#hyejoo

you stared at the message that flashed across your phone screen minutes ago, sent by a family member who supported your journey with the group, as you sat in the living room with some of your members. it was an article about one of your members, jiwoo, to be specific, and your eyes scanned the seemingly incomprehensible sentences of the statement.

you just stared at it in silence, your head trying to catch up with the news and your millions of panicked thoughts, but your brain refused to accept the information until you heard a pair of feet padding around the corner and looked up just in time for the maknae to appear.

"is it true?" yeojin sobbed, her voice breaking as she stared at you through misty eyes that screamed denial at the news that had just reached you.

you avoided her gaze, unsure how to respond to her question because you were still trying to wrap your head around it. your gaze returned to your phone, and you scanned the article's headline for the nth time in the previous ten minutes.

breaking: loona's agency announces chuu's removal from the group

you close your eyes, feeling your heart break as a result of yeojin's cry.

"jiwoo unnie is leaving us?"

you tuned out the rest of the conversation, which was just the older members trying to take control of the situation and care for the younger ones because haseul hadn't returned home yet, both kahei and hyunjin were on their respective schedules, and no one knew where jiwoo was at the moment.

"that's not fucking true." 

because of sooyoung's outburst, you opened your eyes and met hyeju's blank eyes, which mirrored yours, before averting your gaze to sooyoung, who had been silent for the past few minutes and was just glaring holes into her phone screen.

"there's no fucking way jiwoo would do that." she seethed.

"haseul unnie is not answering her phone." jinsol murmured, taking the phone away from her ear to quickly text haseul before trying again. she looked at yerim, trying to stop her sobs, and wrapped her arm around the younger girl, allowing her to cry into her shoulder.

"same with jiwoo, cannot be reached." in frustration, jungeun almost threw the phone away, but she managed to keep her cool despite the mounting tears.

you couldn't take the pain any longer, so you got up and left, not looking back even when heejin summoned you with a pleading tone in her voice.

"y/n unnie. unnie, please."

however, you did not listen and walked down the corridor, causing the girl to sigh sadly.

hyeju remained silent in her seat as she watched you walk away; even when you disappeared into your room, which you shared with kahei, jungeun, heejin, and chaewon. she just stared at the spot you were previously at. 

her body was itching to move, to follow you. 

her brain yelled at her to get up and move.

however, she couldn't.

everyone knew you and your coping mechanisms in situations like this, when you felt suffocated and trapped. you isolate yourself.

hyeju wanted to join you, but after seeing how you refused to even be in the same room as them and ignored heejin's call, she sat back down.

haseul soon returned with teary eyes, and she burst into tears when she saw her members crying together in the living room, causing another wave of tears from everyone. some of the members tried to console everyone who was crying, but they teared up with them and looked away. 

meanwhile, you were curled up in bed, hugging the animal plushie jiwoo had given you, your jaw clenched as you heard the cries from the living room. you closed your eyes, blocking the noise with pillows, which did nothing, but sleep found its way to you, and you were soon drifting off, your mind filled with thoughts of jiwoo leaving the group.

"is she still not out yet?" 

night arrived, jiwoo had not yet returned, and you had not left the room, even locking your roommates out. haseul tried to coax you out earlier after arriving and explaining the situation to the others, but she got no response.

sooyoung and jungeun also tried, the latter cursing you for locking them out, which you heard but knew was a joke and her attempt to get you to unlock the door. however, it also did not work.

it was now kahei's turn. when she got home, she didn't even look at her members because she was focused on getting you out of the room. it took a long time, and everyone waited in anticipation, with hyeju staring intently into the corridor as if her gaze would be enough to call you back.

the oldest, like the others, returned with a worried frown. she shook her head at haseul, then looked at hyunjin, who was leaning on heejin for support.

hyeju clicked her tongue, cursing your stubborn nature. "she's not going to."

haseul sighed. "she hasn't had her lunch or dinner yet."

hyeju frowned as she looked at the food on the table, her worry growing as she stared at it. despite being younger, she cared for you. hyeju cast another glance down the corridor, wishing you would just leave your room. her body moved an inch, but she managed to shake herself out of it just as she was about to get out of her seat.

however, the elbow digging into her side made her jump, and she turned to chaewon with an annoyed frown, which chaewon returned with her own. the girl had been watching hyeju's internal conflict the entire time, watching her tense eyes move back and forth between the corridor, the table, and her palms.

"go." chaewon nudged her head in the direction of your room, and hyeju took a brief glance before shaking her head.

"unnie wants to be alone."

the other girl gave her another irritated look. "the look you two shared earlier says otherwise."

hyeju shook her head and averted her gaze, your guarded expression and helpless eyes from earlier when you made eye contact flashing through her mind. "i don't know what you're talking about."

pausing, they turned to yerim when she spoke, sniffling quietly. "we shouldn't force y/n unnie. she's… quite scary."

hyunjin shook her head. "but we need unnie right now."

chaewon leaned into hyeju while the others started to argue, causing the other girl to instinctively lean away from her. chaewon didn't mind, simply raising a brow at hyeju, who frowned.

