#i can't...what?

“Don’t wanna get up today John…”

John exhales, as usual, he has trouble refusing you much, if anything at all. He turns and strokes your hair out of your face, placing a kiss on your cheekbone.

“Let’s take it one step at a time hmm? I’ll make coffee…”

You reluctantly let him go, watching and appreciating his boxer-clad form as he walks to the bedroom door. John feels your gaze on him and pauses, glancing back to where you’re barely visible above the mountain of soft covers.

“At least you’re not too sleepy to ogle me…”

“John!” you whine in embarrassment, hiding under the covers and you hear him give a low chuckle before closing the door.

You doze, but the smell of fresh coffee brings you round. You sit up in bed, well aware your hair is a mess and sip the cup that John has brought you. He sits beside you for a moment, his dark eyes running over you. He looks concerned, and you can sense he is formulating a plan.

“I’m okay John. I just don’t feel like facing the world today y’know?”

John gives a gentle sigh, but you know he is more worried than mad. He lifts the strap of your camisole back up to your shoulder where it had slipped down. His touch makes you shiver and you watch him a little wide eyed through the steam from your cup.

“How about we have a day just us?”

You breathe out a sigh of relief, glad that he understands, and abandon your coffee to throw your arms around his broad shoulders. John strokes his thumb on the bare skin of your back.

“You go back to sleep for a bit...I’m going to sort a few things out, all right?”

You chew your lip, you’d really hoped that John would get back into bed and cuddle you, but you know he has some work obligations he can’t avoid. You nod and snuggle back down. John tucks you in and leaves you to rest.

You can sleep through a lot of things, but the smell of food is not one of them. You drag yourself from the sanctuary of your bed, not bothering to dress, pushing your feet into your knitted slipper boots before padding into the kitchen.

John is making breakfast, and you wrinkle your nose, hopping up on the bar stool to watch him. He gives you a focused but gentle glance.

“Feeling better?”

You shrug and rub your eyes, not wanting the spoiling to stop anytime soon. John smirks and tips a pancake onto a plate in front of you.

“How about you try and eat something for me, baby?”

You start to cut your food and he moves behind you, giving you a brief hug before taking the cutlery out of your hands.

“Let me…”

He offers you a syrup laden fork and you roll your eyes, not liking to feel like a child. John raises a dark eyebrow and you open your mouth obediently, not wanting to piss him off.

“Good girl…” he says and you blush, both from humiliation and from how much you enjoy his praise.

John lets you finish the rest of your breakfast yourself, but insists on stealing the banana slices off your plate. You slap the back of his hand and he gives you an amused look.

“So if you don’t want to go outside what do you want to do?”

You flush and look at him through your lashes and John snorts. “This is about you relaxing…”

You open your mouth to protest you do find that relaxing but he puts a finger to your lips and you look up at him meekly.

“How about we play one of those stupid games you like so much?”

You nod excitedly and lead him to the couch and turn on the games console. You beat him at Mario Kart a few times and you can see his frustration rising. His skill in real life driving is not transferring to the game and he grunts, letting out various curse words directed at his tiny avatar.

The effort of playing tires you out and you fling yourself back against the couch cushions dramatically. John is rubbing his temple. “I think we need a break.”

He turns off the screen and glances back to you. You can see something in his eyes that you don’t quite catch onto quick enough before he has you in his arms. You’re pressed against his broad chest and you whimper at his sudden rush of emotion.

“I love you….” John murmurs in your ear.

“I love you too John.”

He places a searing kiss against your neck and you gasp a little breathless.

“...John…”

His eyes drift to your mouth, his gaze turning heated. You sit stock still, feeling like he’s cast a spell on you as he rubs the back of his knuckles against your cheek and you almost purr.

“Let’s watch a movie…”

You’re a little annoyed at him for not kissing you, so you choose the Disney delight that is Frozen, thinking it won’t be his cup of tea, but you see him tapping his foot out the corner of your eye, and even when you push yourself into his arms for a cuddle his eyes remain fixed to the screen, caught up in the story. However by the end you can see see him getting antsy, his knee fidgeting up and down and not to the rhythm of the music. You stroke his leg soothingly, but you can feel the pent up energy pulsing out of him. As soon as the credits roll he turns to you.

“I might go for a run, you’re sure you don’t want to come?”

“I could do a walk maybe?”

John looks so delighted you rush to pull on your jeans. He jams a woolly hat over your ears and kisses your nose.

He holds your hand as you walk through the neighbourhood. You don’t really feel like seeing anyone you know, so you keep your head down and your eyes averted. John leads you through a small woodland clearing, it is empty except for the birds, the trees and him. You relax and start to look around, taking deep cleansing breaths of oxygen.

