#holyf1esh

new them smiles, bares teeth, fucking laughs and pushes away from the wall she’s leaning against. slips closer to him, steps silent and too smooth. eyes glow with some distant chaos, she almost wishes she could burn him up right there. but, she’s curious, always will be. her worst curse.

a frigid hand reaches out, settles on his chest, and the look gen gives him is almost sad. almost. they flick some lint off his shirt, grabs some of the fabric and pulls him in. “there’s nothing here for you anymore, viktor, when the fuck are you gonna finally accept that?”

they yank him down, just to get his face closer to her’s, head tilting and expresion void. “like i thought you were smart, vik. but like i guess i’ll indulge you. if you tell me what that something is, you can get a treat.”

At least, he thinks so. It's hard to be sure of anything right now regarding the past. It lies out of his reach, a distant, nebulous thing that he can't rely on - but that in itself isn't so bad on it's own. It's everything else he's missing that he really hates. Motivation, purpose, meaning - they're all dependent on a stable sense of identity, and without that, there's nothing left to grasp onto... All that seems to remain in him are his emotions; always present, always acidic and unavoidable, even if there's nothing to anchor them to to explain what they mean.

Distrust clings to his bones like an old friend. And even deeper inside him is a pervasive, stubborn longing for something more than what he has... yet in spite of those emotions, right now, all he can seem to do is drift on aimlessly. The burning drive that once lit him ablaze has tempered out entirely, leaving him in a rather miserable state- that of a pathetic, broken man with very little left to give. He wants more - he knows he can't rely on anyone else for it - but he can't seem to bring himself to actually reach for it. Some piece of the puzzle is missing that might explain where all his motivation has gone... but as he is now, he has no way of knowing what that is.

Still. Before, Silco was someone who fought tooth and nail for everything he had. That part of him, he's sure - it hasn't gone away for good. But the exhaustion that seems to have buried his old self and the doubts he feels now... he wonders if he'll ever be able to overcome them?

"You've mentioned that before." he says, to the man who made him what he is now. Viktor is a mystery that Silco still hasn't quite figured out; but one who he has no choice but to rely on. It's been that way since he woke up.

"But I... don't think I really listened. What is it that you need from me, exactly?"

“        you  don't  really  believe  that,  do  you  ?      ”  he  asks,  a  hint  of  a  smile  tilting  the  corner  of  his  lips  despite  the  hint  of  worry  in  his  eyes.  while  things  had  been  a  bit  rocky  between  them  as  of  late.  his  attention  skewed  in  too  many  different  directions  rather  than  just  in  the  lab,  making  it  seem  as  though  he's  less  invested  than  he  is.  hextech  is  still  his  life's  work,  his  passion.  and  viktor  is  his  partner.  there's  nothing  that'll  change  that.  “        i  just  need  to  get  through  this  next  round  of  meetings  and  then  i'll  be  back  in  the  lab  every  day,     ”  jayce  promises,  his  gaze  earnest  as  he  reaches  out  to  place  a  hand  on  viktor's  shoulder.

mun  questionnaire.   ♱   accepting !

@holyf1esh  prayed  to  the  altar. paris  by  sabrina  carpenter   ♱   viktor.

❝  if  i  ask  that  boy  to  jump,   i  know  he  would,  ❞   valendra  says  firmly,   gaze  slowing  being  cast  from  the  subject  of  her  attention  to  viktor  at  her  side.   she  sits,   the  perfect  example  of  prim  and  proper  nobility  with  all  the  harshness  needed  for  survival  of  the  underworld.   valendra  is  nothing  if  not  a  woman  of  grace  in  the  way  that  she  carries  herself,   even  the  simple  turn  of  her  head  to  face  viktor  being  precise  and  calculated.   she  allows  herself  a  glance  back  at  the  man  that  had  captured  her  attention,   more  an  employee  of  hers  than  anything  else.   an  assistant,   one  could  even  call  him.   valendra  would  not  offer  such  formalities,   or  even  such  kindness.   he  is  simply  addressed  by  her  as  ❛ boy. ❜   something  almost  sly  crosses  her  features,   perfectly  maintained  eyebrows  raising.   ❝  he  does  as  i  say,   when  i  say  it,   as  is  the  nature  of  his  employment  by  me.   so,   no,   viktor,   he  is  not  to  do  as  you  ask.  ❞   pride  drips  through  her  tone.   pride  at  her  well  -  trained  man  for  having  even  caught  attention  in  the  first  place.

Of course, she's not foolish enough to think that she's flawless, and it's a skill that comes from practice and experience; not some sort of natural, god-given talent. But the point is that she's not very often surprised - not anymore. And yet, in spite of all that...

Right now, she feels completely and utterly caught off-guard. Her expression, which has lost it's careful guard, is one of stunned disbelief, and she feels too hesitant to move at all - though that's far from where her focus lies in the moment. There's silence for a moment, but then when Mel finally speaks; her words aren't calculated at all.

"What happened to you? Are you... are you really Viktor?"

@holyf1esh ♡'d for a starter !