#id.nightmare

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: N/A CURRENT AGE: 25 DEBUT AGE: 23 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 22 COMPANY: Koala T. SECONDARY SKILL: N/A

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): N/A INSPIRATION: None other but the old man himself for raising her with an impeccable work ethic, even if he hates the line of work his only daughter is involved in. It’s managed to get her this far, and if that isn’t something, she doesn’t know what is.   SPECIAL TALENTS:

Can shove her whole fist into her mouth.

Take perfectly angled selfies with her feet.

Demonstrate various taekwondo moves.

NOTABLE FACTS:

Her father is a high ranking officer of the ROK Air Force. 

Particularly skilled in sports as a child: Yura received her first rank black belt at the age of 15; outside of her martial arts focus, she dabbled in track and field as well as basketball.

Graduated from the Korea National Sport University with a Physical Education degree in 2015.

Knows a couple of the well-touted members of the performance demo group, K-Tigers. 

Has her motorcycle license.

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

Increased exposure of Nightmare as a whole through their sub-units. They’re not her cup of tea, but at this point, it’s no brainer that KTM is sharpshooting in hopes that something, anything, will stick and hit bullseye. Once it does, there’ll be relief in going back to the original game plan because that’s what Yura has become comfortable with. She’s been going with the flow since debut, and has no plans of going against the current for now.

Quit sittin’ pretty, because the rest of her members are beginning to make moves into other areas, while she has nothing more but Nightmare activities on her repertoire. Insecure? Hardly, when it only guarantees more free time, but the job description says girl idol, not girl idle, and she signed up for this to do something different, and not nothing at all. Can girl group members moonlight as stuntswomen? She’s beginning to consider it more by the day lately.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

To ride out Nightmare’s name until she has nothing more but her own to rely on, then fade out into the blissful obscurity that is life away from the stage. Being an idol has never been her first, center, or last resort, not when she’d accepted the offer only as a chance to weasel her way out from a restricted, rigid sort of life for however long she can. The idea of eventually being billed as an “action star” down the road started off as a joke-to-self, but with her athletic abilities and with her idol lookalike now cushy in the Chungmuro film industry, maybe it can amount to something a little more serious than that. Safe to say though Yura hasn’t decided just yet, and if all else fails, there’s no problem in working up to finally receiving her 9th rank in taekwondo and / or marrying the model air force officer Daddy Dearest will pick out for her.  

IDOL IMAGE

Knifelike. That’s a good word. The proper word. Down to the teeth of something animal, the line of her jaw, to how her gaze can cut through crowds. Precision, glint, and edge all wrapped into two syllables. Being raised by a military man did her well in that respect, discipline with the square shoulders and a straight spine. Smoke and mirrors are nonexistent in the face of the cold, cold metal. She prefers to leave that up to the other members anyway, as the oldest, and the most unconcerned.

This translates on-stage to: a piercing gaze, sharp moves, a woman unsettled rather than some soft, wicked thing. Power and aggression in each pulse that is impossible to look away from. At the same time, it’s intimidation in spades that can create a sharp divide between themselves and the ones they want to draw in. Which is why show performances and variety appearances are two vastly different rodeos. It’s during the latter, free from dark makeup and costumes, when the comments resurface ( “From that idol group-” “You look just like her, she’s beautiful-” ), which, eerie sense of impostor syndrome aside, she takes without question. For the questions that are raised her way however, Yura keeps things pointed and to the point. Nothing more, nothing less, not because she’s shy, but she knows action always speaks louder than words. So where they cease to exist, she goes above and beyond in being a doer, be it through physical stunts or her avid participation in activities ( no matter how ridiculous ) without complaint.

Off-stage, there isn’t a lot of deviation. She talks little, works more, cruises the most. Doesn’t actively seek people, but takes initiative in leaving some bite of an impression, then doesn’t do much to keep them around. Desperation, hunger, for any of these things the others strive for ( fame, attention, money, love ) feel terribly insignificant; more distractions than direct pathways to a solid destination. Coming from a girl who’s only here for a good time, and not a long one, she’s fairly content with simply seeing this to the very end.

Some noted characters quirks include: Being inactive on social media ( to the point where even their manager has to remind her to post things come promotion time ), never seen to slouch or soften up, and seemingly having an odd aversion to skirts.

IDOL HISTORY

I.

There’s little to life but family. Correction: family is all there is to it. Appa, oppa and baby girl in their well-to-do house in a well-to-do neighborhood in Haeundae-gu, contained and without contempt in the countless ways they mean the world to each other. Ironic, what with a wide ocean view from their windows and a patriarch who’d made a living solely off of flight, but one’s scope is always small from the start. Lullabies, plucked strings, film reels, none of these are woven into Yura’s childhood. Square and center in all early memories sits a round table made of dark elm. As plates were passed along, so were lessons. Shoulders level. Hands crossed over the lap. Chin at that angle. That’s my girl.

II.

A fine line exists between control and discipline. At first, she only learns this because she has to, but soon embraces it in body, mind and spirit. For over a decade, athletics is the forefront of her focus—not dream, mind you—and with the way she pushed forward, the chances of it becoming a formidable future were high. Pressure mounted, never all at once, but just enough for her to feel it with each passing year. Apparently love and passion is supposed to be part of the picture, but all Yura ever feels at the end of each match is the hard pounding in her ears and the wet sheen of sweat at her brow as gold is pressed into her hands. Devotion is practically sewn into every nerve and muscle, but it’s all it ever is. Skin-deep. Physical.

With age, the word “beauty” remains skin-deep as well. Puberty and good genes does wonders, but the pool of pretty people is only so wide. Overlap is expected in hindsight, then, but she doesn’t expect it to include her. The first time someone tells her, Yura admits she doesn’t think the same. The second, that she’s heard that before. It only multiplies and expands from there, with a dash of sweet talk and awe, to the point where it’s deemed fact for her. And of course, there’s the staring. Little does she know that this is  only prep-work for what it’s going to be like all the time.

III.

Inertia stays for as long as one allows it to. Physics allows that much. A uniform, routinely life is fine for the first ten, fifteen, and even twenty years, but somewhere the monotony of it all brings out the first swell of exhaustion. Family, school, sports, then family again; with each rotation, the impulse is harder to fight. Indifference to losses by the first year. A switch to the Phys Ed. department by her second. Trysts found a dime a dozen by her third, through people, places. Positions. An early existential crisis, or a belated attempt at teenage rebellion? Neither actually, not even close. She just wants to move differently, feel what it’s like because it’s all starting to get a little old and she craves a change of pace. It’s that simple.

Luckily for her, the first opportunity wasn’t anything less questionable but a recruiting offer from Koala.T, who’d seen her face on the street in her post-graduated state and conjured the same thought that countless others have made. Of course, making an impulsive decision is always the easy part. Explaining it later that night would be the uphill battle none of the Nams would have seen coming.

IV.

No, she’s not the best. The important thing here is that she’s not entirely the worst, either—for someone who doesn’t have a single artistically inclined bone in her body, that’s not too shabby. Having physical strength, agility, and reflexes has its positives; channeling those assets into dancing, then continuing to improve with time has her getting favorable marks during trainee evaluations eventually. Singing ( to this day ) remains passably decent—so long her voice stays well within its lower range.

It helps that she’s not here to win, not when she’s led a whole twenty-something years dedicated to the idea. It also helps there’s no sweat in being watched, criticized with every blink of an eye. She’s been there too. Despite it all being intense and laborious like trainee life is touted to be, it’s the newness of it Yura marvels at. Everything else is only a matter of adjustment.

V.

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: N/A CURRENT AGE: 22 DEBUT AGE: 21 TRAINEE SINCE AGE:19 COMPANY: Koala.T SECONDARY SKILL: N/A

