I am still waiting, Hisheβ¦
Kal: Bruce, there you are β what in the world?
Bruce: Hey Kal.
Kal: Who are all these kids?!
Bruce: My Bat Family. Iβm a dad now.
Kal: Since when?!
Bruce: Since 1940. Try to keep up.
Kal: I thought it was just the one! Hi, Nightwing.
Dick: Hi Superman! Yeah, I have siblings now.
Kal: And howβs that working out?
Dick: Most of us have died at least once.
Kal: β¦What?
Bruce: Hey Kal, check it out. This oneβs super smart, and we have matching coffee mugs.
Tim: :)
Bruce: This oneβ¦
Cass: β¦
Bruce: Actually, this one scares me. And this one glows in the dark! Heheh!
Duke: :D
Kal: I can see thatβ¦
Damian: Father, Iβm hungry. When are we having dinner?
Bruce: How many criminals have you caught today?
Damian: *holds up three villains* Is this sufficient?
Bruce: Eh, itβs good enough. Here. *tosses him a tofu hotdog, like just the dog part* Keep working on it. Three more and you get the bun.
Kal: *horrified silence*
Dick: Hmph! When I was Robin, I could catch at least five criminals before dinner.
Tim: Oh my gosh, Dick, no one cares!
Jason: No one cares about anything in this stinkinβ family. Where were you all when I died, huh?!
Everyone: *groan*
Damian: Quit being such a drama queen, Todd! Itβs not like losing your life is the end of the world!
Tim: Yeah!
Damian: You shut up. The only thing youβve ever lost is your spleen.
Duke: And his parents.
Everyone except Damian: *parental trauma* AH!
Bruce: I told you never to mention that!
Kal: I canβt believe what Iβm watchingβ¦ Does Alfred know about this?!
Bruce: Yeah, totally, heβs cool with it.
Kal: *narrowing his eyes* I have a very hard time believing that.
Bruce: Well, he works for me, so shut up.
Kal: What about Catwoman?! Does Catwoman know about this?!
Bruce: *nervous* Umβ¦ wellβ¦
Damian: *suspicious* Whoβs Catwoman?
Bruce: *very nervous* No one.
Dick: Oh, he is so dating Catwoman!
Tim: Why didnβt you tell us?!
Jason: What if we donβt want a step-mom, huh?!
Bruce: Woah, hold on now β
Duke: Look, youβre upsetting Batgirl!
Cass: β¦
Bruce: Alright, thatβs enough! Weβre not gonna talk about this anymore! Because β
Everyone: *annoyed* β youβre Batman!
Bruce: No! Because I said so! β¦And also, yes, because Iβm Batman! Cause Batman says so!
Kal: *smirking* More like because youβre Bat-Dad.
Bruce: >:(
Kal: And hey, whereβs Barbara? I thought she was Batgirl?
Bruce: *nervous* She wasβ¦
Kal: β¦Bruce, what did you do?
Dick: Oh, donβt worry, Superman, Barbaraβs fine.
Kal: Oh, thank goodness.
Jason: Sheβs just paralysed from the waste down.
Kal: Bruce!
Bruce: It wasnβt my fault! Sheβs not even technicially my kid!
Kal: Bruceβ¦
Bruce: Oh, donβt you βBruceβ me. Iβll βBruceβ youβ¦ βBruceβ you in the face.
Kal: Okay, thatβs it, you are not allowed to find any more sidekicks starting right now!
Bruce: *holding up Harper* What about this one?
Kal: No!
Bruce: *holding up Spoiler* This one still has a parent β I can just be a mentor.
Kal: No!
Bruce: Well, gee, Kal, what am I supposed to do with all the orphans in Gotham, then, huh?!
Kal: Do you hear yourself right now?
Bruce: I have a system, Kal!
Kal: Thatβs it! Thereβs only way to solve this!
*Superman grabs Batman, and they fly off*
*Batman then appears on the couch in Therapist Harley Quinnβs office from the new Batman animated show*
Harley: Alright, why donβt you start by telling me about your childhood.
Batman: *leans over* Do I have a story for you.
