#historicfailure

“Good morning”, you said as you dropped your bag onto the side of your desk. “Is that for me?”

“One of them, of course.” He offered you one cup, then waited. Waited for you to get settled, apparently. Because no matter how long you fiddled with the zipper of your bag, no matter how meticulous you were in arranging some notebooks on your desk, no matter how long you took — Kakashi was just waiting. Humming even to himself as he did so, but despite his relaxed behavior, you saw the dark bags below his eyes and the slight tremble in his fingers as he raised his own coffee cup to his mouth to take a little sip. 

A night’s rest wouldn’t do any miracles, in the end. And you doubted that he slept much in the first place. Too wired to sleep, too overworked to rest properly. Without thinking about work, all his never ending tasks, and the overshadowing guilt tainting every single moment of one’s life. 

You sighed weakly. This would be a long day, starting off with an even longer, awkward talk. “Can we do this later?”

“Why?”

“Because… I need to check my mails.”

“Then,” Kakashi huffed with an amused shine in his eyes, “let me just wait here. While you check your mails and all that.” Quickly, he sank into an empty chair he pulled from a nearby desk, crossed his long legs at the ankles, which caused the navy-blue fabric of his pants to ride up and expose a pair of ankles. Just for the midge of a second, your eyes lingered on the flash of pale skin, before rolling them up toward the ceiling and turning towards your PC with all the annoyance you could muster right now. 

“Fine.” Quickly, your fingers flew over the keyboard, typing out the password. “Until I’m done then, I don’t want to hear anything from you.”

Kakashi’s only answer was him locking his mouth with an invisible key, then throwing it over his shoulder. 

You had hoped to buy some time, but unfortunately, the only mails waiting for you were a few spam mails, industry reports entirely unrelated to the project you were working on, and a potluck-invitation from Gai. Not to you personally, but for the entire floor. 

“Luckily for you,” you looked up from the screen, “it seems no one wanted to inform me about anything, so I’m free.”

“Good.” Kakashi’s eyes twinkled, but before you could interpret that, the man got out of his chair with a little groan, stretched like an overgrown cat, and started to walk away. Only after a few steps, he turned, motioning for you to follow. And, with a queasy feeling deep down in your stomach, you got out of your chair, and followed. 

As soon as you stepped into the hallway, you looked towards the staircase. There, the faint sound of his steps as well as the low humming could be heard. So, up to the roof garden. Still, you dragged your feet as you climbed the steps, thinking about any possible angle. 

Tell him that he needs professional help. A therapist, at least.

Tell him what the problem is. Too much work, too little relaxation, way too little contacts outside of work.

How do I even start?

Your hand rested heavy on the door handle. There was a pause in your entire being, still trying to find words. And it was so goddamn hard. Even though Kakashi wasn’t your favorite kind of human in the office, it would be the right thing to do to just be…

“Honest”, you breathed out, then a quick, sarcastic smile tugged at your mouth. “Fucking honesty.”

A wind of gust greeted you as you pushed the door open. Gritting your teeth, you tried to push forward and close the door gently behind you - fucking heavy fire doors - but there was Kakashi, almost right in your face.

“Here, let me…” His free hand grabbed the handle on the other side, holding the door open long enough for you to step fully onto the roof garden, then let it fall close with a final, heavy thud. “Okay. Nice. So…”

You smiled, yet couldn’t meet his inquisitive eyes. “So.”

“What couldn’t you tell me yesterday?”

Straight to the point. Alright.

“Well…” Quickly, you took a few steps towards the railing of the roof, but kept your distance from the edge. “I hate to break it to you, but… you must have felt stressed for a long time now?”

Kakashi took a sip from his coffee cup. Somehow, you got the distinct feeling he wasn’t impressed with your start. “Yes.”

“And,” you pushed forward, “Sleeping problems? Do you have them?”

“No. Can’t have problems when you don’t sleep.”

“What a… progressive way to see it.”

“I always try to find a new approach to an old problem.”

“Right. So… the thing is…”

This time, Kakashi didn’t jump in with a distraction. No, he just took another sip, while his eyes were set on you, scrutinizing your every move and word. When you met his eyes, both of his eyebrows inched upwards, obviously waiting for you to say something. 

You breathed in. No time like the present, right? “You have burn-out. Probably. Maybe. I’m not a professional, of course, but I would definitely look into that.”

“Like I haven’t googled that two or three times already.”

“You already know?”

He dared to roll his eyes. “I may be socially inept, but I have some kind of intelligence. My question is, how do I make it stop?” 

“Why… I thought you wanted to know what was going on?”

“I know,” Kakashi sighed, “What’s going on. I know why I’m blocked creatively, I know why I cannot sleep through the night, I know why I blow up at the smallest fucking things. My question is, how do I make it stop so I can focus on my work?”

Fuck this man. Like honestly. 

“I worried the entire night to tell you that you’re so exhausted and stressed from work that it maybe developed into burn-out, and you’re just… trying to work more?”

“Well, obviously.” He took another, long sip from his coffee. “After I took so long and held everyone up, I need to make up for it. Right?”

You could only stare at him with an open mouth. “Kakashi, you’re… I have no words.” 

“Why not?”

“Because you want an easy solution for a shitshow of a problem!”

“Well, seeing that you’re alright now, after you left your previous office because of burn-out…”

Kakashi delivered the words so lightly, yet they hurt like a sudden punch to the gut. All the time, you worried about him and how he would take the news about himself, only to be sucker-punched by the fact he obviously did some research on you. Spitting it into your face like it was nothing; like all these months of suffering had been worth nothing. 

You took another few steps backwards. The air wheezed through your lungs just like the breeze which drifted around you, making you pull your shirt a little bit tighter around yourself. 

For just a second, you looked away from Kakashi, taking in the surrounding scenery of the roof garden. Roof desert was the more fitting word. Last time, you didn’t check too much, but even though the space was obviously meant for relaxation and spending some break time up here, it didn’t look the part. An old wooden bench, the paint had broken off mostly already, stood in the shadow of a dried-out potted plant. You had no idea what kind of plant it was, just that it wasn’t supposed to look like that. 

Then, a weak cough caught your attention. “I’m sorry. I did… some other people here came from the same firm and have told Minato at some point all the same stories.” 

A dry chuckle fell from your mouth. “That the boss was a piece of shit? Not paying enough and undervaluing work? Demanding overtime over and over again, until you were running on the fumes of already burned fumes?” 

The worst time of your life, slaving away with the feeling you weren’t good enough. That, to prove your worth, you had to fulfill every single one of your boss’ requests, with no say in the matter. 

Kakashi sighed. “Something like that, yes.”

“And what do you expect me to tell you, now?”

“If the stories are true. And what happened for you to be there and now…” Kakashi gestured vaguely around. “Here.” 

“What’s there to tell? A sad story about the world being a shitty place where capitalism and profit rules over the wellbeing of your workers? Or the tragic, yet every day tale of a young, fresh-faced worker being overburdened and burned out because as the new one, you feel like you have to prove yourself?” With a low sigh, you turned around, towards the fence. A soft breeze came up, sliding across your face like a gentle caress. “Nothing you haven’t heard before.”

“That’s true. But it’s your story. Your tale. So…” You could hear the man step forward, until you almost could feel him standing by your side. Below you, the surrounding buildings were illuminated by the sunlight, the glass glittering and the never-quite distant noise of the streets down below echoing between the cement walls. Kakashi sighed; a low, deep, subconscious sigh. “I want to hear it from you.”

“That’s maybe the most impressive display of shifting the attention from yourself away that I have ever seen.”

“Then a trade? You tell me your story, I tell you the truth.”

“Mhm, bribery. You’re thinking like a corporate overlord.”

“When it fits the situation, yes. Though, I don’t like to do it. I always get this deep craving for some children’s flesh afterward.” 

“Funny. You’re,” you closed your eyes as you leaned slightly forward, “you’re one funny guy.” 

He hummed. “Or so some people say.” 

You didn’t answer. Instead, you tried to accept that this was happening. That you would be explaining to Kakashi why exactly you were here, in this marketing firm. And not somewhere else entirely. 

And why I left. Remember that one.

“It was my first job”, you started, slowly, every word falling from your mouth like melted iron, “the first job right after my bachelor’s. So, of course, I wanted to prove myself. Especially when the firm just… straight up hired me. I had no idea that that was probably a bad sign.”

You paused, waiting for —without a doubt — a deceivingly “clever” comment from Kakashi, but nothing but silence echoed right back. So, you just continued, trying very hard to forget that the man beside you was even there. “I didn’t know it was a bad sign, they asked me to join big projects right from the get-go. I didn’t know it was probably a bad sign that I was asked to stay longer at the end of the first month. I didn’t know it was a very, very bad sign when I started to work through the nights, at home, trying to handle the massive workload I got assigned way too early.” 

You could still remember your feelings back then clearly. How excited you had been at your first job. The little nauseous feeling at the pit of your stomach when you were assigned to a big project. The weeks of work you poured into that project — the long hours, the nights you worked through, and the moment of pride when the project was presented to the client, and they liked it. 

“After the first project was done”, you continued, your voice a little bit rough around the edges, “and mind you, that was three months after I joined the firm, and helped out with a big client, I wanted to take some time off. Just a longer weekend, you know? But that apparently wasn’t possible.”

“Why?”

“Because”, you laughed bitterly, “someone else, with more seniority, wanted the exact same weekend off. Only one. Other. Person. And that would be enough to apparently make the firm crumble.”

Beside you, Kakashi moved around a little bit. Not much, just shifting his weight onto another foot, but it was enough to send a waft of his smell over you. 

“Of course, I understood”, you said, balling your hands into fists, “I always understood. Always said yes to everything. More workload, more work hours. And when I wanted to take some time off, I was mostly denied.” 

“Any reasons for that?”

“No good ones. Just,” you sighed again, “the same ones, reimagined. No other people were available to take over my workload, there were always new workers in need of guidance, the next big project would be on the horizon, and we couldn’t slack off. But somehow, there was always enough time for the bosses or their pets to take some time off.”

You didn’t mention it, but you knew Kakashi realized what you had been feeling in the past. 

The restless jealousy at seeing other people getting the day off, the resentment burning deep in your guts, the unshed tears behind your eyelids the more you worked and slaved away without even a hint of an acknowledgement. 

“That eats away at you.”

“Yeah. Of course, it does.” 

“And why did you leave?” 

“I fell sick”, you answered, easily, yet the memories felt as heavy as stones, “I don’t know if from stress and my body shut down or if it was something else. But from day one I got berated for being sick. That no one would take on my work, because obviously, I was just faking it. Even though I went through the trouble of going to two different doctors to find out what was wrong with me.”

“And they said…”

“Burn-out. And a nasty case of the flu, but the stress alleviated the symptoms. Weakened immune system and such. I was just… completely out of order. And instead of being able to recover in peace, my work place bombarded me with messages, calls, emails. One day, the guy who hired me even harassed me at my home.”

Kakashi gasped. “No. He didn’t.” 

“Oh yes, he did. Gross misuse of the data I had to give the company, but I didn’t pursue it. I should have.” The payout from such a lawsuit would have allowed you to not work for a little while, but considering that you didn’t have the time, nerves and patience for that… maybe it was for the best that you let it go. “I don’t know. Life became blurred at that point. But I became more and more aware that this wasn’t a way to live, at least not long term”, you mused dryly. 

The man snorted. “That’s one way to see it.” 

“Certainly, a shit way to see it.”

“Couldn’t agree more. But,” Kakashi turned, with his arms crossing over his chest, “how did you get out?”

Again, you smiled thinly. “The old-fashioned way. I handed in my resignation as soon as I came back from my sick leave.” You didn’t mention the fallout: the ugly reaction from your boss, the badly hidden bullying during your last two weeks, and the fucking relief when you finally could hand in all your work tech and leave that place for good. “I left, but what no one tells you is that the exhaustion stays with you. It… lingers. It never quite leaves you again, no matter what you do.” 

“I guess we have now reached the point where I have to open up, huh?” 

Finally, you tore your eyes away from the surrounding view. Unlike you feared, Kakashi wasn’t looking at you with the mind-numbing sympathy you had witnessed from some people you told about your past work-experiences. No, he just… looked at you. Really looked at you. When your eyes met, his eyebrows rose with a little, teasing grin flashing over his face, but it quickly vanished. Nothing more than a quick twitch of the corners of his mouth, before he went back to… analyzing you. Possibly combining the new facts he learned about you with the previous picture he had of you. 

“Ideally, yes. But at the same time, we spent now…” Quickly, you checked your phone, “at least 40 minutes up here. We should go back. And leave this talk,” you gestured vaguely between the two of you, “for later.”

“This evening, then? During work?”

You paused for a moment. “I guess so. Fine by you?”

Slowly, but definitely, Kakashi nodded. “Yeah. Fine by me.”

~ X ~

The day went by like gum — stretching into eternity, while some hours seemed to just be ripped apart. The early morning, for example, fell apart into the single tasks you performed, meanwhile the early afternoon and later hours went on and on and on. Only slowly, the office emptied out, and when it was time for Minato to leave, you were already feeling antsy. 

Still, it was earlier than usual when you gathered your things to carry them over to Kakashi’s neighboring table. Never — at least after that first disastrous meeting — you would dare to put your stuff on his desk. Kakashi was there still, one hand twirling an electronic pencil around his fingers, the other cramped around a mouse, frantically scrolling as he stared at the monitors in front of him. To your mild surprise, he wore a pair of glasses. 

“Should I be concerned?” you asked as you dropped your things at the table closest to Kakashi’s desk. 

He looked up, slight confusion flashing over his face, then his features lit up. “You mean, the glasses.” 

“Yeah. Never seen you wear them before.”

“I don’t wear them a lot, just when I can feel a headache form right,” he lightly tapped against his right temple, grimacing as he did so, “here.” 

“And what does that headache mean?”

“Not enough water, too much coffee and way too much screen time.” 

“The poison for every employee doing overtime.” 

“Right, right.” Kakashi chuckled dryly. “So, what needs to be done this evening?”

So, he wanted to act like the talk today never happened, or he forgot. More likely the former than the latter. A bit disappointing, really, but not that you expected much. Still, it stung a little, to have opened up quite a lot to him, and again getting the short end of the stick from Kakashi. 

Hey, I should be used to it by now. 

Something must have shown on your face - a hint of disappointment, a shadow of hurt, maybe. At least, Kakashi noticed something was up, as he pushed the glasses out of the way to cover his face with his hands. “I fucked up again, did I?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“The talk today,” he answered, his voice lowering like you two were sharing a secret, “on the roof. I… I didn’t want to just start with that, you know? Ease into it.”

“Ah yes. Because you gave me the same courtesy.” 

“Point more than taken. So…” Kakashi leaned back into his chair, scooting a little bit away from his desk so he didn’t have to crane his neck to look over the two monitors the entire time he spoke with you. His long legs came into view as he rolled around the edge. And for just a very short moment, your eyes fluttered across the expanse of the jeans-clad thighs.

Fuck him. 

Kakashi didn’t seem to notice. Hopefully, it stayed that way. With a few strands of his hair curling over his forehead, he blinked a bit sheepishly at you. “What do you want to know?”

That, at least, was an easy one. “When did you first notice becoming worn-out?”

You could see how the question sunk in, how he tried to find the right words for a moment, and even a hint of defiance. He didn’t like having to answer, but you assumed that some kind of honor and respect for the information you shared with him on the rooftop was still left in the man. 

Because he started to speak. Slowly, with lots of pauses in between the words, but he did speak. 

“I don’t… I don’t know exactly when I started to feel that way. Just one day, when… in the middle of a project, we were in the zone and everything… I just thought to myself: ‘I’m tired. I want to go home. I want to bury myself in bed and never get up again.’ And that thought… never really left.”

You didn’t say anything. Just looked at Kakashi, as he tried to articulate something he never really had to do, outside a therapist’s office, at least: speak about his emotions. 

He leaned back into his chair, his hands neatly folded in his lap. But you noticed the way his thumbs twiddled around each other, and how his knuckles turned white from the pressure he put on them. “Nothing really left. I am weary of everything. I’m weary of anything inside this office, the entire process of working, and yet… I always think about work. There’s not one waking moment which I don’t spend thinking about a campaign, an appointment or anything else but work.”

A never-ending fog hanging over every part of your life. You knew that feeling; the terrible dredge of the monotony and exhaustion settling deep into your bones, with no way out. There was no escape from your own thoughts. Mimicking him, you leaned back into your own chair, but your eyes were still firmly fixated on the struggling man in front of you. 

Kakashi sighed weakly, then shook his head. “The worst part about this is that I don’t feel like I… I don’t know, deserve to have…” He struggled to even name the sickness. “This is a good work environment. I’m getting paid well enough for my position. So… why am I this…” 

“Weak?” 

A short breath, and he nodded. “Yeah.”

“Because it doesn’t matter”, you said, “It doesn’t matter if the environment is nice, the pay is good, and that you have good bosses. It is just what it is now, and we have to learn how to live with it.”

“Is it ever going to go away?”

The big question, the biggest of them all. You shrugged, finally meeting his searching eyes. “So far, there’s not a definitive solution. It’s just… manageable, I think. But for me, it feels like there will never be a true end to it.”

“Why not?”

“You are aware that we work in a marketing firm, yes?” Broadly, you gestured over your shoulder. “There’s no escape from stress. We have to juggle different projects, the projects never keep coming, there are deadlines which need to be met, no matter what. Stress in this field of work is constant.”

At that, Kakashi didn’t say anything for quite some time. You weren’t about to pressure him. That would go nowhere, anyway. So, you flipped open your laptop, staring blindly at the screen. 

There was also no way in hell you could focus on work right now! When Kakashi was this close to revealing something about himself for once. Honestly, it should annoy you how much you were invested in him by now, when all he had ever done was annoying you and downright threatening your job security, but somehow, he had grown on you. Like damn mold infesting the very corners of an only hastily cleaned shower. 

The silence stretched into minutes. Way longer than you could withstand. Your fingers gently tapped a few keys without any real purpose, just moving across the plastic to fill the space with a little bit of noise. 

But he didn’t answer. You looked up, and almost snorted at the sight. He was clearly brooding. Like a hen sitting on their nest, waiting for the egg to finally open up for a little chick to enter the world. Full of misery and black feathers, you bet. 

Poor, little chick. 

Your mouth opened before your brain could react. “For the record,” you waited until Kakashi focused his attention back on you, only then you proceeded, “I don’t think we’re weak for feeling like this. The world is just a bit too fast for us, don’t you think?”

He smiled weakly. “Right.”

“Hey, say it like you mean it.”

“Right .”

You eyed him, but then shrugged. “Good enough. Now, what do you have in store for me today to work on? And make it quick, I want to get out, wrap myself in a blanket and mindlessly doom-scroll.” 

Still, you mulled over the confession Kakashi offered up. It must not have been easy to say all of this out loud. Maybe you gave him too much credit but acknowledging his efforts should be a given, right? The humane, morally right thing to do. 

“When will this be done? Do you have a timeline on this?”

You were only half-aware of Kakashi inquiring about something from Iruka. Your mind was in too deep with the next set of slideshows to present to the committee of Akatsuki next week. Painstakingly dragging one slide in Photoshop into a corner, making sure it was perfectly aligned, then adding and erasing the same effect a moment later. It didn’t add anything to the presentation, just unnecessary flourish which didn’t make any sense. In the larger scheme, of course.

“I just wanted to know-!”

“All the details you need are in the mail I sent you.”

A low sigh escaped you. This presentation was crucial, it needed to be finished by the end of the week, and half of the stuff in the presentation wasn’t even ready to be shown yet, thanks to the late start. It all had to be finished this week, and everyone tasked to handle the Akatsuki marketing campaign was working their asses off. Still, Kakashi and you were usually the last ones to leave the office. Absent-mindedly, you went through the motions of creating another slide for the presentation, before a sharp and louder than usual voice made you look up from your screen. 

To your surprise, Iruka stood up from his chair in front of Minato’s office to face off with Kakashi. The smaller, yet broader man snarled up into Kakashi’s face, the tanned skin of his face blushing from frustration and anger; two emotions you were all too familiar with when it came to dealing with the prick of a guy. 

“What is your problem?” Iruka reached up to tighten his high ponytail with a sharp gesture. “You have all the information you need in the email-!”

Kakashi interjected, his tone cold and just as sharp as Iruka’s gesture had been. “I’m not sure if you understand. I said that the deadline isn’t in the mail, I checked twice.”

“The deadline is in the mail, right in the second paragraph!”

“It’s. Not. In. There. How many times do I have to repeat myself, Umino?”

Both of your eyebrows shot up. What the hell was going on? Sure, Kakashi was an asshole sometimes, but you still had never seen him raise his voice like this. Especially not to someone like Iruka. Sweet, gentle Iruka, who was always friendly and ready to help out in the full capacity of his capability.  Which was extensive: despite being the same age as you, his parents apparently had built an extensive network and introduced Iruka to the world of marketing the day he was born. If Iruka didn’t know someone, they weren’t important, simple as that. Plus, he had worked as a teacher before. His scoldings were truly one of a kind. No one, in this entire firm, was willing to anger him, besides Anko. And Anko didn’t truly count, she was insane anyway.

Your hands continued to half-heartedly move the mouse and ghost over the keyboard, pretending to work, while your ears fixated more and more on the sharp conversation just a few desks over. 

“It’s right there! Check your eyes, Hatake.”

“Checked two times. There is nothing!”

“And I checked three times that the most important info you needed is in the mail!”

“Well, it isn’t. Just send me the info when you fucking have it.”

“You have all the info you need!” Just in time, you turned your head the tiniest bit to see how Iruka stormed around his desk to check the mail in question personally. Everyone close by seemed to hold their breaths in the next moments, only disturbed by the furious clicks of his mouse. Then, a triumphant snort, and Iruka jerked upright, glaring at Kakashi. “Check it yourself. And maybe get your eyes checked as well, while you’re at it.”

Iruka pointed at his screen. Kakashi clicked his tongue, but followed suit and walked around the desk to check the other man’s screen. A few seconds passed, then Kakashi, without another word, turned and walked away.

“You’re welcome!” Iruka called after him, only to shake his head. “What a fucking prick…”

What the fuck just happened? You surely weren’t the only one left flabbergasted at what just happened right in front of the entire office, right? With Kakashi being blatantly wrong and not coming out on top somehow. Even though you weren’t a fan of his anymore, you at least could see that this wasn’t his usual behavior. So far, you experienced him as sometimes mean-spirited or socially inclined, maybe cold and nonchalant, but never openly heated. This fight was strange and not typical for the man.

~ X ~

“I noticed your little altercation with Iruka today.”