John is wearing his soft brown coat, the cold turning his cheeks a little red. You can see the flecks of grey in his beard and you feel so fond, so hopeful that you will spend the rest of your life with this man. Not for the first time you feel a yearning in your heart for the patter of tiny feet.

“John...when can we get a puppy?” You attempt to sound casual, swinging his hand up and down.

He glances down at you. “This again? They’re so much work…”

“But just imagine….we could bring it on our walks...snuggle with it on the couch…”

“Aren’t I enough for you to cuddle?” John asks, pretending to be offended, grabbing a handful of leaves and throwing them in your direction.

You easily dodge out the way, screaming with laughter. “You are...but a puppy would be so cute…”

“Aren’t I ‘cute’?” he says with a quizzical grin that makes you heart pound. John grabs you and pulls you into his arms, still pouting with mock offence and you reach up and caress his face.

“No. You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever known.”

He almost growls in response, bending to nip at your ear as if he were in fact a puppy. “Well hey now you completely destroyed my argument….”

“Then you’ll have to give in…” you pant, stroking your hands into his dark hair as his tongue sneaks out to suck your earlobe.

“I always do with you…”

When you return from the walk you’re freezing, despite the hat and coat, and you ball your hands into fists trying to warm them up. John takes them between his own larger ones and rubs until you can feel the blood moving again.

“Thank you.” you say through teeth clenched with cold and he makes an annoyed sound.

“Come on….bath time…”

You can tell he is upset at himself for letting you get so cold, but to be honest you hardly noticed, you were too caught up with him. You strip off your clothes in the bathroom, feeling John’s eyes on you and pour a full cup of bubble bath into the water. John sits on the floor beside the bath and dangles his hand in the water. He has taken off his shoes and socks and crosses his bare feet under him. He looks casual, soft, so unlike he does when he’s dressed up for work, and your heart aches with affection.

“You know you could get in with me…” you suggest as casually as possible.

“No...you enjoy it…” he leans up and kisses you once, far too briefly then leaves you languishing in the warm water until your skin starts to prune. 

You pull yourself out of the bath and somehow John is there to help you. He wraps a white fluffy towel around you then takes another to gently dry off your hair, getting out most of the moisture and leaving it damp around your neck.

“You look so cute like this…” he tells you, and you try not to glare.

You put your pyjamas back on and join John who is lounging on the couch. He is wearing his Henley shirt and old jeans which spark many pleasant memories. They have a few holes and are fraying at his ankles. It makes you sad to think he will have to one day get a new pair. You sit between his legs on the floor. John begins to comb your hair and you wince when it catches on the tangles.

He spots you of course. “Does that hurt?”

You tilt your head, trying to look back into his brown eyes.

“A bit.”

“I’m sorry.” he rumbles, kissing your cheek from behind. “But we gotta get the tangles out, right?”

You nod and try to relax as he continues. John finishes up then puts down the comb, placing his large hands on your shoulders and kneading your muscles.

“You’re still so tense after that bath?”

You sigh. “I can’t help it.”

“Oh, little one….”

John bends to kiss your neck and you feel yourself relax, both from his mouth on your skin and the tender pet name.

“...come sit up here with me….you wanna watch another movie?”

You lay on the couch and put your feet in his lap. John takes one and starts rubbing, it is bliss. You groan and shift your feet in his lap. John ignores the brush of your feet against his crotch, focused on draining every bit of tension out of you until you’re a boneless mess.

“No movie...too loud just...let’s just sit.”

John nods and flicks on some classical music which fills the background with quiet ambience.

“Don’t mind if I read do you?”

You shake your head and he grabs his book, keeping your feet in his lap and still stroking them with one hand, using the other to hold his book. You gaze at him lazily. His profile is perfect. Dark eyelashes which brush against freckled cheeks, a regal nose, his supple looking mouth. You grumble and arch your back off the couch, starting to feel a little restless from doing nothing all day.

Almost as if he senses your thoughts John puts down his book to turn you around on the couch, placing your head in his lap. He moves his hand to your mouth, caressing your bottom lip and tapping it. You feel a shiver through your body and open your mouth, sucking two of his fingers inside. You calm instantly, the pads of his fingers sliding against your tongue. You nip at the joint and he darts a sharp look at you, so you suck his fingertip in apology.

John turns back to his book and you squirm a bit in his lap, letting out a low desperate sound around his fingers and John pauses.

“Problem?”

You shake your head urgently.

“Hmm…”

John takes his fingers from your mouth to turn the page of his book and you whimper at the loss. When he returns them, he trails them down your neck making you purr, over your chest where your nipples are already hard, to your waistband. He leans the heel of his hand on your stomach, petting lightly back and forth over your navel.

You feel drugged with desire. How John manages to detect your most sensitive areas you have no idea, but he just hit almost all of them within a minute and it’s got you dizzy. You close your eyes to try and calm down. You hear the rustle as John turns another page.