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): queen bee ( 여왕벌 )  / fans and friends alike have given her this name due to her ability to create trends within the coven, as well as for her confident ‘cool girl’ persona. ahin-cream ( 아인크림 )  / a play on the word ‘ice cream’ that’s been given to her due to her cold look, yet delightful personality and vibe she gives off. INSPIRATION: ahin often states that her inspiration for chasing the idol life was to be a role model for girls everywhere; one who preaches the importance of self-love and self-care to her devotees, and while that’s true to a degree, the real reason she wants this public platform was to gain attention and seek revenge; to finally become the popular girl that’s often the envy of all. SPECIAL TALENTS:

makeup artistry / ahin is a self-taught makeup aficionado of glamorous, all-natural, and special effects looks. before making her début, she was always in charge of readying her little brothers for halloween, and now that she’s a public figure, posts her work on instagram and her youtube channel, too. she’s extremely particular and often insists that she does her own face whenever nightmare makes appearances on television or has fan-meetings. if she weren’t an idol, she’s said she’d want to be a full time mua.

calligraphy / in her downtime, especially during her school years, ahin thoroughly studied calligraphy and has a knack for it in a variety of languages whether she can speak them, or not. aesthetics are important to her, so she even makes sure that her handwriting is stunning and neat. autographs from her are truly an art-form.

fluency in english / being that she’s broadcasted herself on a public platform such as youtube, ahin’s made it a point to study up in english. she’d touched on it in school, but during her trainee experience, she learned a lot more of it, and now, she’s able to very comfortably hold conversations with her english-speaking fans in their native tongue.

NOTABLE FACTS:

ahin is the sole editor of all of her instagram photos, and her youtube videos, as she doesn’t trust many people to give her the results that she longs to see. that said, she’s knowledgable of a variety of editing softwares, i.e. adobe photoshop and final cut pro.

it’s been stated by ahin on a few occasions that she doesn’t believe in dieting, and to stay in shape, she eats a well-balanced diet and exercises; preferring to have a full, healthy physique as opposed to one that’s too thin. however, she believes that all people, women especially, should do whatever they like with their bodies, and not let the opinions of others sway them from reaching their goals so long as they’re not too dangerous or harmful.

ahin collects vintage clothing that she alters to fit her day-to-day, modern wardrobe.

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

for the time being, ahin is completely focused on gaining attention for herself as an individual. while nightmare has helped push her name into the spotlight, the level of popularity that she has presently isn’t satisfactory to her. she loathes that the some of the other girls within her group are pushed more than she is, and she’s willing to go to desperate measures to steal the spotlight. being that she’s not super happy with how koala.t manages her, she’s resorted to begging them for variety gigs, as well as convincing them to allow her to kickstart a solo youtube channel. while they’ve agreed, they’re a bit annoyed with her overwhelming persistence. however, she doesn’t care one bit — she feels she deserves more than what she’s getting, and she’ll push until she’s happy. how she plans to go about this, as briefly mentioned above, is through variety; her personality being something that makes her standout as she’s not nearly as savvy with song and dance.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

after gaining a large fanbase, she hopes to curate a fashion line in her name, as well as release her own skincare and cosmetics. nightmare is only the start in her master plan for success, and after she’s created a name for herself, she hopes to leave kjh global creative behind and become an international business woman; hopefully landing on the list of the wealthiest people in south korea by the time she’s thirty-five. it’s an almost impossible feat, but with her hard work and dedication, she knows she can make it happen.

IDOL IMAGE

every teen drama needs a villain — a popular ‘mean girl’ that everyone loves to hate, and although she can be positively rotten, often in the most scrumptious ways, she’s somehow still so charming; still so cool, and what’s worse, is that she’ll always be cool. she’s the type that all of the teachers adore, but when no one of supposed importance is paying attention, she pushes those she deems lesser into their lockers, she’ll flip her hair and flash the most artificial grin after gifting someone with a horribly condescending backwards compliment. she’s the top of the social pyramid, she’s two-faced, and many hope to be her best friend in order to be withinin the inner circle she boasts of. in a world of buffy summers’ and willow roseberg’s, she’s the cordelia chase, and in nightmare’s softened version of the hellmouth, one do ahin steps into those shoes perfectly. while many of her members are falling deep into the depths of koala.t music’s cult classic horror film by appearing mysterious, or full of quirks, she stands strong as the comedic relief in this often theatrical world — marketed as the girl with the wittiest lines, the sometimes grim sense of humor, and the most expensive pair of shoes, to boot. instead of winning the hearts of potential fans with incantations and spells, she hopes to melt them with a radiant personality, and cheeky one-liners that are coated in flirtation, humor, and a signature bit of black magic. in this fantasy, she is the popular girl in school who just so happens to become involved in the wild supernatural realms through peculiar circumstances, and in typical flare, uses her bold attitude and beauty as ways to charm people; to get her way and to get people on her side.