“Mhm.” Kakashi only hummed, refusing to elaborate further. Understandably so. Deep into the evening, with the open office once again empty, you had felt secure enough to start a conversation with him. 

“What was that one about?” You leaned over the desk, arms crossed and eyes transfixed on the man, who was trying to busy himself with typing up a fitting proposal for the upcoming presentation. “Something about a deadline?”

“Yeah”, he sighed. For another long moment, he stayed silent, eyes glaring at the screen like he would find the answer to your question there, but then his look cleared. His fingers quickly flew over the keyboard once more, like they had never stopped in the first place. “I ordered some print materials for the presentation next week. Didn’t get any info so far if they were able to finish them on time or not, so I tried to get an inquiry on the timeline.”

“And…?”

Suddenly, Kakashi pushed his chair away from the table. Both of his hands rose to scrub wildly through his hair, to the point the motions looked almost painful. “Iruka sent them in that godforsaken email, and I misread it. I thought he forgot to include the date, but it was in there.”

“Oh. Okay.” 

It wasn’t Kakashi’s style to escalate a situation like this; with angry voices, sharp tones and tense nerves. Over the last few weeks, he had been stressed for sure, and yet you didn’t think he was someone to get easily angry over an honest mistake like Iruka could have potentially made. And for Kakashi to be so tardy to misread a line and completely miss the information he desperately waited for? No, that also wouldn’t be like him. Something else was amiss here. 

Your mouth already opened to comment on his behavior, but your brain shut it again before you could get any words out. Kakashi knew he fucked up. He obviously did, and blamed himself for it. You didn’t have to tell him. The most sensible thing you could do was help him out a bit. Of course, for the sake of hopefully restoring some peace in the office and making sure Iruka wouldn’t rightfully take gruesome revenge on Kakashi. 

“Iruka likes the Ichiraku instant cup noodles.”

For the first time, Kakashi looked properly at you. His eyes flickered upwards, dancing over your entire face. Your words didn’t seem to properly register for a few seconds. After a few more moments of blind staring, a light seemed to go off above his head. “You mean…”

“Buying him some of the XXtra Fire Spicy kind might be a good peace offering”, you said, then gently tabbed against your nose. “You don’t know this from me, though. Anko would kill me if she ever finds out I’m handing out her bribery-info like that.”

A quick grin flashed over his face. “I wouldn’t dare to rat you out. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” 

“I have to ask, though.”

“What?”

“Why?” 

“Because…” You breathed in, trying to find the right words. “Because an angry and vengeful Iruka could throw some stones into our way. Because I want to make this work now. Because why not?” You shrugged weakly. “Does there have to be a reason at this point?”

Kakashi shook his head. “But I liked to hear your reasons. They’re all pretty damn good.” His eyes flitted again over your face. Down from your eyes to your nose and further below, lingering there, then up again. He pushed himself even further away from the desk, then sighed again. “Sorry for this mess. I will fix it.”

“All good. Nice to see I’m not the only one who has to suffer under the terrible reign of Kakashi Hatake, entitled egomaniac and incredibly conceited on top of that.”

That made him at least chuckle. “Egomaniac and conceited? Hard to beat.”

“I could have added self-absorbed and thoughtless, but hey. No need to be cruel.”

You watched how the new creases and wrinkles around Kakashi’s eyes deepened with his tired grin. The little dip in your stomach at the sight was promptly ignored and pushed aside, into a forgotten corner, where your admiration for the man rested after discovering how much of an asshole he could be. 

~ X ~

Seeing your face today made coming to work worth it. 

Keep it up!

~ X ~

“Kakashi, could we speak for a moment?” 

Of course, he expected Minato to come to him. Not after this fucking colossal mishap of a social interact he had with Iruka. 

I can’t be burned out. I feel fine enough. I just need to get through this campaign, then it will be alright. 

It’s my fault the campaign takes so long. It’s my fault, I have to keep the team here for overtime almost every night. It’s my fault Minato and Kushina have to beg for extensions on the deadlines for the campaign, because I took so damn long to get one single fucking idea.

I can’t let them all down. When this is all over, I can rest again, or even think about the off-chance of being…

He didn’t want to think about it, didn’t even name the sickness in his thoughts. Naming it gave it power, made it real, made it terrifying enough to shy away from it. Minato asking such questions in the first place said all Kakashi needed to know. The quality of his work had diminished, worsened noticeably over the last few months. Had others noticed as well? Were they looking at him, trying to see if he was failing? 

 ~ X ~

With the weather turning against, the sky turning bleak and cloudy every so often, and with the long hours of work filling your days, it was no miracle you felt more tired than usual. Sometimes, right after lunch, your eyelids began to drop, and the afternoon always turned into gum with how long it seemed to stretch out. But it was necessary, so you dutifully noted down all of your overtime, gritted your teeth and brewed extra strong coffee with the new machine in the break room. 

You could see the toll also in Kakashi. Apart from his ever-present eyebags, more often than not he was yawning, one hand lazily covering his mouth. His posture was even more slumped than usual, shoulders dropping and spine slouching to the point you wanted to ask him if he was suffering from some spinal injury. Sometimes, especially late in the night, when him and you were the only people left in the office, he would space out. 

“Hey, I looked over the time schedule Itachi sent, and Akatsuki wants to reschedule the next appointment for an update on the campaign.”

After a few moments of absolute silence, you looked up. It took a bit for your eyes to adjust, going from the brightly lit screen of your laptop to the dim surroundings of the office. By now, it was customary to move closer with your laptop to Kakashi’s desk, as he was insistent on working at his own desk, “where everything is where it’s supposed to be and I can find everything”. 

There was no one at the desk. You strained your eyes, peering through the curtain of tiredness hanging over your mind. Strange. Kakashi hadn’t gotten up, right? You would have noticed. With a twinge in your stomach, you got up. And instantly spotted him.

He was sleeping. Kakashi was sleeping, upper body draped across the desk, face squashed against his arm, which was protectively laid out over a bunch of paper, the pencil still loosely held up by his fingers. Only illuminated by the screens in front of him, where flickering lights showed off the latest Akatsuki-promotion videos they produced in house and Itachi sent over as a directional tool, he seemed so…

Young. 

Younger than you had ever expected him to be. Carefully as to not wake the man, you leaned in, trying to figure out what was now so different. Maybe it was because the wrinkles around his eyes had softened. Or because his mouth was slightly open, mumbling weakly but without any coherent wording. Or because for the first time, there were no pretenses for Kakashi to hide behind. 

Your heart fluttered weakly when he mumbled again, pretty lips opening and closing, before a sigh drifted past his mouth. Up so close and without any defenses, it was so easy to forget all the reasons why you should stay away. Kakashi was all light; silvery mysterious moonlight, only disturbed by the small dot of a dimple right below his mouth. 

Stop this. It’s creepy as fuck.

With a shake of your head, you stepped fully around the desk. He had to wake up, and even more so, get out of this office.

“Hey…” Gently, you reached out, poking your index finger into his shoulder. Once, then twice. “Kakashi? Wake up.”

A weak grumble erupted from him, but nothing else. Again, you poked him, this time a bit more forcefully. “Hey. Wake up. You can go home.”

“Mhmm…” Kakashi pulled a face, eyes still closed. One of his hands came up to shield his face from any light, sound or your contact. “Five more…”

“Alright. Don’t blame me though when you have a stiff neck in the end.” You backed up, already trying to forget how Kakashi looked like when his face was crumpled by a good nap, when the man shot upright. 

“What-?” He yawned widely, eyes quickly blinking away the last bits of sleep. “Where am I?”

“Still in the office. Had a good nap?”

“Unfortunately, one of the better ones I had lately.” 

“Trouble falling asleep, ah. Can’t say I’m unfamiliar.” And you meant it. 

Kakashi shrugged. “Or staying asleep. And yet…” He fell silent, eyes glazing over and staring emptily at the blue-lit screens in front of him. You nearly expected to see a string of drool dribbling down his chin, but then, he seemed to wake up from his weird trance. “Sorry for keeping you here. You can go, it’s already…” 

“I’m not going,” you said, while Kakashi tried to check the time with bleary eyes, “before you have gotten out of your chair and come with me.”

“But…”

“I’m not up to argue this point right now.” 

For a very long second, Kakashi seemed to actually want to argue. The sharp crease around his mouth deepened, gnawing at his inner cheek. You sharpened the look you gave him; just a bit more edge and bite in your eyes, then he nodded in defeat. 

“Sure. Let me just grab my laptop and-!”

“You’re leaving the laptop here as well.”

That, however, got you a stronger reaction than you thought. 

“I can’t”, Kakashi shook his head, “I can’t leave the laptop here.”

“Yes. You can. There’s literally no reason why you couldn’t.”

“But there’s so much work to do!”

The realization of what exactly was happening wasn’t a sudden one. No, you had suspected in the back of your mind what was exactly going on with Kakashi. His uncharacteristic snappiness towards other people, the mistakes and sloppiness, him falling asleep yet panicking, all of those were hints leading toward the real problem. And now these familiar lines. Lines you had said yourself a while back, with a pounding heart in your throat and bile gathering in your stomach. These fucking lines, all too familiar and still numbing your self all the same. 

You paused, mouth slightly open as you tried to find the right words. Words you had needed to hear from someone. But it was still Kakashi Hatake.

You and him weren’t close. Not that close, in fact. And you suspected that no one else, but his parents were close enough to say them, and you also suspected they hadn’t noticed anything uncommon with their son yet. 

“Kakashi”, you started slowly, “if you continue on this campaign in your state, you will regret it later. It is of no use to anyone if you force yourself to be creative like this.”

“We have no time, we still have so many things to do, and we’re behind because-!”

“We’re not so far behind anymore. We did so much work during the last weeks. Kakashi…”

He shook his head, all sharp, jerky movements. “No. No, it’s because of me. I have to… I need to make this right.”

“You already did. Listen.”

The man still shook his head. Caught in a loop, created by his state and exhaustion. Probably also due to sleeping troubles. “I can’t, there’s still some color schemes left to talk over, I need to adjust the…” His voice trailed off, drifting away like a sigh swept away by a sudden gust of wind. 

“Kakashi.” You reached over, fingers touching and tugging at the soft fabric of his comfy, oversized sweater. “Listen to me. You did enough for today. Tomorrow, we can do more stuff. Tonight, you take a shower, you get yourself a nice meal, and try to have some sleep. It is okay.”

But he wasn’t listening. His eyes were bearing down on your hand, intently following the movements of your gentle tugging, before sliding right up your arm and further up to the curve of your shoulder, the dip of your neck, and right up to your face. 

“Kakashi”, you tried again, “You can go home. It’s fine.”

“Why do you care if I leave or not? It’s not like you particularly like me.”

“I came to tolerate you. Besides, I still need you.”

“For what? For not having any ideas? For not being creative enough? For making shitty, stupid mistakes and holding everyone up?” His voice rose, the tone frustrated like you had never heard him before. Like a dam was broken, the water breaking free and ripping away all of his inhibitions and usual restraints. “I’m trying so hard to make things right because I know that I fucked up by not having an idea for ages, then for being indecisive, and now everything is too much! I’m fucking drowning over here, and I know I shouldn’t ask for help because I do not deserve to feel that way!”

For a moment, Kakashi looked like he wanted to continue his tirade, but then he deflated like one of these balloons parents get for their kids on a holiday; one moment filled to the brim with helium and the next, slowly releasing said gas into the stratosphere while flattening with every passing second. “I just…” He shrugged, voice meek and flat and so tired, “don’t know anymore.”

