Night Out at a Warzone
Every now and again my husband goes out to a warzone for work. An actual warzone. As a wife I would worry enough just the fact that he goes there for work. Guess what, he decided to go out on a night out over there, twice. The first one was when their team arrived at the Turkish border Iraq on the other side. It was only dinner he said, so I was like fine go on and have fun. But later messaged me that theyre going to have a few drinks, I was a bit ok with it but after that he messaged hes at the hotel already. Tried to call him but hes just canceling my calls and so I tried to call the hotel. Reception said that hes not back yet. He finally answered my call and found out hes still out. What a fucking liar. When confronted about it, he said he thinks its just better to lie than me getting worried and crazy. So ladies, do the maths, IRAQ+GOING OUT ON A NIGHT OUT = IM-FUCKING-NOT-ALLOWED-TO-GET-WORRIED. I feel so hurt once again. Have you ever felt that kind of worry? When you love someone you actually want for them to be safe. You dont want anything bad happening to them. The second is tonight, a week after. IS because hes still out there somwewhere as I type drinking away, this time in Erbil. I dont fucking know how safe or dangerous is the place but we spoke about this particular issue before. He told me about hopping in on a local cab before without security to go sightseeing. Idiot. But swore he would never do it again, never again blah blah. So we agreed hes not going to do anything stupid like that. And the fact that the airport has only been reopened for a few days, its not really as stable as he thinks. He messaged me tonight telling me about going out because one of the engineers called and invited him out and its only closeby and security is coming with them and all that. I called him and tried to reason with him about it. To just give it a pass its late and i dont think its safe to be going out and about in Iraq at night and that hes in a hotel so why just not drink there. He argued with me like a child telling me why is he being treated like a child and hes the only one not allowed to go and all. He then said firmly “I am going and il be back after a few drinks.” Its absolute torture. The feeling of disrespect, and that hes not bothered at all even if im worried. Its amazing how he doesnt care. I told him about safety and if something happens to him hes not the one whos going to feel all the pain. I feel like this to him is just about having fucking pints and lauging with the guys. Even we swore after getting into an accident recently, were not going to put ourselves in these kind of situations with huge risks. Help me God in this marriage.
