Welcome to Haexville University Ejournal!
Life at the Haexville Campus can get pretty wild. Follow us to keep yourself and your friends updated on: the chaos of this month's cult wars, the Scientopathy Department's newest experiments, fresh gossip (straight from the members of faculty that will remain anonymous), whether the new cryptid summoned by students in the Nevther Village is safe to approach without a flamethrower and much more!
For those of you that often experience amnesia: if you're reading this, you live on the Haexville Campus, surrounded by the Malevolent Mountains. Not remembering anything of importance about the world outside of the campus is normal - we all experience that kind of amnesia in order to remain objective throughout our studies about the outside world. This site is part of the internet - a digital space mostly filled by advanced bots interacting with each other. You can ignore all of them, no one's sure but they're probably a byproduct of a failed astral projection of some Abstract Fields Dep. student. Or multiple students. You get the picture. The only real sites and accounts here are the ones acknowledging the existence of Haexville, as no one from the outside world has access to our net. If you experience amnesia regarding your life at Haexville often, immediately contact your department's hypnotherapist.
This Ejournal is a partially official site of the Haexville University. (Yes, everybody is still trying to figure out who has the authority to declare anything as official after the Head Dean went missing last October. We got our permission from Henry the Librarian Handler, if anyone's wondering.) It is run by an inter-department crew of students, and we are always looking for new members who want to become the voice for their community! If you want to contact us, you can do so either via asks on this site, the Rat Post (put in 8-HUE-Headquarters as the address) or summoning Herbert - who, as you can read in the section below, is a proud member of our crew!
HUE Crew Intros!
Caroline (She)[Founder and Head Editor]: Everything that appears on this website goes through her at one point or another. She's the spiritual mother of our organisation (She, for some reason, refuses to register us as a full-fledged cult and insists we're just an organisation?) and the literal mother of this whole project. She's in fourth year of the Future History major. She firmly believes that most cryptids on campus are misunderstood, and if you disagree with her on that, you may find a sculpture made of your kneecaps sitting on your desk at some point during the next 3-5 business days. Ophelia (She)[Head Journalist]: If you live in the Nevther Village, you probably already know her. The ultimate worrywart, the only relatively sane student majoring in Philosophy, the spirit of a sweet granny stuck inside a body of a 22-year-old girl. Nobody knows when she has the time to write so much articles and keep us all fed with her famous swamp-cooked meals, but she does and we are forever indebted to her. If you write to us and say anything mean about her, we will make sure you disappear, and we will do it using Ophelia's own notes about how to torture everyone she meets that she denies the existence of. Herbert (He)[PR Manager]: The one, the great, the only student of the Politics & Diplomacy Department, the bane of existence of all the professors in the Econometry & Marketing Department, the only guy on campus who can pull off wearing silver thigh-high sparkly 10,5 inch stilletos all year long for however many years he has already spent on this campus (we asked the oldest Rat-Postman we know, Herbert was here before them). We suspect that he doesn't sleep, for we've never seen him with his eyes closed. Yes, Herbert doesn't even blink. Also, a fair warning: he has at least three differing opinions on every topic and will somehow support all of them in one debate, and still win it in a fashion terribly destructive for his opponent. Caroline owes him a huge favour for letting us use his Department's building as our headquarters. Sasha (Xe)[Rat Post Handler]: A loud and proud Modern Technologies major, though xe thinks xe would do just as well in wood-working if the university offered it as a major. If you suddenly find your wooden furniture carved out with an intricate design, don't worry - it's not a work of a cryptid, it's just Sasha, and you should leave a thank-you note for xyr hard work on whichever piece of wood xe beautified for you. Xe'll greatly appreciate it, and won't carve in demon summoning runes into your bed frame the next time xe comes over. However, after a few incidents we implore you to not sign in blood anything sent out through the Rat Post by xem - we were told that the contracts xe writes up tend to be very manipulative. Oscar (He)[Photographer] - An enthusiastic freshman, majoring in - you guessed it - not Interpretive Dance, but in Photography! To be honest, we don't know much about him yet, but he's cute, so Sasha bribed us into letting him stay around and hang out. He's a bit creepy at times, but all photographers have to be in order to catch their subjects in good, moody lighting, so - yeah. He's cool. Just ignore him making pineapple spaghetti jokes. He's a freshman, he'll grow out of those. Minerva (They/She)[Editor & Journalist] - Obsessed with mycology, a Biology major with a sense of humour so dry we recommend only reading their articles when there's a source of moisture close by. (She's a teacher's pet. That's why we keep her. We don't actually support her love for statistics, but we have to pretend we do so that they keep on sharing the faculty gossip with us, and with you, Dear Readers. Please don't tell them that. Thank you in advance.)
Our Origins
We at HUE like to repeat that we came together because we have a mission. And that mission is...
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