“Kakashi, I…” You sighed. Fuck, this situation was a whole-ass mess. How were you supposed to handle this? Of course, you had a pretty educated guess what was happening to Kakashi, and you were pretty sure he was thinking of the same thing already. But you weren’t really in a place where you could just tell him that, right? Because thinking and actually speaking the condition into existence were two completely different things.

“Kakashi”, you started again, all the while still reaching out and gesturing to him to step out from behind the desk, “I understand what you’re going through right now. Better than you might think. But I’m not going to have this conversation right now with you, when you should really be on your way home. Go home. Rest. And tomorrow, we can speak about it in depth, okay?”

“For sure?” 

“Yes. But go home, please.”

For another, horrifyingly long moment, he just stood there. Motionless, with only his eyes scanning your entire body up and down, before he nodded. Slowly, but he did. “Okay. I go home now. Happy?”

“Cut the moody teenager shit with me, Kakashi.”

“Sorry. I just…” His eyes scrunched close, groaning as he did so. “Fuck. I’m an ass.”

“Good. We’re agreeing on one thing.” As you watched how the man packed his things up — he left his laptop on the desk, you noted — you were already trying to puzzle together what to say tomorrow.

“Seriously?” There was no one else on the floor left. All the desks were empty, PCs shut off and lights shut down. One look at a nearby clock made you wince. Fuck. It was closing in on 8PM, nearly three hours after you usually left for the day. 

Your eyes wandered to the doors leading towards freedom, fresh air and a good night full of sleep. Potentially a quick meal as well. Right on cue, your stomach rumbled, loudly demanding anything to fill it, preferably something fatty and hearty. 

“Well, that was clear.”

“Holy-!” You flinched around, one hand flying to your chest. “Fuck, you can’t just-!”

“Sneak up on people?” Kakashi sounded annoyingly unapologetically. The creases around his eyes deepend by a notch. “Yeah, so I have been told a few times.”

“Then why don’t you listen?”

He shrugged. “It’s too much fun seeing the reactions.”

“Oh, you-!” Just barely, you bit your tongue. Nothing you could say would affect him or change his behavior in any way possible. Better to save your energy for the task you still had to complete. “Fine. At least I’m awake now.”

“To do what?” Kakashi nodded at your PC. “Work more? While I can hear your stomach grumble from here?”

“Not much of a choice. The questionnaire is nearly done. I just want to get this over with, then it’s at least,” you rolled your eyes at the screen, glaring as you did so, “done for today.”

“True that, true that.” He nodded slowly. “Then maybe, this will help.”

Only now, you noticed the small white plastic bag in his hand. He placed the bag on your table, eyes fixed on your face and with the small creases around them still in place. “Tadaa.”

“What is that”, you asked as you were already stepping closer, “some kind of bribe attempt?”

“Possibly. Is it working?”

“Depends on the bribe.” Cautiously, you pulled the plastic away to reveal white paper, made to hold together food. “Say, what did you get me?”

“Maybe, if you would stop treating some food like I hid a bomb in there, you could find out yourself.”

“Or you could just tell me.” Despite your words, you picked the mystery food out of the bag and started to unfold the waxy paper. The instant you saw some luscious green and the bright red of a tomato peek through the white, you knew what Kakashi had purchased. “You went back to the café?”

Kakashi hummed lowly. “Yup. Saw you sitting here still when I wanted to go out myself, and thought you could use some food. I even asked you, but you were so out of it you didn’t even react.”

You winced. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. It has been… a long day and I wanted to get this done.”

“Hey, I get it.” His hands rose before they dropped back to his sides, hands sneaking in the pockets of his pants. “Sometimes, work is just swallowing you whole. Hard to tear yourself away.”

“Yeah.” Carefully, you freed the BLT-sandwich from the paper, until you could take a first cautious bite. It was just as delicious as you remembered from yesterday. “Fuck, this is great. Thank you.”

“No problem.” Kakashi still smiled as you took bite after bite from the sandwich. “Just wanted to make sure you’re not devouring the table or something.”

“Because Kushina would have to replace it?”

“Something like that.” He paused for a moment, before pulling out Kurenai’s chair and sitting down. It looked like he wanted to get comfy and stay for a bit longer, and now as you had a bit of food, you were more than willing to allow him that. “How are you doing?”

Between bites, you thought for a moment. “It’s going good,” you paused slightly, trying to find the most fitting words, “I think. Just taking a bit longer today than I expected. I want to get this questionnaire done, just so we can continue with the next step of the campaign.”

“No, no.” Kakashi chuckled. Like it was an instinct for him, he leaned further back in the chair, silver hair falling into his face. “I mean, how are you doing? Not work.”

“Oh.” That you didn’t expect. Not at all. You paused for a few seconds, taking another bite as you did so. “I guess… It’s good. It’s okay, right now.”

“Not too stressed?”

“No. It’s… it’s really alright.”

“Okay.” Kakashi nodded slowly. His dark eyes bore into yours, and you found yourself caught in a snare. Like a rabbit sitting right across a snake, enraptured and hypnotized right in the face of danger. Because Kakashi was danger, in every sense of the word — for you as a member of the marketing firm, and for you as a human being. Because, as you were again painfully reminded, Kakashi was, well, beautiful. 

Even now, in your exhausted, tired and yet wired state of too much energy due to work and freshly refueled with delicious food, you were more than ready to admit that he was. There was a reason why he could easily flirt with the secretary downstairs, or get phone numbers pushed onto him like crazy. Even though he didn’t try hard, his silver hair, slouched posture speaking of his overall nonchalance and the casual yet somehow chic way of dressing himself, really worked out for him. Subconsciously, you tried to straighten yourself out as well as brush off some bread crumbs off your chest and mouth. And wait, wasn’t there also some sauce stuck to the corner of your mouth? 

Kakashi chuckled. “Something the matter?”

“No.” 

“Well then…” Again, he nodded, only to get up and put his hands back into the pockets of his loose pants. “I’m going to go, but don’t stay for too long.”

“Sure. It’s just a few more questions, anyway.” You shrugged weakly, like it was no big deal. 

He hummed. “That’s what we all think, but before we know it, we’re working until midnight on the smallest of details to get it just right. Take care.” And with that, he just… up and left. Didn’t wait for you to answer, just walked away, like he just hadn’t handed you a sandwich, asked about your wellbeing or gave you some friendly advice. Carefully, you looked down at the rest of the sandwich in your hands, only to take another bite. This time though, you were cautious, tasted the entirety of the sandwich and tried to treasure it. 

Fuck. He is nice to me now. This feels… really, really weird. Somehow. 

~ X ~

Long evening yesterday? Good job in getting the work done, but remember to rest well today. You deserve it. 

~ X ~

The questionnaire was doing well so far. You wanted to say the questions were good and well received because they were all created during a long yet productive all-nighter, the reality though was that after you finished the sandwich Kakashi gave you a few days back, you simply went back home. Next morning, with fresh eyes and mind, you were able to look at the questionnaire once more and find several typing errors and clarity issues, which would have impacted the research severely if you didn’t fix it. 

Looking at the results, lots of people noticed the change of the brand Akatsuki from being cozy, well-fitted home clothes to a more expensive lifestyle-brand, not aimed anymore at the masses. Honestly, you hadn’t needed the questionnaire to tell you that, but it was nice to have something on paper to prove to the managers of Akatsuki that this was how their brand was seen. 

After a day of compiling all the results into a single document, you were happy, noticing that you only stayed for a bit longer than your usual working time. You would still be able to go to a nearby store and get one of the ready-to-go meals, so you could have a lazy evening tonight! 

Quickly, you packed up all of your things. In the process, your eyes wandered around the room. There were quite a few people still there, but none of them looked like they would stay for more than two hours, max. Anko definitely was staying for a bit longer, she had already said so during your shared lunch break. For a second, you thought about saying your goodbye’s to her directly, but when she grumbled loudly, only to curse and smash her flat hand onto the desk in front of her so hard that several pens and pencils scattered around the table flew into all directions, you decided it was better for your own safety to keep your distance. 

But as you took the first steps towards freedom, your wandering eyes also flew to the corner of the wide open office, where Kakashi’s table sat in his little, secluded alcove. And there he was still, just barely visible over his two wide screens, some wisps of silver hair peeking over, illuminated by the blue hue of the screen-lighting. 

I should probably check up on him.

Ah, he is fine. He doesn’t need me asking if he’s alright.

Kakashi suddenly groaned; so loudly that your thought process came to a screeching halt. You watched how he got out of his seat, but not to pack up his things and leave as well, but to grab his coffee cup and march right past you towards the kitchen. Without a doubt to grab some coffee, potentially staying late to work on something.

I probably should do something for him.

Why the fuck should I?

Because he got me something to eat yesterday.

I don’t have to.

He didn’t have to, either. And what did he do?

… Got me a sandwich.

Just barely, you kept an eye roll in. Right. As far as you were concerned, you owed Kakashi something in return. And even after a long day of work, you could at least do that for him. After another moment of hesitant annoyance, you adjusted the strap of your bag again and walked towards the break room. Even from a few meters away, you could hear the barely concealed slamming of cabinet doors as well as Kakashi’s irritated grumbling. 

Do I really want to annoy him in this state? 

Before you could rethink your decision, you looked around the corner. And winced at the sight: Kakashi obviously wasn’t in the best of moods. The man was standing beside the coffee machine, cursing under his breath all the while watching how the coffee slowly pooled into his cup. As you watched on, he unfolded his crossed arms to angrily comb through his hair — or, to be more precise, to pull some of it out with the force of his motions. 

Gently and already regretting the motion as you were reaching out, you rapped your knuckles against the doorframe.

“Hey…” When Kakashi turned slightly to look at you, you nearly shrank back behind the corner of the door. Why again did you have to say anything to him now? “Just wanted to ask if you want anything?”

With his eyebrows furrowed and forehead wrinkled up, Kakashi stared at you for a few seconds. Then, he closed his eyes and a big sigh dropped from his mouth, dropping his shoulders and attitude with it. “Ah, fuck. I thought I was alone.”

“Well, in a few minutes, you will be.” That wasn’t what you expected. At all. Slowly, you stepped into the bright, cold light of the kitchen spilling through the open door, while gripping the strap of your bag tightly. “I was just asking. Because of…” 

He nodded. “The sandwich from last time. Don’t worry about it. I’m not hungry.”

“Oh. Uhm, okay. Well…”

For a few more seconds, you waited. Kakashi only looked at you, unflinching and unyielding. The silence stretched into eternity, and instead of thinning and out and ending the talk naturally, the air seemed to thicken with every passing second. 

“If you don’t mind,” Kakashi suddenly spoke up, just when you tried to turn to leave, “would you take a look at some ideas I have? I’m… fucking stuck right now.”

Oh. 

“You’re stuck?”

“Yes.” Again, one of his hands flew up to comb furiously through his hair. “And I hate it.”

He didn’t elaborate, didn’t explain more than that, didn’t even attempt to. His dark eyes just focused again on the cup of coffee, staring and brooding and… being a bit more like the anti-social bastard he had been to you all this time. 

Just this once, then we’re even, and I can let this go, you told yourself. Just this once, and I don’t have to talk to him ever again. 

And it would be beneficial to take a look at his first plans for a campaign, anyway. High time for some in-team communication and all that. 