unlike many of her peers, especially some of which are lost in nightmare’s lore with her, ahin doesn’t care to be known as someone with an outstanding singing voice, or as the woman with the most powerful dance moves, no. instead, she’s spiraling about in this land of idols due to a desperate need to be famous; a fiery need to be recognized nationwide. in an ideal world, she would be front and center on variety shows; using what she possesses naturally, an effervescent personality — whether it’s real or not — to land in good graces with korea’s general public. instead of fading into the background, she strives to be a girl who is loaded with confidence — one who isn’t afraid to brazenly interact with hosts of red carpet events, and variety excursions, and so far, she’s been exactly that: a bright, beaming presence in the cloudy atmosphere that her group puts forth. whether it be in official appearances, or on her personal youtube channel, she lets her likability come front and center — using it as a mask, of sorts, to conceal her powerful need for revenge, and her almost sinister hunt for fame and fortune. beneath this façade is a girl who harbors a slight darkness and ‘too good’ attitude, and every once in awhile, much to her dismay, she’s caught making unpleasant or rude facial expressions to her fellow members, or even to fans at meet-and-greets.

for now, her devotees in the ‘coven’ pass it off as how her resting countenance can appear a bit cold and frigid, but she’s not actually like that when spoken to, and though many believe them, it’s only a matter of time before her true colors are revealed and she’s found out to be more mean-spirited than she lets on. hopefully nothing happens that causes her to break this character she’s created, for if she does, her plan on being widely loved will be forever blemished.

IDOL HISTORY

>  tw. abandonment, habitual lying.

a set of small black mary jane shoes glistened in the harsh sunlight as a short-haired little girl walked her way over to school; the warmer weather making her a little overheated in the multiple layers of uniform. with summertime fast approaching, she thought ahead to all that she’d be up to in about a two months time — happy to know that there would soon be no homework to fret over, nor any daily obligations to be attended to, and although she loved the freedom, she couldn’t help but feel a bit upset at the thought of the upcoming break. it was true that she wouldn’t have anything to stress over, but that came at the price of losing almost all social interaction with her peers. while many other children raced around their neighborhoods to their friends houses to play together, she didn’t have that luxury, nor the ability to understand why it was that she didn’t have any comrades. more often than not, she found herself seated in the back of an overloaded cafeteria; a book opened up as she read through it, immersed in the tale it had to tell. the entire time she found herself lost in the world of fiction, she hoped and wished that someone would approach her; that a girl or boy would take notice that she was sitting all alone and decide to engage, to make that first move. however, time and time again, she was disappointed and left to form friendships with the characters found in the novels she’d rent from the library, and although she liked the temporary bonds she’d have with each make-believe character she learned about, they still couldn’t speak back to her. this lack of real-life connection wasn’t due to an overwhelming shyness she couldn’t shake, and truth be told, it was something of a mystery, one that she had a terrible time trying to solve all on her own.

the painful curiosities that spiraled about in her brain only continued to diminish her already brittle confidence, and by the innocent age of eight, she was becoming so desperate to be liked. it was an ache that she carried with her everyday, and over the years, it only grew worse. by nine, she had convinced herself that she must not have been interesting to talk to, and by ten, she had found a cure for that — lying. whether it be about her family’s status, the material items that she owned, or the people she knew, by doing so, she managed to gain some sort of attention and respect. after all, who doesn’t love the idea of being cohorts with a wealthy, borderline famous kid? living in this artificial reality was all too easy for her, but what proved to be difficult was the upkeep. if she managed to get people to hangout with her, how was she going to stand by her words and reveal a gilded lifestyle when she had the exact opposite? it wasn’t as though her family was downtrodden and destitute, but she didn’t exactly live in a lovely mansion in the countryside like she claimed, and while her mother and father held decent occupations, it was nowhere near being a ceo or a socialite. so, while she had started to gather together her own group of acquaintances, she was only able to see them within her school’s boundary line. she’d never be able to host sleepovers at her house, nor would she ever introduce these supposed ‘bffs’ to her parents. they’d inquired about them on a number of occasions, but she’d tell them the same fibs every time. “oh, their parents are strict; they don’t let them play much!” or “ah, she was feeling sick today, so she had to stay at home.” this was so frequent that, at one point, they finally made her break down and tell the truth, but instead of making her apologize and come clean, they only wanted to make their little girl comfortable; her smile mattering more to them than the string of untruths she’d told.

