̭̕͜r̴͓͙͙̪̈̾͜d̷̨̡͇͓̀̉͊̌̀ ̴̭͆̿ͅa̷̤̤̙̘͛͐̒̋̒ş̴̫̤̰͓́s̷̲͉͖͒͗̎ ̶̻̰͇͑̕r̶̫͉̮̀͌̿̂͝á̸̱͙̭͇͠͝ţ̶̻̮͠ ̷̥̀d̸͙̎͆͝ŏ̷̗̟͑͗͂w̵̡̾ń̶̗̖͇̀́̃͌ ̶̨̛̲̰͍̼̓t̵̪́́̒h̴̳͙͈̎̈́̑́͘e̵̢͍̘͉̲͂̓̿̀͒r̵̨̖̓͜e̷̹̦̽̃.̶̮͉͇͗̊"

He chuckles as the audio file ends.

"Anyway, where are we going this time?"

Something sparkles in the distance, originating from a large figure with a hardhat and tendrils.

If you can’t find said tweet about the rules changing, then here, i’ll hand it to you. Have a good day. or night.

https://x.com/ihasafacelulz/status/1957903199756775766?s=46

> I_was_unaware_of_this,thanx_sm_4_providing_me_with_this_info_and_being_respectful❗❗Smh_i_wonder_how_this_just_passed_me_by;

> From_now_on_I'll_stop_selfshipping_with_JX1,and_i_sincerely_apologize_for_making_others_uncomfortable;

learning photoshop rn, made this as a small project for fun (img below cut)

As the Entities converse down in Bartender's bar, Collector raises its hand to state something.

"My eyes have spotted a recent change, our targets have headed to the Eternal StawBerry Fields."

"HELL NO. I AINT GOING THERE!"

Crash Dummy states with utmost passion.

"I.am.never.going.there.again."

Jx1dx1 says, petrified in horror.

"Even if Kyle was there on that island, I'd rather dip my teapot into lava and try and drink the remaining sludge!"

Bartender yells in rage.

Passerine was calmly tending to their house, reading a book on birding and petting their own pet hawk.

However, right as they are getting into the good part , Ol' Sammy calls them.

Brandon got...ROCKET LAUNCHERS??? Welp. No time to learn how to action movie like the present.

Pass' runs out of their house, he always joked of it looking like a bird house, they guess he's right...RIGHT, THE CHILD.

They spring and sprint across ST, finding him on the edge of the walls of the city.

"..Hey...Kid..Why are you,"

They huff from the sprinting.

"ON THE WALLS??"

"Oh, whoops, lol. I, uhh, got too into it."

"Do you know how to ge-"

Passerine gets interrupted mid sentence by him just..jumping off the nearly 12 stud tall wall.

"You good? Intact?"

"Yea! Besides, this old thing has been jumping off cliffs taller than that old pile of bricks for a while!"

He gestures to himself, like an object, for some reason.

They quiver in their own boots, what the fuck has this kid been doing??? Who?-No-WHAT LETS HIM DO THAT??

"Who let you do any of that?"

"Noli! Guest called her uncle Noli. Weird space guy with a cool mask and suit."

Ah, Noli, yeah Pass remembers Sam talking about this kid knowing Noli.

"I'm gonna be honest. I just think of Noli as that purple loser from Forsaken."

"What's that?"

"....Game where you run from a killer..I guess? There's a lot to it. Noli's in it is the point."

"So did they manage to-"

"No. It's not the actual Noli in there. I get you though, I'd been worrying if I knew them."

Passerine gestures for Brandon to pull out his stamper tool so he can fix all of the damn holes he made from rocket jumping.

Just as they swing their hand, the boy's voicebox starts acting up.

"Helllooo? You there, Brandy?"

The speaker sounds like garbled nonsense, but the words come through!

"SIXER! How's it been?"

Pass does not know who this is at all. All they know is it being that kid who came here a couple months back.

"We've found The Eternal Strawberry Fields. Go get Mr. Sammy. We want you here, too."

Passerine ponders something, could they get more food from there? Yes, using Drako meat is letting them get by, but DrakoPillars and such suck alongside the bird problem they have..

"I HEARD THAT(SOMEHOW). BOTH OF YOU ARE ALLOWED TO GO."

Sammy shouts from across the small village.

"Let me in the damn spyglass or I take your xbox privileges."

"Sorry, sorry. Here. Let's see if your theory is right."

A "bzoop" sound follows the voices from the box.

"bOOOOO Imma gohst!!11!!"

A couple of chuckles could be heard from it after that quip.

"Go to the edge of the island, I'll be at genericus soon!"

The communication device cuts out.

Passerine pilfers their home for whatever they could need, never really prepared for such a sudden trip.

Brandon, on the other hand, just..sits there.

Pass looks at the kid, questioning why he's just standing there.

Brandon juts up, before putting his hand on his chin

"The bus(?!) is coming in two minutes, get ready!"

A snort comes from the other side of Brandon's speaker.

"Stop that! Hehe.."