“Okay.” You shrugged weakly, while internally praying that it wouldn’t take that long. Turning around, you sighed internally, but just dropped your stuff by your desk as you passed by, eyes set on the dimly lit corner of the open office. A few lights around the office were on, but in Kakashi’s corner, only his computer screens were illuminating the looming darkness, painting shadows across the nearby walls of his little alcove. A cave for this man-troll. How fitting. 

Suddenly, the man brushed past you. His scent filled your nose, lingered uncomfortably, only to dissipate after a few deep breaths in.

“Hiding your porn?” you asked, tone only slightly mocking. “Must be really disgusting if you’re running.”

Kakashi was bent over his keyboard. His hand moved; moved the mouse quickly. One, two quick clicks, in which you closed the distance and managed to take a first peek at the screens. To your disappointment, there was nothing incriminating there, just lots and lots of pages of Akatsuki-clothing as well as the opened Photoshop program. 

There wasn’t much to see. A half-finished moodboard, you guessed, with lots of quite meaningless objects slapped onto one side. The other half of the layer was empty. Your eyes dropped to the desk, which was overflowing with mess, notes in Kakashi’s chicken scratches, and a few scattered pens and pencils, one of them a particularly fancy pen in a dark, glossy black with silvery lines running around the body. 

“That’s…” 

“It’s nothing. I know.”

“Uhm…” You shrugged weakly. “How am I supposed to help with that?”

“Some fresh eyes on my notes would be great, actually.” With a sigh, Kakashi handed you a few sheets of paper, filled with scribbles and notes which also could have been hieroglyphs as far as you were concerned. Some words actually could have been hieroglyphs. 

For a few moments, you tried to decipher the words, but nothing made sense to your tired eyes. Hell, you already spent the entire day leaning way too close to a computer screen, and now this? Fuck this. 

When you looked up, Kakashi was intently watching your every move. Almost eagerly, akin to a dog waiting for a reaction when dropping a ball in front of a pair of human legs. “And?”

“Honestly Kakashi… I can’t read this.”

“Ah, it cannot be that bad…”

“No, I literally can’t read this.” You waved the papers into his face. “To be frank, your handwriting is horrible. And here’s not much lighting, so my eyes are starting to hurt just by looking at this.” 

A hint of a smile flashed over his face. Though, that impression only lasted for a second, as he mumbled something incoherent and turned to click on the lamp. Light blinded you, and you had to blink rapidly to restore some of your vision. 

“Thank you.” You put down the stack of notes, trying to focus and make some sense of his handwriting. “I mean, there’s… nostalgia?” 

“Yeah.” Kakashi shrugged weakly. “The new direction Akatsuki is driving at the moment gives me nothing. I’m honestly grasping at straws here.”

“So much so that you’re reaching out to me. I see.”

Thankfully, Kakashi decided not to answer. Honestly, any answer he could have given would have annoyed you even more than you already were. The good mood you harbored over being able to leave earlier than yesterday already evaporated, wiped away by now knowing without a doubt in your mind that Kakashi was one of the sporadically creative people: incredibly valuable if they were inspired, but hindering the process when they didn’t have an inkling of inspiration.

“Okay, this…” You sighed lowly. “This is a big problem. The first meeting with the representatives of Akatsuki is in what, two weeks?”

“Roughly. A little bit less than two weeks.”

Another sigh left your mouth, and you started to massage your temple. You could feel a headache forming right behind your forehead. “Alright. Sure. Let’s just… what do you think of when you think of the new design line?”

“Pretentious.”

“Something positive.”

“Mhm. Maybe…?” The man cocked his head to the side, one hand thoughtfully touching his chin. “Nostalgia.”

“That’s already on here.” You pointed at the stack of papers. “Something else.”

“Capitalism.”

“Even though I agree, we can’t successfully market that idea and expect a profit. Now, something we can market…”

Kakashi thought for a moment. “Higher quality?”

“Great. Work from there, I guess.” 

“Sounds good to me.” Kakashi smiled at you, but you didn’t smile back. Just nodded at him before turning your back and finally getting ready to leave the office for good today. 

You thought you heard a faint “Hey” coming out of his direction, but you just walked a tiny bit faster. It would be easier to pretend to not have heard him. Just… overall easier. For your sanity and the future of your work together; the work obligations you still had to fulfill. Thankfully, you didn’t hear anything else and could leave the office with the tiniest of delays.

~ X ~

A well deserved rest for a valuable team member. I hope you enjoyed your free night. I would like to think that one day, I might be brave enough to invite you out on such a night, but for now, I just enjoy the thought that you had some time to yourself. 

Good luck today, as well.

~ X ~

“Can I steal you away for a moment?” 

Anko, Shizune and Kurenai fell completely silent as you turned to fake-smile at Kakashi. “Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t particularly like to be stolen away from my lunch.” You motioned to the lunchbox on the table in front of you. “Can we talk later?”

Your mood turned sour when he shook his head, albeit apologetically. “I have to run an errand for Minato in a bit, so no. Just five minutes?”

“Fine.” With a low sigh, you stood up from the seat which was grouped alongside the others around Shizune’s desk, and followed the man. Not without visually rolling your eyes towards the other women, then shrugging dramatically. 

To your mild surprise, Kakashi didn’t lead you towards his desk, but instead opted to exit the open office entirely. When he opened the door leading out into the hallway, he held the door open for you. His eyes found yours, only to quickly drop to the ground. 

“Where are we going?” you asked as Kakashi didn’t make any attempts to stop outside in the hallway. Instead, he walked up to the elevators, only to pass by the doors.

Where the fuck was he going?

“Hey,” you spoke up again, trailing after the man like an unwilling donkey dragged up a jagged mountain path as he climbed a set of stairs you had never paid close attention to, “seriously, where are we going?”

“There’s a calm corner upstairs.” Kakashi smiled down at you through the bars of the railing. “Sorry, it just takes a moment.”

“Alright…” Another roll of your eyes, and you started to climb the stairs. At this point, you were just humoring him. First that absolutely ridiculous talk a few days back, showing that he made nearly zero progress with the campaign since the start, and now this? Was he trying to push you off the roof or something? Or something else absolutely ridiculous and over the top, fitting for a Disney channel villain?

Maybe he sings me his little theme song before he steals my soul or something. 

Just a few more steps, and Kakashi pushed a heavy door open. You nearly expected him to let it hit you in the face, but he caught it easily and held the door open for you.

“Thanks.” Both of your eyebrows rose. Quickly, you slipped past him, catching a whiff of his scent and a breeze of fresh air from the outside. 

The door indeed led onto a small part of the roof which was overshadowed by the building beside you. The rooftop was obviously meant to be visited, though the various signs of non-usage — a bit of dirt here and there, vines overgrowing the walls beside the door, and a few pigeons instantly flying away as you set a few more steps onto the rooftop — indicated that not many people visited. 

“Okay. Should be calm enough.” Even though you tried to sound strong and self-assured, you couldn’t help wrapping your arms around yourself. Maybe to protect you from the stronger winds up here, maybe from Kakashi’s intense eyes which seemed to scrutinize you. “What do you want?”

“To thank you.”

“And you couldn’t do that in the office?”

A small chuckle erupted from the man. Casually, he leaned against the wall beside the door, now closed. With him almost guarding your way to escape, it almost seemed like he wanted to pose as Cerberus or something. 

Good boy. Now speak. 

“Hey, I have some reputation left to protect here.”

“As an antisocial asshole?” You snorted weakly out. “Yeah, a really nice image to maintain. Shouldn’t be changed at all costs. Who knows, people might actually genuinely like you. The horror.”

Again, Kakashi chuckled. He didn’t seem too concerned at the insult you threw at him, no. Lazily, he pushed himself away from the wall, strolled past you to lean against the railing close to the edge. Not a care in the world at the height or the strong winds. “Slowly I get the feeling that you don’t like me.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I’m surprised too.”

There was no way he was that self-conceited. Absolutely no way. You could only stare at his back, and only seconds after his crazy statement, you noticed that your mouth had fallen open. The sheer audacity of this overgrown manchild!

“Who do you think you are?”

Kakashi’s entire body tensed up. He turned his head, eyes finding yours, but you just shook your head and continued. “Who the fuck do you think you are? Some kind of always beloved god who can descend to us mortals and grace us with his fucking presence?”

“I never-!”

“Yeah, you never. You never apologized, properly, for once. You also never stopped and thought about why your actions were such a problem for me. Fuck, you never really took time to reflect on your actions, like any responsible adult would!” 

The words just came bubbling to the surface, like you had prepared them for this very moment. Sure, you wanted to act like an adult, but Kakashi had made it hard. So fucking hard, when all you had really gotten was a fine explanation and empty words over a great piece of lasagna. Being civil had been your goal, but this? Him throwing almost in your face how little he truly learned?

Anger bubbled up in your stomach, sourness rising in your throat and your blood rushing in your ears like a storm. Before you knew it, you marched up to him and jammed your index finger into his chest, spitting more of your righteous, built-up fury at his feet. “Did you expect that everything will be alright now? That everything is forgiven and forgotten? Well, excuse me, this is fucking reality, and it doesn’t work like that. It never worked like that.” 

Every punctuation you underlined with another push of your finger into his chest. Up close, you could smell Kakashi again, his stench filling your nose like nothing else. Again, you breathed deeply in, and pushed onward. “I tried to be civil. I tried to be nice to you. And you’re trying, I can see that much. My personal problem is, Hatake, that no matter how many sandwiches you buy when I’m doing overtime, or no matter how many times you try to seek me out with friendly banter, it will never be enough to make up for the fact that you humiliated me in front of the entire office.”

Fuck, it felt so good to watch the man deflate. Watching him being dressed down already had been a treat, but doing it yourself with sharp words and an even sharper tone was a fucking feast, five courses and counting. 

“You didn’t even apologize”, you breathed out. To your horror, you heard the tremble in your voice, which had been steely and sharp all this time. But not anymore. You swallowed, fought against the burning in your eyes, all the while staring Kakashi down. “The least thing you could do, and you couldn’t even do that. And I, as the idiot I am, even buttered you up! Complimented you because I thought, that…”

“(Y/N)...”

“Don’t fucking talk to me right now.” You stepped backwards, you had to. Anything to hide that you were so close to breaking into angry tears. “Just… leave me the fuck alone from now on. I’m talking with Minato first thing in the morning to remove me from the project, so I don’t have to put up with you anymore.”

He nodded at Kushina, only to look back at the desk. That one desk he always tried to keep in his peripheral vision whenever he entered the office. No one there, still. Of course not, but… 

“Kakashi. Now.” 

He hadn’t noticed how Kushina walked ahead of him, towards her office. Too captured in wondering where you went. But, measured by the anger radiating from his adoptive mother, he would find out soon enough. He followed slowly, throwing more tentative glances towards the empty desk as he did so. 

“What the fuck,” Kushina hissed as soon as the door of her office closed behind Kakashi, “did you do now?”

“Nothing.” Albeit true, the truth still burned like acid in the back of his truth. “What happened?”

“Your coworker came in and wanted to take some personal time off. She looked like she cried her eyes out”, Kushina said, eyes hard and the lines around her face as sharp as a knife. She gestured towards the chair in front of her desk. He followed the silent command, knowing that resisting any further would only lead to a bigger “talk”. The woman didn’t sit, but stood with crossed arms behind her desk, torching his very skin with her eyes. “So, again, and better be honest right now: what have you done, Kakashi Sakumo Hatake?”

For a very short, dangerous moment, Kakashi considered just keeping his mouth shut. What would Kushina do; throw him out?

