#hx

Xie Lian couldn't watch this anymore, and he gently pointed out, "Lord Wind Master, why don't you put down the broom and we can talk things out?"

Shi Qingxuan was busy strangling that broom, and he whipped his head around to shout, "Hah? Your highness, what did you say?! I can't hear you!"

Shi Qingxuan: the sign at the beach bar that said: "A tan makes you look better naked. So does a cocktail. Your choice!"

He Xuan: a guy floating on a large flamingo shaped inflatable with a bag of chips in one hand

Feng Xin and Mu Qing: two guys came to the beach and immediately and efficiently dug a deep hole in the sand, jumped in and began to argue whilst drinking beer.

Hua Cheng and Xie Lian: a woman was complaining to her partner that she was hungry and he went to the beach bar and got every single snack they had for sale, plus two fancy looking cocktails and a seashell necklace.

Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe: a guy caught a bunch of still living snails in their shells and offered to pluck them out so his partner could collect the shells and make herself bracelets - much to the woman's horror, who insisted he put them back.

Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu: a guy collecting seagull feathers for his partner who got so annoyed doing it that he yelled to his partner that he might as well hunt a whole seagull

Lan Xichen: very sunburnt lady who, upon being applied sunscreen to help, said that "the sunburn is the least of my suffering right now".

Lan Wangji and Lan Sizhui: father showing his son different species of seashells on the shore and having to comfort his crying upon answering why the seashells had no living creature inside anymore

Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling: son was building a sandcastle and proudly asked his father to take a photo of it, to which father said "do you really want to remember this?"

Lan Qiren: man reading Sun Tzu while occasionally sipping from a flask, wearing a pair of flamingo patterned shorts

Jiang Cheng: man who saw a jellyfish in the water, picked it up barehanded and chucked it as far as he could in the sea

Lan Jingyi: kid who caught a fish and asked if he can gut it and eat it now because he hated the hotel breakfast

Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge: couple argued loudly on the beach at 7 am while applying sunscreen on one another very carefully and sharing a kiss before continuining to argue

Wen Ning: guy laid on the shore with hands on his chest like a dead person and his son put a bunch of seaweed on his chest

Shi Qingxuan: woman who wanted to tan topless and upon her friend telling her there are kids around, she said "good, it will remind them of their childhood".

Shi Wudu and Pei Ming: lady sipping champagne from a crystal glass next to man drinking beer from a huge plastic cup he rinsed with seawater

Liu Mingyan: lady watching Heated Rivalry on full volume right next to me

Shen Jiu: lady whose kids were being rowdy and noisy and she lowered her sunglasses a bit and they immediately shut up

Beefleaf being cute + bunnies, as requested by my darling @nagitolovebug 💖

Place your bets, I bet that sqx is not going to be sane after this 😜

What would each version do to sqx? Give me some ideas MUHAAHAH 😈

Reference:

(I personally think the latter but that's because I also headcanon him as spending all the time in the water so he's either constantly reapplying goth makeup and struggling through layers of that damn outfit, or he's got waterproof makeup and will walk into water full get up)

okay I got completely derailed by Always-In-The-Water modern!He Xuan actually, I can't stop thinking about that now. YES, this man always smells like chlorine, that's hilarious

As for what he'd wear, aesthetically I would want to say Goth King for SURE because he deserves it, but I suspect it would actually play out a bit differently. Out in public, he wears whatever he has to in order to present the image he wants, because this man is always scheming. Best actor in all of TGCF, he can mask like a mf and plays whatever role is most useful. But when he's in his lair at home he's goth in a depression-hoodie-over-comfy-clothes sorta way. The only reason he might have goth makeup on is because Shi Qingxuan insisted on doing his eyes on a Friday night and he proceeded not to wash it off for the entire weekend and gave himself raccoon eyes.