#hq!

“YOUR SETS SUCK! SLOPPY!”

kuroo tetsuro x kozume kenma

this was orinally posted to my ao3 like ages ago but i figured i would post it here too :p

warnings: implied/referenced self harm, body images issues, self-esteem issues, angst

“We were supposed to be forever, you know?”

“Well, some forevers only last a little bit.”

Neither of them can pinpoint exactly when their relationship started to fall apart, but they do remember the tension after fights, the tears that would well up on the corner of Kenma’s eyes, the clenching of Kuroo’s jaw because he was trying really hard not to break the closest thing to him. How Kenma would kick and scream every time he mentioned the pretty girl from his class whom Kuroo seemed to be obsessed with. How we would dig his nails on the palm of his hands every time he caught him eyeing any girl within 6 feet of them.

But Kenma had tried to stay. He tried being there when Kuroo couldn’t stand his own self at times, when the only thing he could truly believe in were the things set right in front of him. There was a time he could hear him cry almost every night because he didn’t have the strength to stand on his own two feet anymore. Kenma didn’t know how to comfort him then and maybe that’s what he did wrong.

And Kuroo was there when Kenma couldn’t bear his own reflection in the mirror because he didn’t have enough love for himself even if he did for everyone else (although he didn’t like to show it). Every time he took off his shirt he would see the faded dashed scars he had carved on himself because his own skin made him cringe in self-hatred. Kuroo never told him how beautiful he was to everyone else and maybe that’s what he did wrong

“It’s not your fault,”

“It’s not yours either,”

“What happened to us?”

“I think we just...fell down back to reality.”

They still had their good moments, though. Sometimes Kenma would get back from work and find Kuroo cooking breakfast food for dinner because he knew how much he loved vanilla flavored pancakes even though Kuroo hated the strong scent of it. Sometimes Kenma would surprise him with tickets to see his favorite rock band even though Kuroo knew he hated the crowds.

When the fights started to get bad was when Kenma knew that at some point Kuroo was going to realize how much better he was and leave him. He didn’t want his heart to be ripped apart like that, he wouldn’t be able to take it.

Kenma never imagined someone could love him as much as Kuroo did. He knows that; that Kuroo loves him, feels very strongly for him, he would do (almost) anything for him and cares about his well-being. But that wasn’t enough. He knew the relationship was uneven, he loved Kuroo more than Kuroo loved him and he didn’t want that. To be honest, they didn’t really expect to last this long. Yes, they’ve been friends for lifetime it seems but it’s different when love is involved. It was fine when they were young and a little stupid. It was fine because they were young and a little stupid. Kuroo was too good for Kenma, even if he had started out a little broken and scared, he was still the best thing that ever happened to him. That’s why Kenma did what he did.

“I’ll miss y-”

“Don’t say that. It makes it sound like we’re never seeing each other again.”

“You’re saying we can stay friends?”

“I am saying we’ll see each other again. Not as friends. Not as ex-lovers. Just as people.”

He was heartbroken. That was not what he expected, it’s not what he wanted. Kenma had wanted Kuroo to put up more of a fight.