I'm sorry, you're not worthy of a promotion or professional development. Please accept this ice cream cone as a sign of my appreciation for your hard work.

The V Cut the HR director wore was so deep I could tell you her cup size and bra color. She frequently fired people for violating the dress code.

My last paycheck kept getting 'lost' in the mail. It took sitting in the parking lot for 3 hours to finally get it.

No one wants to bring home a company laptop because they're worried the boss will turn on the microphone or camera and listen in.

My boss pulled me aside and told me how times for the company were really hard the last year so not everyone would be getting raises. I was a lucky one -- at a $0.05 increase. Shh... don't tell anyone.