Blood stains someone's hands. Better mine than his.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom: Supernatural Ship: Gen (Michael & Dean, Dean & Sam, Lucifer & Michael) Additional Tags: POV First Person, POV Dean Winchester, Monologue, Lucifer's Cage (Supernatural), Post-Season/Series 05 AU, Michael Possessing Dean Winchester, Brotherly Angst, Hurt No Comfort Wordcount: 1,230 Summary:
Dean takes Michael on and throws him and Lucifer into the Cage, instead of Sam doing it. He's in Hell now, and there's no way out for him. Nothing like a captive audience.
Prompt:
"instead of sam trapping himself and lucifer in the cage, it was dean who said yes to michael and jumped"
You know what the worst part of it was? Looking Sam in the face and telling him I trusted him to see it through. No, that doesnât really cover it. Heâs my brother, I know him, every face heâs ever made. Itâs all stored away, just in case I need it, if heâs mad enough for the silent treatment or worse, keeping a secret thatâll get him hurt. He was always stubborn. You could see when youâd lose an argument or⌠or a fight. You could read the outcome by the set of his jaw, the sharp slant of his mouth, before the first punch was thrown. There was never any other way it was going to go. He knew he was right, and he knew I saw it, too. He wanted me to put the world on his shoulders and let it crush him, so the rest of us could live on doingâŚ
You donât give a shit what humans do when theyâre alive. They all burn the same, donât they?
We. We all-
We all float down here. Ha. See, thatâs why I couldnât let Sam throw himself into the pit. Did you know thereâs clowns down here? Demon clowns. Nasty sons of bitches. I couldnât let Sam ride out eternity locked up somewhere heâd be terrified. Though he probably wouldnât be that scared by the end. You adapt. However you can. Itâs about survival.
Thereâs an end, right? Thereâs got to be. The sun goes kaboom in a few hundred thousand years, and thatâs got to wipe everyoneâs slates clean. You, me⌠Maybe even that sulking douchebag in the corner over there.
Donât tell me if that graveyard showdown was the really how it was supposed to end and there's no other one planned, if you know. I donât want to.
He looks like shit from here. Probably worse up close. At least heâs used to it. Youâre not. I can tell. Itâs wearing on you.
You could talk back. It wonât kill you.
God, Iâm off-
Huh.
Donât want me invoking your Dadâs name?
Buddy, I think weâre damned for a lot worse than a little blasphemy. Attempted fratricideâs higher on the list, no matter how pre-ordained you call it.
Insult me to my face. And get more creative with it. I already know I disappointed my Dad. Iâve got a lot of experience. New to the club?
You arenât, are you? No, because I know what someone sounds like when theyâve been calling for days and Dadâs not picking up. I know what it feels like when you might die because he wonât come to the phone. This is a two-way street. Canât lie to the guy whose head youâre inside any more than I can to you.
If your Dad was anything like mine, he probably listened to you begging for help and still thought youâd be better off on your own.
Good job with that. Whoâs worse, the guy who lied to his dad about even finishing high school or the archangel who got his ass whooped by the drop-out?
Yeah, fuck you. Iâd keep talking even if you werenât forced to listen.
But you are. And we donât have shit else to do.
I told Sam Iâd trust him with this. I think I just didnât want to spend my last days alive-
Hold on, am I still alive? Whatâs the call on that? Heartâs still pumping, nerves still scream at me, so what gives? Can you die in Hell?
I donât know why I ask you anything.
I didnât want his last memories of me to be a fight. I think I was even ready to go through with it until I was looking at those empty jugs. There were people in those demons- Fucking- Demons. In those people. Good people. Weâd already killed enough of those, and sure as hell never added any more to the world.
Maybe Sam will now. Who knows.
He better not name that kid after me. Can you imagine? The worldâs had enough of Dean Winchester. So much it spat me into the devilâs asshole.
Jesus Christ.
Hey, if youâve got any power in you at all, you make sure he never laughs again. I think my soul just got sliced open by that sound.
So, Iâm standing there, staring at the trunk, all those empty jugs and bad blood dragging Sam down and I couldnât take it. Not one more. I wasnât killing them, and I wasnât going to let Sam take that blood on his hands either. So, I packed up. I left.
Cas was⌠probably still is out of juice, so I wasnât scared of being caught this time.
I hope heâs doing okay. Glad he didnât see me like this. Glad none of them did.
I couldnât look Sam in the face like this. Heâd think I didnât believe in him.
Maybe I donât. Thatâs not on him, damnit. Thatâs on your brother- Yeah, you! Stop eavesdropping! No, I didnât think Sam could wrestle with you and win! I shot you in the head, and you didnât go down. I wasnât going to let my brother be the next wasted bullet.
Talk to me like you know Sam better. Screw you, douchebag. You didnât know anything about him.
Now, you, on the other hand⌠I had no chance, no plan, nothing except the fact that you already thought I was ready to roll over. Your big mistake? You underestimated me. If you want to talk about pride, youâve got your brother beat. One yes, and you came charging in. Felt like swallowing the sun. While itâs exploding. You got in my head and I got in yours. Thatâs the deal.
Second mistake was pissing me off.
Look at him. Goddamnit, look at him, Michael!
Shut up!
Heâs your little brother! I donât care how far off the beaten path he goes, you donât ever hurt him! Maybe the rest of the world has got a devil to deal with, but you only ever have a brother! Thatâs whatâs supposed to matter to you!
You held him when he was a baby, and you took care of him, and you were his first word and the first thing he walked towards and the first one he trusted when he started thinking this life didnât fit right. And you fucked up! Do you hear me? You fucked up, and the last thing you ever did was cut him down when he tried to end this fight!
Because- because you could have walked away. I wouldnât have done this if youâd walked away.
I wanted you to. I hate him more than any evil son of a bitch Iâve ever hunted, and I still wanted you to walk across that cemetery and-
Never trusted our little brothers when we should have. Maybe there was a way out of this mess a long time ago, too, but we werenât any smarter back then. Just had more people around us to lose.
Heâs gonna be okay. Sam, I mean.
He has to be.
I donât think I could live with myself if heâs not. Not that I get the choice anymore.
Your brotherâs right there. He might look bad, but youâre doing worse. Ask him how he stands it.
It wonât kill you to say something.
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