But then his mind cleared. Yes, Kushina wouldn’t throw him out, but take the appropriate steps on the road of being thrown out. An official reprimand could be very possible, after all the other times he objectively caused trouble to the day-to-day operations, and especially after the last few weeks. The dinner had been his last chance to get off scot-free, and he thought he managed. But he…

I fucking forgot.

“I…” He started, only to pause. This was harder than he imagined it to be. Admitting how much he actually fucked up. “I know the entire point of the dinner was to explain and apologize to her for my… immature and quite frankly, despicable behavior-!”

“No sweet-talking your way out of this one.”

“Okay.” A short nod, then he pressed forward, all the while his fingers wrung themselves into the hems of his sweater. “I may have… forgotten to do one of the two things.”

Kushina sighed; a long and heavy one which made Kakashi wish he would have not said anything at all. 

“Kakashi… This is above anything else you have done so far.”

“It wasn’t deliberate!”

“That doesn’t matter. You…” His mother shook her head, a few red strands which had escaped her high ponytail wiping around her head. “No matter what happened today, I have to write you up. It’s more than well deserved at this point.”

Kakashi’s stomach sank. That really had to be expected. “Okay.”

“That makes now two write-ups…”

“Wait, two?”

“Yes, you had one lying around from an incident a few years back with Anko.”

“But she said she would try to retract it?”

“Well, apparently she didn’t,” Kushina clapped her hands together, “and I, for one, am really happy that she didn’t. Two write-ups equal to a mandatory training course in office communication. You know the drill.”

With a low sigh, he waved it off. “And what else?”

“If you don’t know what else you are supposed to do to make things right between the two of you,” Kushina shook her head, the disappointment so clear on her face that it hurt even looking at her, “then I have failed you as a parental figure.”

~ X ~

It should have been a telltale sign to just stay at home when you entered the office and the first thing you saw was Anko leaning against your desk. She was obviously waiting for you, her usual trench coat hanging loosely around her frame and arms crossed over her chest. 

“Morning.” Without another word, you pushed past her, around the corner of your desk, only to drop your stuff onto the table. Quickly, your eyes flitted over the surface, as it was now second nature to you. 

No note. Another sign that staying home would have been a great idea. 

“So…” Anko didn’t look at you, as her eyes were scanning the area around, sharp and attentive to every little detail. “Who needs to be beat up?”

“No one.” 

“Bullshit. Doesn’t matter anyway. It has to be Hatake.” Only now, the other woman pulled out her usual resting bitch face. Honestly, Anko was one of the people who could look meaner than anyone without even trying. “Just give me a hint, and he’s done for. High time he gets a bit of a beat down.”

“Oh, really?” You clicked your tongue. “Unfortunately, as tempting that might be, casual violence in the office might be bad for me. And for yourself, of course.”

“Some things are worth the consequences.” Anko smiled; a promising yet dark grin, with way too many teeth showing. “Besides, Hatake also bullied me a bit when I joined, but I made clear to him that he’s out of his league if he keeps that up.”

“Do I want to know?”

The other woman thought for a moment. “Probably not. I also kind of signed something to not talk about it in detail.”

“This makes it much worse, honestly.”

“Oh, not for me.” Anko grinned another feral grin, smug like the cheshire chat. “For the brat.”

“The term “brat” certainly fits him,” you mumbled more to yourself, before grabbing your planner and a pen. “But as I said, he doesn’t need to be beat up. Thanks for the offer, though.”

“Anytime.”

According to the weekly planner in your hands, another weekly meeting for the entire floor with Minato was about to happen. At the thought of sitting yet again in a room with Kakashi and knowing that he knew he finally broke through your shell was torture, but you were an adult. An adult had to face their problems, no matter how much one wanted to run back home, crawl back into their bed and rewatch some childhood cartoons for comfort. 

It will be fine. After today, after meeting Kakashi again and having to look into his face, it will be alright that you ripped him a new one. He will never speak about it, I will surely not ask him about it, and we can stay silent about this ordeal — like adults do.

Another deep breath in, with your planner clutched into your hands, then you pushed the door open, with a fake smile plastered onto your face. 

Your eyes scanned the conference room, jumping from seat to seat. Once, twice around the table, but there was no silvery mop of hair in sight. Was Kakashi not present today? Maybe he was out sick? Or meeting another client?

“Move.” Anko whispered harshly, before pushing past you. Damn, you had blocked the door and didn’t notice how long you actually scanned the room for Kakashi’s presence. Quickly, you followed the woman, sinking into a chair by her side, all the while trying not to be too anxious about the door opening more and more. Every time, you tried not to look like a deer looking into the headlights of a rapidly approaching car, and you had the distinct notion you failed, measured at Anko’s stifled snorting at every single one of your reactions.

“Relax,” she leaned over when the door opened for the fifth time, spitting Gai into the room, “if Hatake isn’t here already and didn’t enter with Gai, then the chances of him coming into the meeting sink into the Mariana trench.” 

“Are you sure?”

“At least 99% sure. And for the 1% off-chance…”

“You put one less spoon of coffee into your cup. I swear, whenever you make the pot for our lunches, the coffee smells like it could peel the tapestry right off the walls.” A weak smile crossed your face at Anko’s grumbled explanations that she needed her coffee that strong. 

The door opened again, and again, your eyes flittered over to check on the newcomer. It was Minato, folders under his arm and looking as busy as ever. As you watched your boss get settled, your entire body relaxed, little by little, nerve by nerve. Maybe that meant Kakashi wouldn’t come in today. That would be a gift from the heavens, to not have to face him just one day after the… incident. 

“So…” Minato coughed weakly, capturing everyone’s attention easily. “Let’s start with our meeting. I know we’re a bit ahead of time, but I have a scheduled phone call right after this meeting, so it would be beneficial to keep everything short and concise today. I see you, Gai, and yes, I have the potential gym memberships as work benefits still in the back of my mind. No need to worry there.”

As Minato droned on about technical details, your mind started to drift off. In your current project, you weren’t the lead, not even the second lead. So, you could space out a little bit, jotting down haphazardly, unreadable notes and nod absent-mindedly when the others nodded as well. 

As your mind wandered, your thoughts inevitably turned to the notes on your desk. Since the entire fiasco with Kakashi started, you barely had time to breathe. Trying to find out who the note writer was who left you such thoughtful scribbles on your desk had been totally out of the question. 

Who could it be?

I already crossed out Kakashi due to his handwriting, which doesn’t match with the handwriting in the notes.

I’m going ahead and also crossing out all the people who I know are in committed relationships.

Automatically, your hand with the pen started to write. Letters formed on an empty page of your planner, first slowly, but growing more and more determined. 

Minato. Kakashi. Iruka. Asuma. Gai. Genma. Anko. Shizune. Kurenai. Kushina. A complete list of people you were working with on the marketing team. Quickly, you scratched out Minato, Kakashi, Kurenai and Kushina. Minato and Kushina for obvious reasons, and Asuma and Kurenai were obviously smitten with each other, no matter how hard they tried to deny that. And Kakashi’s handwriting didn’t match the notes, so he was also off the table. Which left you still with quite a sizable list of possible secret… note writers.

Thinking of them as secret admirers is… weird. 

The door opened once again, and you jolted up, violently ripped out of your thoughts. Your eyes widened as you saw Kakashi walking in, without his usual nonchalance, but carrying two large boxes stacked on top of each other with an annoying sense of elegance around him. 

“Sorry for being late,” he dropped the two unremarkable white boxes onto the table, “I had to take a detour because of a black cat crossing my way.” 

“Sure.” Minato raised an eyebrow at the boxes. “A birthday I forgot?”

“No, just high time I’m doing something like this.” When Kakashi spoke, his eyes flew over to you, and you found yourself transfixed. Just a mere moment, not longer than the time it took to blink, and yet, this dumbass of a man had you shaking in your chair with anxiety. What did he plan now to humiliate you?

Instead of explaining things, Kakashi opened one of the boxes. Beside you, Anko leaned in to peer over the rim, but subconsciously, you were leaning backwards as if the man just opened the lid to a basket filled to the brim with snakes. 

Though, the smell of bread, freshly cut vegetables and fried meat reached your nose instead. The other people in the meeting started to cheer, obviously enjoying the fact that Kakashi got them some free food, but you were merely puzzled. 

“I got everyone something to eat,” the man said, arms crossing over his chest and slouching forward, “and I also brewed some fresh coffee for everyone already. It’s in the break room.”

Minato asked the one question which burned on your very soul. “Alright. What kind of spirit possessed you to do this?”

“I…” The man paused, his eyes flickering downwards. “I realized that I have been a terrible colleague so far, to several people in the office.”

“And that has nothing to do with that…” Minato ended the sentence right there, but Kakashi nodded.

“The communication seminar I have to attend is due to my actions. Yes, partly. But mostly because,” he breathed loudly in, “Because my behavior caused something I’m not proud of. So, I want to sincerely apologize. To everyone, of course, but especially to a colleague I treated more than unfairly during the last weeks.”

Again, his eyes found yours. Every muscle in your body went tense, anticipating and yet dreading the next words out of his mouth. But he didn’t talk to you directly, half-smiling which showed an adorable dimple on his cheek, but turned quickly to the others. “I’m asking not only for forgiveness, but for your willingness to work with me while I better myself. I can’t promise anything, but I’m ready to go forward. This,” he gestured towards the breakfast-spread, “is just a small show of my gratitude for bearing with me for so long.” 

The dull cheer of the other present people echoed in your ears. You blinked in quiet confusion, trying to not lose your mind. 

Kakashi, apologizing publicly. Kakashi, bringing breakfast for everyone in the office to make up for his assholery. Kakashi, looking at you with those dark, dumb, pleading eyes, as if he was trying to convey something. 

What does he want? 

Obviously, as Minato also still had to take his business call, the seriousness of the meeting quickly dissipated. The others quickly indulged themselves in the breakfast, grouping up to snack away and some even walking up to Kakashi to talk with him. Thankfully, no one noticed that you stood up, grabbed your notebook and left the room. Not even Anko, but she was too busy eating her unexpected sandwich than to notice. You couldn’t blame her, they smelled delicious. But you just wanted — no, needed — a few quiet moments to collect your scrambled thoughts. 

The floor with all its running PCs but no humans around had a bit of an eerie feel. Yet, the silence was exactly what you wanted. Gently, you placed down your notebook on your desk, eyes scanning across the surface for a by now more than welcomed bright-yellow note. But nothing; no little pick-me-up or cheerful comment about the day which would distract you from the adult-task of having to possibly change your opinion about Kakashi Hatake. 

No, I don’t have to change anything. 

He apologized in front of the entire office.

And? He didn’t specify anything, didn’t clarify. He could have made this entire show just to appease me.

Why couldn’t you just worry about the identity of your secretive notewriter? Instead, you had this absolute trash fire on your hands, constantly having to worry if you were going to be fired because of badly hidden nepotism or if Kakashi wanted to bully you out of the office for good. 

You sighed weakly, only to shake your head. Again, no time to worry about this. You had to start work, and maybe, maybe, you could worry about Kakashi a bit more in the evening, when you were back home. First off, though, you would take a little bit of an advantage of a free coffee pot as well as an unoccupied kitchen. 

Like Kakashi promised: when you entered the break room, the rich scent of freshly brewed coffee greeted you. But not only that, he had also prepared a kettle. The metal of the kettle was still hot as you touched it, nearly singing your fingertips off. 

