Lately, I've been feeling like I've been away for far too long. Away from the One who gives my heart peace. My soul has been starving, and I think that's slowly started to show, not just in my heart, but in my mind and even in my body. I knew I was drifting. I was aware of the distance, yet I kept going anyway. Eventually, it caught up with me.
Tonight, I finally opened my Bible again.
I prayed for wisdom, for clarity, and for God to help me understand what was happening inside me. And in His gentle way, He answered.
I realized that I often tell myself I have faith, that I love God, and that I trust Him. But when I looked at my actions, they weren't always reflecting what I claimed to believe. I kept returning to old habits, chasing temporary comforts, entertaining thoughts that pulled me away from Him instead of drawing me closer.
I think that's what hurts the most.. I wasn't lost because I didn't know better. I was fully aware. I knew when I was choosing my own desires over surrender. I knew when I was feeding my mind with things that didn't bring me peace. And still, I chose them.
But maybe that's exactly why grace feels so overwhelming.
Even after wandering, God still welcomed me back. No condemnation. Just an open invitation to return.
Tonight reminded me that coming back to Him is never about perfection. It's simply about saying, "Lord, I'm here again."
And somehow... that was enough to bring peace back into my heart.
I'm so grateful I listened to that quiet nudge tonight and opened my Bible.