by thirteen, her mother had already began to replace the tags in her shirts with self-created replicas of those found in lavish clothing, and when she finally embarked on voyages on the weekends to meet-up with classmates at fourteen, she would offer to pay for all the snacks they’d consume to further convince them that she had money to blow. little did they know, though, is that that was allowance money she earned from doings chores at home that she would waste away whenever she’d get it. most remained duped for many moons, but when she finally reached the age of sixteen, her truth was discovered by a suspicious associate, and when rumors that were factually accurate began to flood the hallways that she wasn’t who she said she was, she was left to lie in the bed that she’d made herself; lonesome and dejected. all of those she surrounded herself with — the clique that was deemed the most cool in school — immediately banished her from their tightly-formed, image-conscious confines. the cruel reality washed over her like freezing water, and loss of the empire she built came crumbling down in what seemed to be the stroke of a lightning bolt hitting earth hurt her more than anything. the flavor of what it felt like to be adored and treated like a princess was one she became addicted to, and now that she didn’t have that specific essence upon her tastebuds any longer, she was going through withdrawal — the pain of each symptom more overwhelming than the feeling of loneliness she was once constantly swathed with. no matter how many times she begged to be accepted by chungdam high’s in-crowed, she was devastatingly rejected; told that they wouldn’t ever be able to trust anything that left her lips again, which was completely valid.

this fall from grace took her from class queen to a girl no one wanted to be acquainted with, and she had no one to blame but herself. for the first time in years, she found herself stuck in the back of the cafeteria again. however, a glimmer of hope came to her in a mysterious way, and the instant she heard this good news, she knew she could use it to her advantage. having newly graduated from an arts university, her beloved uncle had secured himself a job as a music producer for koala.t music: an experimental entertainment company on the rise. with his connections, maybe she’d be able to meet some of the nation’s most-coveted idols and personalities. however, although what she was telling people was the truth now, no one believed her and she was further ignored, but this time, instead of wallowing in her own self pity, a flame of anger took root inside her, and every time she was cast away, it would turn more infernal. her mind raced with different plans to enact revenge on them, and time and time again, she came up with the same answer: becoming a public figure with a huge and loyal following to prove, once and for all, that she was superior in some fashion; to prove that she had power to be far more likable than they were. so, her attention soon set on the relative she planned on using to gain access into the ‘limelight’ once again, and after weeks of begging him to help her schedule an interview with the company’s casting team, it finally paid off. after seeing photos of her, they agreed to give her a shot. after all, the worst that could happen was that she was a waste of their time. when the time came, their worries were somewhat brought to life when she showed little-to-no concept of musicality when she sang or rapped, but on the upside, she was striking to behold, could dance some, and had a personality that they found appealing. it was a long deliberation, but in the end, they agreed to take a chance on her. maybe with a little work, she could be the next big thing?

while it was becoming apparent that she possessed a natural charisma and stage presence that made her eye-catching, it was also obvious that she wasn’t exactly the most talented girl in the company — at least not when it came to singing and rapping. her dance skill was arguably her highest, but that was mostly due to the fact that she put on a good show. she was able to accentuate her movements with proper facial expressions and power in the right places, and even if she wasn’t the most technically flawless, there was still that same twinkle about her. it was hard for her to believe them, at first, when they complimented her visuals and her strength when in the center position of formations for evaluations, as far the most part in her life, she was never truly noticed. maybe she had become good at acting like someone else for so long that she was able to completely embody different personas, and concepts? either way, she continued to work her way up the ladder; spending ample amounts of time singing at the piano with vocal instructors and learning about style, and flow, from rappers and lyricists. she wasn’t immune to mistakes, and she made a significant amount most of the time, but she didn’t allow herself to throw in the towel when the going got tough. if not for herself, then for her uncle. she wouldn’t want him to look bad for putting in a good word for her, so continued to battle the impossible odds that were set out for her. after all, if she were lucky, she’d be given the chance to début for simply being beautiful, or for possessing star quality, but she felt increasing her odds by making use of the resources koala.t provided was the strongest option overall.