And just as you inspected the damage, the gentle rap of knuckles against the wooden door frame made you look up. There was Kakashi, like he popped out of a dark corner of your mind to haunt you. In his dark-emerald-green pullover and black jeans, he looked as casual and comfy as always, and as he leaned there, his unruly hair fell into his face like he came straight out of a shampoo commercial. 

How unfair. Why does an asshat like him have hair like that?

But even your thoughts weren’t as frustrated and angry with him as before, as in the last days, as yesterday. Like you couldn’t bring up the energy anymore to hate him properly. With a weary sigh, you leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed over your chest and trying very hard to look into his eyes without flinching. 

“So…” 

“So, yeah.” Kakashi shrugged weakly as he leaned casually against the frame of the door. “I’m owing you a private apology.”

“Great. Get started, then.”

“Ouch. But I deserve that one, no questions asked. What you didn’t deserve, though, was my attitude towards you.” There was no small glint in his eyes, no laughter on his face. Just honest sincerity, and you had no idea what to do with it. So, with your face like stone, you just listened to him. 

“I apologize for how I treated you. I acted like a child for no reason at all. You deserved better than that, and still deserve more. I can only hope you will forgive me one day, and even then, you’re not obligated to do anything.” One of his hands came up to scrub through his hair, only to burrow itself back into the pockets of his pullover. “I’m sorry for being an absolute asshole in the first place, for treating you like an intern. I’m sorry for being overall an antisocial asshole. And I’m sorry for not giving you this apology when you actually needed to hear it.”

Finally. After all the weeks of worrying, of being angry, and tired of having to worry, you finally had a real, honest, sincere apology. One which sounded like Kakashi actually meant it. Slowly, you nodded, paused, then nodded again. 

“Yeah”, you said, “that’s… that’s great to hear. Thank you.”

“Do you still want to work together on the Akatsuki-Project?”

“Of course.”

“Good.” Kakashi straightened himself out. “If my behavior bothers you again, please instantly go to Minato and Kushina and write a complaint. Do not come to me to ask me to stop, just go to them directly.” 

“Never had anything else in mind.”

“... Good. That’s… good.” Though, you couldn’t help but believe that Kakashi hoped for just another answer. Too bad. He wouldn’t get another one, not on this particular matter. 

After a long moment, Kakashi nodded again. “Alright. Anyway, sorry for keeping you here.”

“Well, it was kind of worth it. To finally get an apology, at least.” 

“So…” He shoved his hands deeper into his pockets, shoulders drawn up and peeking through the strands of his unruly hair. “Anything going on today?”

You paused. What kind of question was that? Were there any deeper intentions hidden within those words which you couldn’t decipher? Or was he mocking you, thinking that now as he apologized already, he was off the hook for any wrongdoings on his part? Or, last but not least, were you overthinking yet again and trying to find a fault where there was none present?

“You know…” you breathed in, “just work. Nothing else, pretty much.”

“Oh. Okay, okay. Sorry, that was a stupid question.”

“Don’t apologize too much, it’s going to wear out at some point.”

“I don’t know about that one. Anyway, good luck today. If there’s anything you need me for, you know where to find me.”

Again, you nodded. Slowly, deliberately, and still trying to gauge if Kakashi was serious or not. You just couldn’t really grasp the man and his character, if he was serious or more of a jokester. Maybe something in between, with a bit of social awkwardness. 

Nevertheless, it was hopefully now over — for good, this time. Maybe, you could now focus on your work, on trying to prove yourself, and potentially even on finding out who wrote the little notes and left them on your desk. 

~ X ~

Kakashi was in the middle of staring at the still empty page of his notebook, all the while twirling a pen between his fingers, when Minato walked up to his desk. The man waited for a second, drilling holes into Kakashi’s soul, only to rap his knuckles ever so gently against the wooden surface. 

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Your boss.” But Kakashi knew the tone Minato had swinging in his voice: all soft and mushy and unbearably proud. No, that wasn’t his boss talking with him, but his step-father. Only after a look around, he dropped the small book onto the table and gave Minato his entire focus. “What’s up?”

“I had a talk with Kushina yesterday. About what… she talked to you about.”

“Yeah. I figured that much.”

“I honestly didn’t know if you would do something about it.”

“As I just proved, I can do something about it, and I can do it properly.”

“I didn’t question your commitment, just your… awareness.”

That was probably the kindest possible reminder to not overdo it that Kakashi ever received from Minato. Kakashi sighed, but fell silent. Even when his boss was also his adopted father, he himself always had asked to never be treated differently to his colleagues, and now he paid the rightful price for declining just a little bit of nepotism. 

“Nevertheless, I’m glad you managed to find a way to rectify the situation, for everyone involved. Very smart move to bring breakfast for everyone.”

“I learned from the best.” 

Minato smiled a thin, weary smile, nothing more than a quick uptilt of his mouth. “Don’t overdo it. Still, I’m glad. Now, keep up the good work, I’m expecting big things from the Akatsuki campaign.” 

And that, Kakashi pondered, was the biggest problem. Expectations. The expectations Minato had in him, the expectations everyone else had in him, the expectation Kakashi himself had in his work and skills and creativity, were the problem. What to do when he would fail all the expectations?

“Morning.” As you brushed past him, Kakashi turned and fell into the same speed as you, effectively making it look like you two arrived at the same time. Honestly, you didn’t want to speak with him first thing in the morning, when an entire day of having to argue with the man still ahead of you. 

At the end of the entrance area, past the desk with the flirtatious secretary, who looked way too sad when Kakashi passed by her without batting an eyelash, you pressed the button to call the elevator. You refused to look at him, even though you were overly aware of his presence and the fact that he was looking at you. Right, maybe not “looking” per se, but he threw glances at you from time to time, which was enough to unnerve you already.

Still, you didn’t react, just stared at the display calling the floor numbers. As soon as the elevator arrived and the doors sprung open, you stepped past the man inside the small cabin. Kakashi followed, at a much more relaxed and lax pace than yours.

Before you could react, he pressed the button to your floor, as well as the “Close Door” button. The doors slid close just a few seconds later, which left you alone with Kakashi. You merely stared at the display of numbers, breathing out a little sigh of relief when the lights sprung from floor to floor, signaling the end of your uncomfortable stay inside a small space with him.

Suddenly, you looked at the two containers of hot beverages, both imprinted with the logo of a nearby coffee house. 

“Coffee?” Kakashi asked, matter-of-factly. 

You considered for a moment. Was this an honest effort on his part, or just another subtle attempt to fuck with you? But no, even against your better judgement, you reached over and accepted the coffee cup with a little nod and a weak “Thank you”. 

The man shrugged. “No problem. I hope I got it right.”

Cautiously, you took a little sip. And nearly groaned in relief. “No. I mean, yes, you got it right. This is perfect.”

“Good to know. So,” he stretched the single syllable into eternity, just right before the second the elevator dinged to indicate the two of you reached your floor, “can I bring you coffee from now on? From time to time?”

You considered again. Honestly, getting coffee at the start of the day was already a great offer. But was it worth it being so close to Kakashi then, taking something from him? Being indebted to the man in some kind of way? Hesitantly, you stepped out of the elevator, acutely aware of Kakashi still on your heels. 

“How much was the coffee? I pay you back.” You were already scrambling for your purse, but Kakashi stepped closer, his hand going up and stopping your every movement. “No need. Take it as another part of my peace offering.”

One of your eyebrows rose ever so slightly. “And the other times in the possible future?”

“That,” Kakashi shrugged, “you have to take up with future-me. You remember our meeting around 1?”

“Yes. I have all the data ready to go.”

“Good. See you then. And…” Kakashi paused for a second, his head tilting ever so slightly to the side. “Enjoy your coffee.”

With that, he brushed past you, leaving you with the cup of coffee, a whiff of his aftershave and lots of uncertainty inside your heart. What was he planning? Carefully, you took another sip from the cup, hummed under your breath, then turned towards your desk with a bit more vigor in your step. It didn’t matter, it was definitely time to get to work, now with an even bigger cloud hanging above your head. 

But before you sat down, you spotted one of the now well-known notes, this time neatly glued to the edge of your keyboard, so you wouldn’t miss it.

A little smile flashed over your face, but you didn’t immediately open the note. Instead, you let it rest there while dropping your bag, tentatively placing the cup of coffee on the table, then peeling yourself out of your jacket. At the same time, you greeted your colleagues around with short nods and small smiles, your eyes still flittering towards the note from time to time. Only when you properly sat at your desk, sure no one was looking or busy with their own work, you reached for the note.

I hope you have a good morning. Whenever I see you come in, it sure as hell is a good morning for me.

Short, precise, sweet. You could feel your face warming due to the words, though. Some would consider it creepy to be watched this closely, but somehow, as nothing else had happened - yet - you couldn’t help but be endeared by the mysterious note-writer. 

Somehow, this felt like an incredibly cheesy romance novel, the ones you kept hidden inside your nightstand and only read when you had time on the weekends. Gently, you folded the note back and placed it inside the drawer where you kept all the notes, for safe-keeping. 

One day, you maybe had the time and energy to actually find out whoever the note-writer was, but now, with the Akatsuki-campaign on your plate, there was not much energy left to care. For now, you could just enjoy the kindness from the enigma of a writer and take it as a little pick-me-up for the day.

~ X ~

The days passed by like this. Exactly like this, to be honest. You would arrive at work, where Kakashi waited in the lobby, always with a coffee at hand. While the two of you rode the elevator, there would be a little chit-chat or a quick talk about work, and when the doors opened, he would casually stroll towards his own desk in his little corner, meanwhile you would walk to your own desk and find a little note there. Always a little compliment, always a little observation which would make you smile, always something positive which could make your day a little bit brighter. You did your work, tried to stay afloat, then shut down your PC at the end of the day and went home. 

The rhythm was so strongly established that, when someone actually dared to interrupt that rhythm, it disrupted your entire day. But not negatively. Quite the opposite.

You were in the middle of scribbling a few notes into your weekly planner, trying to determine what task needed to be taken care of first thing tomorrow and which ones could wait a little bit longer, when a hand came down on your desk and rapped its knuckles on the surface.

Kakashi stood beside your desk. With an unusual white, crisp and clean shirt and a pair of dark jeans, as well as a leather bag slung over his shoulder, he still looked like he was ready to start the work day, not to end it, like you were. For a second, your eyes got caught at the hems of his rolled up sleeves, sitting in the crease of his elbows, before sliding up to his face and eyes. 

“Yes? What’s up?”

“The ceiling”, he immediately answered, making you chuckle weakly. Though, the laughter was short-lived as his attitude switched to a more serious tone. “Listen, we’re coming along fine with the project, but I want to make sure everything is perfect. Akatsuki is one of our most prestigious clients and the follow-up campaign has to be spotless. Would you mind meeting up for lunch tomorrow to go over the details?”

Inwardly, you groaned at the prospect of having to work through your lunch break, but you kind of understood. You also understood that Kakashi wanted to make sure everything was going well, especially with the data you provided as it was a vital key for the work he had already done. So, you nodded weakly, all the while moving out of your chair and slinging your bag over your shoulder. “Sure. Any café or restaurant in mind?”

“Your choice. I don’t have any specific likes or dislikes.” Abruptly, Kakashi turned away, but paused. “Just… I don’t like sweet things.”

“So, a specific dislike.”

“...Yes.”

“Right after you tell me that you have no particular dislikes.”

“Sorry. I kind of forgot?”

“That you have dislikes?”

“That I have to actually tell people about my dislikes and not act like everyone can read thoughts.”

