Sep 26, 2016
Anyone got any good jokes?
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Anyone got any good jokes?
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Liana: I've completely changed my ideas on relationships
Liana: So I'm in Ikea and this couple are in front of me for most of our journey around the market part.
Liana: Anyway, the guy keeps cracking jokes about the names and they're having fun
Liana: But I lose them for a bit and return to her yelling at him like 'fuck you David, your jokes are shit, purple and red don't go together and you're not getting a mirror on the ceiling to watch yourself while we're in bed. No wonder your mom kicked you out' and I'm dying.
Liana: Basically, I'm only going on dates to Ikea and if we get to the food counter passed the tills, we're getting hot dogs and a marriage certificate
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Perrie: EMERGENCY TEXT
Perrie: IN LONDON WITH NO ACCESS TO POPTARTS WHAT DO I DO
so it’s nearly four thirty in the morning on the east coast and i’ve been spending my time, eating leftover slices of pizza and singing along to the classic, "spice up your life" by the spice girls. my little brother's probably suffering somewhere around my apartment but then again, we've had a busy weekend overseas so why not unwind a little, you know? he's just lucky i haven't broke out into my choreography for "girlfriend" by *nsync. it gets pretty intense, i'm not gonna lie, but enough about me.. how are you? tell me what's been going on in your life, if you don't mind.
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Harry: If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?
Harry: 😉
Harry: 😏
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Here’s a helpful life tip from yours truly. If anyone ever suggests that it would be such a cool idea to put glitter in your hair for an event, don’t do it. It may seem like a good idea and look amazing. But when you’re spending all of your time washing your hair repeatedly and it’s still not all coming out, that’s when you realize you fucked up. I feel like I’ve washed my hair about ten times these past few days, yet I’m still finding glitter everywhere I go.
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Nat: What was Whitney Houston's favorite coordination?
Nat: Haaaaaand Eyeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Nat: Lol I hate me.
After all the years of dreading turning the big 30, I have to say it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Especially since I’m living it up in Malibu, overlooking the water in a beautiful beach house with my best friend. It cannot get better than this.