#hreat

Day #1: The person you never told about your feelings. Write a letter to one person that you wish you would have told how you feel. Explain how you feel, why you feel that way, and why you never said anything.

Dear you,

God its been ages, but for me, it hasn't been long at all. I think about you every day. I wonder if I made the right choice--if I am even okay, without you. I wonder if I should have realized that I loved you when I had the chance. But, life isn't that easy. No matter how much I love you, it wasn't destined to be, because you moved on. 

I honestly don’t know why it matters to me anymore. We moved away, both of us. We live thousands of miles from each other, but still I can’t stop myself from being dragged towards you with a magnetism that reaches across worlds. No matter how much I doubt myself, your words ring in my ears. No matter how lonely I feel, your kiss lingers on my lips. I just miss you. 

Its not a general depression or anxiety that gets me anymore, but you. You are my disease. You are my addiction. I cannot live without you. You chose a path of life that led to fun. You chose a path of life that led to happiness, and well, I chose the wrong path. I chose steel. I chose industry. I chose work. As if money ruled the world, but doesn't it?

I would gladly give this world up now. Would gladly throw it all away for you. I would gladly, and with a smile, give anything I needed to give to have you. But, it’s too late now. I gave you up when I had my opportunity and it was the stupidest mistake of my life. I am sorry. 

I am not sorry to you. I am sorry to me, because I ruined my own life by not realizing that you were the best thing in it. 

I love you.

And no matter how far we get or how much we do, I will still feel that way. Even if the impossible happens and we both find love again, I will still love you. You never forget a person that you loved, and you are one of the rare, one of the few. The one and maybe the only that I could drop my walls for. The one and maybe the only that I truly loved.

You are brilliant, and I don’t mean that you are intelligent, though you are, but you see the world in a different way, in the way it was meant to be seen, because it is all about happiness. Somehow you see that, and you can conform to it. You are not me, with my OCD and perfectionism. You are not others with their craziness and overdoses. You are right in the middle. Right where life is supposed to be lived. You are what any person should be. You are everything.

I love you.

I am sorry I let you go because, now all I want is you, and had I known, I would have followed you to the ends fo the Earth. I would have fucked industry. I would have burned money, because now all I wants to be in your arms again. All I want is to feel your skin. All Want is to kiss your lips. All I want is the warmth of your body next to mine.

I love you.

But you will never love me, so it is with a heart that is broken, and a breath that is frozen that I must say what is to follow, that I must do what must be done, and truly mean it: