#i--

"'ey. You lot below resting on yer laurels or what? Was surprised to see that I didn't wake up to me bedroom being filled with infernal fire or some other bollocks like that."

It was honestly kind of sad how predictable he was getting in his old age. Really. 

“Wot’s this then? Ol’ Johnny boy mad that today’s not all about him? Shame, shame.” The clicking in the wheezing was probably the closest it could get to a proper laugh, hard when half of the throat was still nothing but holes. It was hard not to, really, it was just mad that this was going a lot easier than it had thought. 

Maybe that was on the creature for expecting far more from the creator than it should. A shame, really, it had planned for a lot today... 

“What a sad fuckin’ joke this is, aye? You come trapsin’ all the way down here for what? Lonely? Too sad upstairs wit’ them livin’ things that you can’t tweak yer tadger?” If he wanted fire than it would give him fire. It’d make escape that much harder. 

“Didn’t even think to make it fun, you just waltzed right into an obvious trap all ‘cause your selfish little blight of an existence is uppity about being on your own today of all days. Mean, you’re here now. Saved me half the work.” It snapped its mangy fingers, a toothy grin forming around the shift of presence in the area.