That sentence sounded so clearly repetitive and studied, you just had to chuckle. Kakashi even overplayed his part: the slouched shoulders, a little pout, the tired eyes dropping even lower than before. Like he wanted to make himself as small as possible, all the while his entire posture portrayed how little he cared. Really, the image of a petulant schoolboy came to mind when one looked at him, and nothing else would fit him better. 

A week ago, you wouldn’t have laughed like this. No, you would have been frustrated at his careless attitude, annoyed even that he would joke around like this. Now, you were at least 50% sure it was a joke.

“Alright,” you said, “I get it. No sweets factory and no cake-exclusive café. Anything else?”

“No. That was literally it.” 

“Then see you tomorrow.”

Kakashi waved lazily over his shoulder. “Good work today. See you.”

Good work today. Coming from Kakashi, could you take it as a compliment? For a few seconds, you struggled, before your mouth spit out the first thing coming to your mind.

“Good work by you today, too!”

As he was already quite the distance away, your mouth apparently saw it necessary to speak louder than usual. Several heads turned to you, which made your face grow warm, but you tried to not let it affect you. With a small wave, you apologized to the still working members of your firm, who after a few seconds of silent bewilderment went back to their work. And Kakashi? He had turned around as well, a little smile on his face, one hand again up to lazily wave at you, the other still holding onto his bag. 

Good. Even though you humiliated yourself a bit, you managed to be nice to Kakashi. No big deal, moving on, and you should really try to find a nearby restaurant or café which would serve food for the both of you, all the while having big enough tables to potentially spread out some documents and one to two laptops. 

~ X ~

Honestly, you were surprised that such a place like this working café existed. Each table was wide enough for at least four people, more than enough for Kakashi and yourself, plus your working equipment. There were electrical outlets at the surrounding walls, and separated cubicles for some privacy from other people working there. The young woman at the counter who took your order seemed friendly, promising to deliver your ordered items to your table in a few minutes. The atmosphere was quite cozy, friendly and bright, with big windows which let in the sunlight but also the looks of other people. Though, no one on the sidewalk cared much, as Kakashi and you selected a table a bit further in the back. As you slid into the booth, dropping the bag with your laptop, phone and purse onto the table, you caught a glimpse of the man. 

He seemed to pause for a moment, your eyes meeting his for just a split second. His eyebrows rose a bit, but before you could notice more, you let your eyes fall back onto the table and slid completely into the booth. Kakashi followed after another brief pause, just on the side opposite to you. Like this, you could watch his hands carefully unclasping the thin fabric case of his tablet, a keyboard attached to it. He unfolded the tablet, securing it with the dark gray case to make it stand on the table like a normal laptop would, only for his eyes to meet yours again over the upper rim.

“So.”

“So,” you echoed back. While opening your laptop and typing in the password, you glanced at him. “What do you want to know, specifically?”

“Just the general state of you. How you’re doing, adjusting to the increasing workload, such stuff.”

“I’m… I’m alright.” Confused, you paused, hands twitching on the keyboard of your laptop. “Is this some weird check-up on me?”

“Pardon?”

“A weird check-up. Because of… I don’t know, you’re being way nicer to me than before, and you want to see how I’m doing all of a sudden? Is this meeting just a farce to see if I still have a grudge?”

“What? No, it isn’t.”

“Then why are you asking me those strange questions when you invite me to a work lunch?”

“Because that concerns work.” Kakashi looked at you like you suddenly went crazy. “You’re a new hire and Minato asked me to do an evaluation with you. He’s off to acquire a new customer, so he asked if I could jump in.”

“Oh.” Shit. That was bad news. Instantly, you felt your spine straighten out of instinct. Everything to make a better impression on someone who was impossible to impress, as far as you were aware of. But at least it wasn’t impossible to try, right?

One of Kakashi’s eyebrows rose. “Should I be concerned?” 

“About what?”

“The sudden rod you shoved right up your a… your spine.”

“You wanted to say something else there.”

“I did, but then I thought that my original comment could catch a sexual harassment case.” He smiled innocently, eyes curled and lips barely raised. But fuck, even though you were all of a sudden nervous and flustered, mildly annoyed by his words and tone, you could feel a single, lone yet terribly fluttery butterfly rise in your stomach. Fuck him and his good looks. 

“Anyway,” he shook his head slightly, still smiling as he did so, “no need to worry. I told him that even though we cleared the air between us, doing an evaluation on you would still be highly inappropriate. He wants to see you on Friday, 2pm sharp, in his office.”

“Oh my god. You’re… insufferable.” Breathlessly, you slumped again into your seat. “I think I have a heart attack.”

“If you die in your booth, I will say that it was an accident.”

“Of course, you will.”

“Do I hear some slight animosity? Yes, I’m pretty sure.”

“You’re-!”

Steps closed in, only to be quickly followed by a cheery voice, announcing: “Alright guys, I have your freshly brewed coffees, right here.” The cashier placed both cups swiftly on the table, with small spoons jingling slightly against the porcelain. “And I also have your hearty BLT-sandwich,” the plate with the sandwich was put into the middle of the table, only to be gently pushed into your direction, “as well as the egg-salad-sandwich.” 

Kakashi’s order was placed in front of him. One look at the waitress, and you had to hide a little annoyed snort under your breath. If those weren’t the biggest doe eyes you had ever seen, then you didn’t know what else was happening there. 

But Kakashi just smiled one of his usual lazy grins at her, not showing one bit if he noticed the admiration of the waitress or not. His eyes quickly returned to your face, with small creases around them telling you more than enough. 

“Do you even notice the stares,” you whispered when the waitress left, “and the lovey-dovey eyes anymore?”

He shrugged weakly as he reached for his coffee cup. “Sometimes.” 

“And?”

“And what?”

“Do you ever… react to it? In some kind of way?” 

Kakashi laughed weakly. “No matter how flattering that might be, I’m not interested.”

“Mhm.” You wanted to press further, now that he finally opened up a little bit and seemed just honest enough, but you also shouldn’t press your luck here. Besides, why did it matter anyway?  Kakashi was still an asshole — and you weren’t interested in him anyway. 

Your secret notewriter, however… 

Thankfully, it isn’t Kakashi.

With a low sigh, you pulled your sandwich closer. Even though the topic of the conversation wasn’t that appetizing, at least your food looked great. The BLT-sandwich was cut into neat triangles, slivers of the tomato, juicy yet slightly crispy bacon peeking through the green of the lettuce, just held into place by a pair of wooden skewers. Taking one bite, you sighed again, this time in deep satisfaction. Holy, this sandwich was just as delicious as it looked. 

Before you knew it, one half of the sandwich you had wolfed down, and you were ready to devour the other half too, before you realized who was sitting right in front of you. 

“What?” you asked, defiance tainting the words. “It’s good.”

 “I don’t doubt it.” 

“Then why are you looking…”

“Because that was probably the first time you let your guard down around me… for a sandwich.”

“Urgh, shut up.” 

“If you insist…” And really, Kakashi closed his mouth, reached over to his plate with the egg sandwich and inspected it. Then, after a moment of quiet consideration, he took it into his hands and took a single bite. 

To stare like this was a bit indecent. The tiniest bit. So, you turned your attention towards the laptop in front of you, pulling up some graphs and reports you had collected over the last few weeks. “Alright, I looked at the previous campaign you did for Akatsuki, what I think you wanted to achieve and who you were targeting. Also, I took a look at their goals, their customers then and their customers now.”

“Akatsuki turned from fresh newcomers to a big brand in a relatively short time.” Kakashi paused between bites, thinking for himself. “Their style in clothes changed quite a bit over the years since I worked with them.”

“Exactly. They went from creating smart clothing for any body shape to… catering a more well-paying crowd.”

“You don’t like their change.”

“True,” you admitted freely, “their Pain-series for home clothing was brilliant. The sweatpants changed my life.” That you could definitely not afford their newest line of clothing even though it looked visually appealing and comfortable at the same time, you didn’t have to add. 

“Right? Those are my first choice for home office days.” Kakashi chuckled to himself. “Also the paper crane-shirts.”

You sighed weakly. “Oh god, that is so true. Just really nice looking basics with special accommodations, so everyone can fit into them and, of course, pay for them.”

Kakashi nodded. “Designing a campaign for that line was a pleasure. Designing for this campaign though…”

No way. One of your eyebrows rose. Kakashi, admitting to having difficulties? Kakashi, just opening up to anything? Kakashi, actually willing to talk with you? 

He noticed, of course. Another bite, a closed-eyed smile, then he continued. “Their new line is… pretentious. They want a down-to-earth campaign, like I did for their breakthrough. But it was easy material to work with. Those clothes just don’t give me anything back.” He took another bite, chewed, then placed the sandwich on the plate. “I just don’t know how to tell them that they changed too much to be down-to-earth anymore.”

“Maybe I can help a bit there.” Your mouth was definitely faster than your brain, and definitely too fast for your own good. But the words dropped already from your lips like morning dew, and Kakashi’s entire attention focused on them.

“What do you have in mind?”

“Maybe… And that is a big “maybe” here,” you paused, breathed in and out, then continued, “if I can show them where the current market lies and that it would be stupid to insist on their previous image, we could turn it around.”

A hard task. Customer-related tasks were always hard, as some customers could be stupidly stubborn. You had seen it all: the most detailed, beautifully created marketing campaigns, pissed into the wind just because some rich dude believed to know better. But you had also seen the total opposite, people accepting marketing campaigns which ran totally against their imagination, but embracing them until they became a huge success. Everything was possible, and it was your job to make sure that it would become a success.

Kakashi nodded. “Alright. I can try to help as much as you want.”

“That would actually be really great.” And you meant it. As Kakashi managed the first campaign and had first-hand experience with the client, he could provide you with really sensitive intel. If he was really willing to work with you instead of against you, it would make things so much easier. Quickly, your fingers flew over the keyboard of your laptop, jotting down notes, so you could remember what needed to be done in the next few days. “Alright, do you still have contact with Akatsuki? If we have a direct in, they might be more willing to listen to us.”

“I know someone,” Kakashi said, “but we need a strong proposal to make this work. He’s… a bit uptight, but really smart and will be neutral, even work with us if he sees our point.”

“Great. If you can, contact him already. If we want this to work out, we need all the help we can get. Meanwhile, I will start to put together some questionnaires in order to gauge the market.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

As you continued to make plans with Kakashi’s input, you forgot about your previous inhibitions. The man proved you wrong so far, acted like he never held anything against you at all, even threw in helpful advice and comments. But that could just be to save his own skin: the Akatsuki campaign would be one of the biggest in his career, considering that his first campaign for them made them big in the first place. He showed everyone that he could make a brand big, but could he deliver once more? The infamous overhyping of a sequel, so true for movies, books and video games, and even more true for repeat performances. There must be a lot on the line for him, so of course, Kakashi had to make sure everyone was performing to the best of their abilities. Whatever he would deliver to his clients would reflect on himself and on Minato and Kushina, on his own creativity and their leadership skills. 

Measured at his usual work ethic, when it wasn’t compromised with some kind of childish dislike to his co-workers, he wanted to deliver. Kakashi wanted to show that he still had “it”, and was eager to prove himself. If not to his client, then probably to his parents.

And if he leaves me alone, then maybe…

Maybe you could still somehow work with him and prove yourself, too. 

A small smile tugged at the corner of your mouth as you typed away, made plans and notes to yourself. A small sliver of hope, nothing else, but it was more than enough to keep you going — to keep you working with Kakashi as long as he didn’t return to his old ways.