His caresses are feather light, teasing and it’s a lovely torture. John moves his fingers, still slick with your saliva down the curve of your stomach to your underwear. He rubs you through the cotton and you open your eyes, looking down and revelling in how debauched it looks, his thick fingers pressing against your damp white panties.

You tip your head up so you can look at him and John is staring down at exactly the same place, his breath held, his eyes large and dark. He pushes your underwear aside, looking almost in a trance, gathering some of your wetness up onto his fingers so he can taste you. You catch a glimpse of his long tongue around his own knuckles and you turn your head in his lap, feeling a large bulge forming against your cheek.

“Are you…” you stutter, feeling shy suddenly “really still reading?”

You jump as John throws the book across the room. “No.”

He grabs your face and kisses you, deep and dirty and you return it as best you can. His fingers are gripping your jaw and basically restricting your movements so you have no choice but to submit. Not that there is the slightest chance you’d want to resist.

His eyelids flutter as he pulls back from you, looking stunned for a moment before seeming to remember himself.

“Sorry I...you’re supposed to be resting today…”

“I’m okay John….please don’t stop…”

You lift his big hand from where is it resting on your chin and move it down back between your legs. John makes a harsh sound in his throat, pushing a finger inside you.

“Okay my lovely brat...you get what you want as usual…”

You’re so wet his finger slides in easily, but as he adds another you can feel yourself clenching around him, shamefully desperate. John looks like he might pass out, looking at you in awe.

“How are you….so tight?”

He bends and kisses your forehead as he gently moves his fingers inside you, curling them up and you can tell he is trying to focus on bringing you pleasure without thinking of himself.

You’re not having that and you spread your legs wide, bearing down on his fingers shamelessly.

“Because you didn’t fuck me all day daddy…”

You use the name on him because you know its power. John struggles against every moral instinct in himself not to like it...but oh he does...and the fact that it’s taboo makes him like it even more.

“Fuck….” he swears, and you feel the delicious thrill of making him break that precious control.

He pulls down his jeans with such desperation it makes you pant and without much hesitation slips inside you, large and thick and warm and everything you could want.

“Sweetheart…” he chokes, “I’m not sure how long I can last like this…”

“That’s okay daddy…” you pant back, your voice sounding weak and thready as John pushes you into the couch with the force of his thrusts.

You hold on for dear life, happy with his rough pace as it matches your neediness. After a while John seems to gain some control of himself, slowing down and almost stopping. You wrap your legs around his waist, rocking yourself up against him, trying to make him move, but he’s so much larger than you it barely works.

“Hey...look at me...”

You thrash your head and he holds your throat gently, forcing you to look into his eyes.

“I love you...” he tells you, for second time that day.

You groan and squeeze your inner muscles around him in reply. You adore him, you are crazy for him, you just need him to move.

John waits, patient and grave until you see he requires a response. You blink a few times, trying to clear your hazy mind, reaching up to stroke his hair which feels silky without its usual gel.

“I love you John.” you grind out and see him nod, satisfied, before he thankfully starts to move again in long languorous strokes, designed torment you, bringing you to the edge.

He leans down, sucking at your skin while rubbing your clit and you cry out with a pleasure so intense it almost feels like pain. John starts to move again, even as you come, and as usual his words get dirtier the closer he is to orgasm.

“God...damn...you’re amazing...can feel you milking my cock darling...”

He seems intent on making you come again, and you can feel your brain blurring into blackness. You keen, oversensitive but not wanting him to stop, you just start pleading, almost begging, trying to urge him on.

You move your hands to grasp his ass and pull him down against you. John gives a yelp of surprise at your bold action, loses control and releases inside you with a sob, shuddering and dropping heavily, his head against your breasts. 

He sits up as soon as he is able, pulling his shirt over his head to try and cool off. You run an appreciative hand over his muscles and he gives you a rueful look.

“I didn’t mean to lose it like that....you were just so...”

He trails off as you shift on the couch, trying not to make a mess as the evidence of John’s loss of control leaks out of you. 

“....fucking hot....”

His eyes widen with a possessive look as he picks you up caveman style and carries you to the bathroom to clean you up. You’re too weak from pleasure to protest and let him move your limbs around like a doll. John doesn’t stop looking concerned until you’re back in bed, him spooning your back, his arm tightly around you.

“Did you turn everything off downstairs?” 

“Yeah....I got it all under control...and I’ve got you, okay?”

You nod, feeling your heart throb with the strength of your feelings. 

“I’ve had a lovely day with you...I almost don’t want it to end...”

Even as you admit it you feel sleep tugging at you and you try to ignore it, try to focus on the feeling of John’s arms around you. He kisses your nape and shushes you.

“Sleep. We can have an even better one tomorrow...”