when the final evaluations before announcing a lineup were in full affect, ahin was nervous the whole time. whenever she had the opportunity to be an audience member to the other girls in her category and witness how remarkable they were, she felt discouraged. maybe this wasn’t meant to be and she’d forever fade into obscurity? after all, what good would becoming famous be if she was only making a fool out of herself? while her vocal and rap skills were still developing, and her dance skill was still her best, she was betting on the fact that she could be apart of the dance line. she’d take anything if it meant that she’d have her moment. when it was her turn to show her improvements, it was clear that steady progress had been made over time, and though she wasn’t main vocal worthy, main dancer worthy, or even main rapper worthy, she wasn’t the worst that koala.t had witnessed. in fact, they were still fixated on her aura and found her to standout for one reason or another. though, at first, her worst nightmare came true when she wasn’t initially selected to be apart of the group that she felt she deserved a place in; this rejection stinging far worse than any of the others in her past. instead of throwing in the towel, though, she decided to stick with the company and push through — hoping that, in the next few years, she’d be able to get even better than she was and emerge stronger. however, what lied just around the corner for her would take her by surprise, and her persistence would bestow her with lot of good fortune.

after a little over a year had passed, changes were being made to the concept that koala.t decided on for their latest all-female collective, and when one girl was removed due to no longer fitting the image that they were transitioning into, they called upon one do ahin to replace her. after studying her movements and voice once again, they decided that she was a much better fit for the new direction that they were taking, and being that they already had a formidable formation of talent to round out a strong vocal line and rap line, their emphasis on choosing someone who best suited their risky creation took precedence over narrowing in on another impressive belter, or powerful dancer. being that she was somewhat of a last minute replacement, she had little time to prepare for the upcoming promotional period, and she wasn’t given very many lines on the group’s first title track. blaming it on circumstance, she looked forward to being included more on the next few comebacks, but another bout of misfortune ensued whenever her uncle — who produced ‘good night’ — didn’t give her the spotlight she’d urged him to give her. she wasn’t able to admit that it was her lacking skills in vocals and rap that pushed her to last place in the distribution of parts, and instead, she took it as a personal attack. her dire need to rub her victory in the face of her former friends clouding her judgement and making her greedy; selfish. more often than not, she’d treat the man who made it possible for her to even audition for the company that represented her like dirt beneath her shoes, and for that reason, he purposely gave her little-to-nothing in ‘fly high.’ infuriated, she started to take her fate into her own hands once again; imploring koala.t to allow her to take part in self-promotional material, i.e. variety and social media.

being that nightmare is still newer to the k-pop scene, they’re in need of any sort of attention they can get, so koala.t music agreed to her creation of a personal youtube channel, and slowly, they’ve started to loosen their reins a little more by booking ahin in her first ever solo variety appearance in ‘we got married.’ if she’s going to be given no air time on the tracks her group records — because, of course, she’s too full of pride to give her uncle the apology he deserves — then she’s going to win the hearts of many by solely putting herself out there to be digested by the public. her persistence was revealing itself once again, but instead of it being in the form of a strong resolve to find success in the music industry, it was to ensure that her face is plastered everywhere: television screens, the internet, magazine covers — wherever she could reach. she wasn’t going to let her flaws boggle her down for long, and she knew she had to make up for what she lacked in some fashion so that, hopefully in the future, the classmates who called her out won’t be able to escape having to stare at her due to her level of exposure. they’ll see her face and be not-so-gently reminded of the person they all came to loathe after each story she told was sadly debunked, and that’s all she wants: to be a rude awakening for them that she’s doing far more with her life than they’ll ever do, and she’ll stop at nothing until that dream is fulfilled.