Says a voice slightly different than the last? Albeit, sounded like the same set of vocal cords,with a Brooklyn accent, too??

Oh, right. Yeah they get it. Plurality.

"Ok, we'll be there in a jify!"

And so the pair mosey on down, down through the deep forest they've nestled in, through the dangerous fauna, strangely explosive flora.

They find the bus, docked on the island's edge. It contains a set of children(and one weird green thing), from tallest to shortest:

A rabbit girl, her ears marked with what appears to be blood? Not to mention how her face is censored by a blue box. No matter what way she turns, she remains faceless.

The next is french, they don't bother observing them more.

A ghost-thing flies around the bus, seemingly tied to a magnifying glass. They wear a dominus, leather jacket, and jeans. From looks alone, they seem to be an asshole, the silver shine of their dominus reflecting Passerine's face right back at them.

"Hey. You here for the kid?"

"Here for the food source, actually."

"Couldn't have guessed."

Passerine looks at the ghost and ponders something...Egg?

The final person seemed small, below average height. They wear a red and black trench coat, baseball cap with a red R on it, their mouth looks funky.

Oh yeah, they need to introduce themself.

"I'm Passerine, local bird expert, I like being nonbinary..?"

They say it with a questioning tone, unsure if they'd throw rocks at them or something.

"Oh like noli."

"-like that ol' bot?"

"Did the brain cell jump from lulz's skull to yours?"

Passerine chuckles, "So I think you're all Brandon's friends? Correct?"

"Nope."

"Heard of him before, but that's from old red hat."

"So we goin' or not?"

The coated one grips the steering wheel.

Passerine nods, hopping aboard, Brandon following.

The bus is strangely comfortable, and large.

They spot the lack of a god damn key, in place of it sits a rip cord??? For some reason?????

"Get seated folks! We've got one hell of a show, the next stop's THE ETERNAL STRAWBERRY FIELDS!"

They slam the gas pedal while pulling the rip cord, the bus being sent bloody flying, everyone else sitting calmly in their seats and Brandon and Pass are thrown around like rag dolls, thankfully managing to grab onto the seats and sit down.

"..does this whole place run on roblox physics...?"

"Yup."

A thought pops into Passerines head, normally would be a joke but, should they forcefem the ghost?

.....They're imagining it.

"Hey, you look focused, why?"

"..I-uh-Wanna gender their bender."

They say while looking at the ghost.

"Oh dude same. Can she just like be a girl already?"

"..What's your name and...are you a girl?"

"Aubree and yes."

"-We're you always one?"

While Passerine knows Brandon's woke, they do not know the woke levels of his friends, so they're trying to throw in questions that could be seen by the cishet white man and have him not blink.

"No. Found out a little bit ago."

THEY'RE IN THE CLEAR, THEY'RE TALKING TO A TGIRL.

"There's not much to know about me. I lik roblo."

"Same here!"

"Since we're doing intros, the name's Niko! And you're watching-!" "ROBLOX MYTHBUSTERS!"

"..Dude.."

Niko says starstruck at the ghost, it fist bumps him and moves on.

"I'm the hacker, helper, name is not needed since I can just disappear into the SHADE."

"-Helps me out whenever needed."

So just as Pass' is getting acquainted with these people, they realize they're like 200 feet in the air on the bus from spirited away.

It crashes back down into the water, making a splash.

Somehow it continues across the water, waves crashing as they speed along.

Passerine starts staring out the window, the waves calming them down from such a crazy situation...Seriously how did they get in Roblox Hell from a virus link?

All the meanwhile, Brandon is chatting with Niko.

"I love HeliWars! It was always so fun getting together and pushing the enemy side or goofing off in the cars lol."

"I played it a couple times, it's nice,"

He says while leaning back on his seat.

"You know, I wonder if we'll ever get to play roblox again."

"If so Idc. It's been good, but without friends, roblox feels sour to me now."

Her eyes shift.

"Besides, I've been hurt too much by It."

"..Right. that..How'd you even get here?"

"I'd rather not."

From that everything goes a bit quiet.

The stone kid falls asleep.

"Did he theorize too hard?"

Shadez laughs to himself.

The waves hit the rocks like how thoughts shake around Passerine's head.

Because of this Pass sort of short circuits. Unsure what to do, they just pull out a picture of their hawk and start yapping, surely someone will listen.

Brandon does, listening in awe.

"..-Because of this I managed to figure out their clutch size and it's about 3-4 eggs, matting season seems to be about spring, however with the Vast being like it is, it seems year round here..."

The education ends as Guest booms:

"ALL ABOARD, WE'VE REACHED OUR STOP!"

They pile out of the bus, the terrain rocky and overall uneven, they manage to set up a small camp.

Guest prepares a pot of his favorite sauce.

"..So what should we even call the species, Because It does not have a name yet."

"Stud Blinded Hawks!"

Pass' looks impressed at the name, unsure how they didn't figure it out themselves.

Passerine yawns, slinking into their sleeping bag.

They look up at the stars and feel unease....They swear they can see a figure rocketing off in the distance.