#i'm..........not okay

vera doesn’t often ENVY his relationship with liquor --- the ability to relinquish all control to a bottle never quite appealed to her, except in moments like these. she had seen the half empty bottle when she’d arrived and she had stayed behind anyway, telling herself it’s to make sure he’ll be okay and nothing more. and she watches quietly from her perch on the counter as he drains the bottle to its very last drop over those few hours. it still takes some time after that before she succeeds in nearly getting him to lie down, but he turns to her just as they reach the doorway to his room. there’s a look in his eyes that she’s seen before and ignored, but he’s got her trapped. a hand catches him along his jawline with the intent of stopping him before he can reach her, but instead her head turns at the last second so his lips meet the skin below her ear. ❛  you don’t want to do this.  ❜ who is she trying to convince? her head and her hand shakes, even after she finds the courage to meet his eyes. ❛  you’re drunk and you don’t want to do this. i don’t want to do this.  ❜ it’s only then that his expression changes and vera knows she’s said the right thing. she knows because it HURTS and she hates the sigh of relief that leaves her when he pulls himself away without a single word wasted on her. she lingers in the doorway only a few moments more to watch his form sink into his mattress. it goes without saying that she won’t be staying --- not tonight. and maybe not for a while.