#hq fandom

Miya Atsumu wasn’t stupid. He knew that this was a battle he’d lose, whether it’d be in the long run or not. Yet something in the fake blonde’s body kept him from giving up. It was as if he yearned for the heartache and rejection from [name]. At least this was something he could have from her.

Maybe to him it’d be enough, and maybe it’d heal him from all his regrets of maybes and nots.

Why do you wanna know?-Six months ago, Nov 16

“Atsumu, do you know what Osamu likes to eat the most?”

[name, last name] was Atsumu Miya’s longest friend. At least as a girl. Many of his platonic girl friends lasted a month before feelings engulfed them. He couldn’t blame them, he knew he was an eye catcher.

Still among the others who could reciprocate his feelings, the one friend he thought of whenever he could was you.

The boy was in love, smitten with the girl. He thought of her in the smallest moments. From immediately picking up character merch that she liked at the convenience store to connecting colors and views he’d seen in his matches in someway to [name]. Perhaps this was the meaning of love to Atsumu.

“Why ya askin?”

“Because” [name] frowned “Yknow….”

“Nah I’m sure I don’t,” he teased, but in reality deep down he prayed to any and every god that the only girl he saw in his eyes, could spare a glance at him. He wished it wasn’t what he knew it’d be.

“You jerk, I like your brother, is that clear enough?” You say sarcastically as you look to him

Ouch.

“I think it’s been obvious, of course I know that”

Atsumu rolled his eyes. He wished he hadn’t.

It’s just a sweater-Dec 3

The new year was only a few weeks away. This time the setter knew what he’d wish for in his prayers.

Until now, advancing in his passion was his only wish among his prayers. This year would be different.

“Hey there Atsumu! Got any plans today? I don’t have clubs after school so I thought we could go to that new pop up stand later”

Oh how his heart raced at the thought of cozying up to you while the two of you walked around town in the cold. He had to calm himself down before answering,

“I do got a meetin’ but I dont got any games today, after my team meetin is over we can go”

“Okay then! I’ll meet you at the gym!!”

How Atsumu wished he could cherish this moment. Weeks of you gushing about his twin and begging for help to gain the attention of his counter part had drained Atsumu. Today was different. No Osamu, just you and him like the good old days… right?

3:50 pm - <I actually dk when Japanese schools let out but I’ll just say at 2:30 pm or smth>

The meeting dragged on until Kita finally summarized his words and the coaches let out.

Miya Atsumu had never stood up so fast, knowing that just beyond the courtroom doors stood you. He would apologize for making you wait so long in the cold, he’d possibly(if he gathered the guts to) wrap his scarf around your neck and usher you along to the awaited food stand.

However just as he snatched his bag up the bench and hurriedly gathered his things to the door, his coaches called him over.

“Miya, I know you’re in a hurry but we have something to discuss with ya”

Oh how he’d regret not bolting out that door sooner.

4:20 pm

At last his coaches released him as he shoved each foot into his shoes and frantically looked around for his girl. Not his, not yet.

He immediately spotted your familiar figure, with your hair tucked into your coat and your school bag wrapped under your arms, the keychains he had bought for you for each birthday dangling on one zipper.

He felt giddy as he skipped over only to be stopped by spotting another figure standing beside you.

Another familiar figure to him.

He felt his breath stop short as the world slowed and his vision only made him more dizzy.

This was another regret.

Osamu slips off his polyester sweater and offers it to the blushing you. He watches in gut wrenching horror as his twin buttons up the sweater.

It’s only been a minute or two but to Atsumu, he felt his whole life crash down on him. He doesn’t notice that the two of them had noticed him by now.

“Atsumu!!”

He blinks, woken up from his shock by your voice. He sees you skipping over all excited. He could practically see the sparkles shining in your eyes.

Atsumu wanted to imagine it’d be because of him. That hanging out today made you excited. But he knew you too well. It was just because of Osamus sweater wrapped around your body.

“Heya you’re looking excited ta see me” he bites out a grin but to you, who would notice, you only sees it as his signature shit eating smirk.

“Ready ta go? I’ll pay this time”

“Oh yeah, and do you mind if Samu goes to??”

If hearts were made of glass Atsumu felt his cracking further.

“I mean I don’t care but if he is he’s payin’ for his own shit”

Stuck in between - Feb 5

Perhaps due to his ego and snarky remarks to his peers the gods decided to teach him a lesson. His wish was far from happening.

“oh my gosh and Samu even complimented the onigiri I made for him!”

You squeal happily as you chatter.

Don’t I always say I love your food?

Atsumu could back away. Tell you that he doesn’t want to be around. Or even see other girls. He’s not obligated to devote his love to you. To you whose heart is taken by his brother. But he doesn’t want to. He tried multiple times in the past and even a few weeks ago, but all it did was remind him more of how that person isn’t you. And to him you were everything and arguably the most perfect woman for him.

6 months later PRESENT

It’s summer now, their second year of high-school had passed by.

Atsumu Miya lays in him dim room, bits of sunlight peeking through the blinds. But to him no amount of sunshine can light up his mood.

He had lost.

He expected it, he knew it was bound to happen.

But it still stung.

Blankly staring up at the ceiling he once look up to late at night when he couldn’t think.

You confessed at graduation to the other Miya.

His brother won the battle, though it was one sided.

Atsumu wondered if his brother would’ve backed off if Atsumu had told him. Told Osamu of his feelings to you.

It partially annoyed him that Samu never had interest in you at first. You were a treasure he got to keep for a while.

Your eyes.

Your smile.

Your everything.

He couldn’t be satisfied with how it turned out.

He regretted himself and how he didn’t do enough to have you more than you yourself.

“Out of anyone you could’ve chosen…it had to be one of us..”

-the end-

Omg this fic was just honestly a brain dump so sorry if it feels messy…I didn’t revise either due to it being a coping fic for personal issues rn. This is my first hq fic!! (It won’t be the last though) also first time writing for angst so it may be honestly bad- lol I’d probably reread this a month later and cringe badly… 🤫🤫🤫

Tysm for reading!!!

P.s. here’s a 🥐 for any people who feel sad after reading this (though I don’t think my writing is that good enough to trigger any emotions)