"look, if anyone can get past unnie's cold and guarded exterior, it's you." chaewon tried to persuade the younger girl, and jinsol next to them nodded, but they were both too preoccupied with the situation to notice her. "jiwoo unnie can do it as well, considering they're best friends, but that's extremely rare."

hyeju remained silent as she processed chaewon's words, but she was taking too long, and chaewon's patience was running thin.

they needed you, and someone has to get you out of there.

chaewon's hand found hyeju's shoulder, and hyeju felt the arm against her lower back. hyeju tensed up and turned to glare at chaewon, but the girl beat her to it and pushed her out of her seat.

when she felt herself being pushed out of her seat, hyeju had to play it off in front of the others to avoid embarrassment, silently walking past them and sending chaewon one last look. chaewon simply smiled sarcastically at her, proud of what she had accomplished, and watched as hyeju walked down the corridor.

"hyeju's gonna try?" sooyung inquired, thumbs too busy typing yet another message to jiwoo. yeojin stood nearby, trying to peek over to read the lengthy message.

chaewon nodded and haseul sighed, worry written all over the leader's face. "i hope she can do it."

hyeju stood there, her fist raised to knock on the door, but hesitations took precedence, so she just stood there. she stared at the door, expecting it to open magically, but it didn't. she sighed in frustration and turned to leave before your voice from within made her freeze, shoulders rising to show the tension.

"hyeju."

hyeju's gaze returned to the door, her face flushed with embarrassment that she tried to hide with her usual poker face. hyeju knew if you saw her right now, you'd notice she was embarrassed, but that didn't mean she wouldn't try to hide the flush across her cheeks. hyeju heard the door unlock, and luckily for her, you didn't open it, giving her time to gather her thoughts.

"come in."

hyeju did as she was told, relieved that you weren't pushing her away like you do with the members. she stood in the doorway, staring at you as you sat on your bed, a deep frown on your face. 

when you two fell silent, you looked at the tense girl, who jumped slightly when your gaze landed on her, putting on a brave face despite the flush creeping up her neck. despite being amused, you couldn't bring yourself to laugh at her and instead patted the space next to you.

"don't just stand there, idiot."

hyeju clicked her tongue. "who are you calling an idiot, huh?"

despite her grumbled response, the younger girl approached you and sat down next to you, shoulders tense and arms crossed in front of her chest.

"you. who else?" you quipped.

the girl glared at you. "between us, you're the idiot."

"sure, hyeju. sure."

hyeju kept staring at you as you pretended to be unconcerned. she noticed how your seemingly blank eyes scanned the room as if for the first time, but hyeju knew it was a habit you'd developed over time. it meant you were attempting to postpone and, hopefully, avoid the upcoming confrontation or conversation she was about to spring on you.

her gaze was drawn to your clasped hands in your lap, your thumb running over the back of your hand, your nail lightly scratching the reddening skin. it meant that you were anxious the entire time you were locked inside the room, despite the cold mask you were wearing.

her gaze returned to your face, and her brow furrowed and nose scrunched at the same time as yours. hyeju knew you found something really repulsive just by that action, so she followed your gaze and saw the animal plushie.

"i thought you loved that plushie?" hyeju queried, knowing jiwoo gave it to you.

you huffed. "i do."

"then why are you glaring at it?"

you noticed her carefully staring at your side profile, attempting to read you. if hyeju was difficult to read, you were even more difficult to crack. despite knowing all of your habits, hyeju found it hard to read you.

you shook your head. "i wasn't."

hyeju gave you a look and merely pointed at your brow. "your brow just twitched."

"and?" you urged, raising the mentioned brow at her.

she blinked. "you're lying."

"i'm not." you huffed and your brow twitched again, causing hyeju to point it out.

"your brow twitched."

you sighed, annoyance in your tone, and hyeju just stared at you, not even slightly offended because she knew you were irritated by the fact that she could read you this time, not with her specifically.

"what do you want, hyeju?" you asked, your facade gradually melting away. 

you avoided her calculating gaze, and maybe it was just your imagination, but you noticed a hint of softness swirling in her orbs. 

"i don't wanna go back out there just yet."

"i was not going to force you." hyeju said, shrugging.

you shared a brief glance. "then what are you doing here?"

it was hyeju's turn to look away, her face flushed with embarrassment. the words were on the tip of her tongue, and they plagued her mind, but she couldn't say them in front of you because she knew you'd tease her.

i wanted to be here with you.

so she swallowed the words and replaced them with her own remark to lightly tease you.

"the unnies told me to check on you. i didn't want to, but they threatened me."

when you went silent, hyeju took a look at you but quickly turned away when she saw your intense orbs. you watched the redness on her face worsen, but you didn't say anything and exhaled. you knew she was lying though. if the redness of her face wasn't enough proof, the way her eyes shook when they met yours was.

"what do we do?" hyeju asked after a moment of silence, trying to get you to open up.

you hummed, glancing at the plushie. "i don't know. i'm not sure."

"and how are you feeling?"

hyeju was met with silence, but she knew you were just gathering your thoughts, so she waited for your response, if you were going to respond at all. either way, she wouldn't mind and would stay with you, sitting next to you to offer you the support you desperately needed.

"nothing."

hyeju looked at you, watching your hair get in the way as you shook your head, hiding your misty eyes behind a curtain of strands.

"i feel nothing."

hyeju acknowledged you with a hum and reached out. her fingertips touched your skin, making you tense and her pause as she waited for you to push her away. when you remained silent, hyeju tucked your hair behind your ear and frowned as she finally caught sight of your eyes.

"i'm not gonna say we're gonna be okay because we both know that's bullshit." hyeju murmured, triumphantly smiling as she noticed the slight and quick upturn of the corner of your lips after hearing her curse. "but i'm…"

you looked at her, your ears perking up as she trailed off, and you saw hesitation written all over her face. hyeju scrunched her nose in disapproval as she prepared to finish her sentence, and you simply smiled, imagining the internal conflict going on in her head.

you weren't prepared, though, because her words came out faster than you expected.

"but i'm here for you."

you and hyeju exchanged glances, yours filled with surprise and hers with embarrassment. hyeju glared at you as you blinked, trying to process her words. when you did, you turned away because it was your turn to turn red, the color crawling up your neck and across your nose. hyeju couldn't see it because you had turned completely away from her, but she watched you as you scooted closer to her, still refusing to look at her.

"what are you—?"

when she felt your head land on her shoulders, her entire body tensed. her heart flipped in her chest, and her face turned even redder than it had been. you were also quiet, waiting for the younger girl to calm down before speaking.

"i can't stay."

hyeju opened her mouth to speak, brow furrowed, to say something in response to your statement, but you squeezed her thigh, preventing the refusal from spilling out.

"the company is shit and jiwoo's leaving. i love you and the girls, but if jiwoo won't be here, what is the point?"

hyeju remained silent to consider your words, shaky panicked eyes darting all over the place in panic before settling on your hand, where you had begun picking at your skin as you awaited her response. the younger girl, irritated, put her hand over your clasped hands, causing you to freeze.

"stop that." hyeju grumbled, causing you to huff.

"i'm trying, but it's a habit."

hyeju felt your finger move to poke your skin as you replied, so she took your right hand and pulled it over to her lap, intertwining your fingers. you blinked as you watched her stroke the red skin with her thumb, a red hue appearing across your face.

"if you're leaving, i'm leaving."

you hummed. "really?"

hyeju nodded, squeezing your hand. i have no reason to stay if you're leaving. she refused to say it aloud. however, she tensed up when she heard a small chuckle from you.

"is that so?"

"shut up." hyeju grumbled.

hyeju missed your warmth as you sat up properly, but thankfully you didn't pull your hand back and let the younger girl trace your soft skin. hyeju watched, eyes twinkling ever so slightly, as you laughed lightly in delight. 

when your gaze met hers, hyeju didn't see the usual blank expression or glare. she could only see you right now. therewas no mask, disguise, or act. hyeju could see sadness swirling in your orbs as you remembered jiwoo, as well as fear at the prospect of leaving the spotlight and the girls, but relief at her presence in the room.

hyeju was able to read you. hyeju could see it.

and so she flushed. 

she watched silently as you leaned in to plant a small kiss on her cheek, your cold demeanor melting away right in front of her, and squeezed her hand.

"thank you, hyeju."

hyeju looked away, humming in response. "of course, unnie."

you both heard a knock on the door and turned around, hyeju glancing discreetly at you and noticing your cold mask was back on. she couldn't help but be disappointed, loving the smile on your face earlier, but was also relieved she was the only one who saw it.

haseul's worried gaze met yours, as did kahei's soft smile, her gaze fixed on your intertwined hands. you followed her gaze and squeezed hyeju's hand before standing up and dragging her along with you.

"you ready to talk, y/n/n?"

you nodded. "yes, unnie."

kahei gave a soft smile. "alright, let's go. you need to eat, too."

as you made your way back to the living room, you glanced at hyeju and gave her hand another squeeze to make her look at you. hyeju raised her brows, her gaze falling on your lips as you mouthed her some words.

"thank you."

in response, the younger girl nodded. hyeju drew you in closer, silently promising that she would go with you anywhere. even if it meant leaving idol life, she'd be content as long as she could be with you.

you were aware of this, and you would make certain that hyeju, along with the girls, could escape the company with you.

besides, she's not going to let you go just yet.

hyeju still has something to tell you.

she must confess her feelings to you or they will haunt her for the rest of her life.

however, for the time being, her priority would be jiwoo and leaving the company with you.