#hild tlk

the nun pursed her lips, but eventually closed her eyes and softly sighed.

“then you must tell him.”

“tell him?”

your eyes were wide at the thought of telling uhtred of bebbanburg that you loved him. how could you?

he had lost so much, because of love and because of the whims of the soul—would the dane even give you a second glance? would he even show a sliver of interest in your saxon heart?

no, he wouldn’t.

you clenched your jaw. anything was possible. uhtred and his warriors had proven that on more than one occasion. but would it be the same with you? could anything happen to you? would he truly believe that you loved him?

most importantly, would he love you back?

hild leaned against the table, reaching out to take ahold of your hand.

“you must. life is too short. the good lord has shown us time and time again. tell him before it is too late for either of you,” she said, a soft smile adorning her features. "our hearts are made for love. we are not made to live life alone. i chose to give my love to god. but you... you should give your love to uhtred. i know you love him dearly. i've seen it for so long."

she was right. you knew it. but a part of you didn’t want to admit it.

life was short. you had lost so many people—neighbors, friends, almost every member in your own family. and you knew that it was the same for uhtred. if anything, he would understand that life was short. he saw warriors die more often than not. warriors that fought alongside him for so long only to die at the hand of a dane, or a saxon, or deadly flu. no one knew their end—no one knew when the love of their life would never wake up, staying asleep in perpetual darkness for the rest of eternity.

“what if he doesn’t feel the same?” you asked, pulling your hand away from the woman as anxiety pitted itself in your stomach.

you often had a problem with overthinking. today was no different for you.

“i think you’d be in for a surprise if you were to just speak to him,” she said. “if anything, it would do you some good to talk to him, even if you didn’t confess. you could find where your heart truly is and see if your head could follow it.”

“i know where my heart is… but… uhtred. he…” you trailed off, not watching as hild’s eyes grew wide. you would have continued, burying your face in your hands with a groan.

“uhtred what?”

that oh-so-familiar voice spoke right beside your ear. you flinched, head shooting in his direction, hands nearly slamming on the table underneath them.

the very man of your conversation stood there with that cheeky grin he always had.

“you’ve been talking about me?” he teased, sitting down beside of you and grabbing your cup of ale. “do tell. i’d love to hear it.”

hild silently excused herself, squeezing your shoulder as she passed by.

“i.. we were just… we were just discussing how you will be leaving again soon,” you said, looking up at him. you could feel your cheeks burn from embarrassment, although you didn’t know what you were truly embarrassed about. he didn’t know what you had really been talking about.

he grinned. “i think you’re lying.”

there’s no way he heard, right?

he downed the rest of your ale before he slammed the cup down on the table, his grin unwavering.

“i think it’s time the two of us talked,” he said. “if that’s what you’d like.”

"what would we even talk about?" you blurted. "there is nothing i need to tell you. is there something you've been needing to tell me?"

he raised an eyebrow, hands raised in mock defense.

"y/n, i am not here to interrogate you. i can tell when you're nervous. do i need to rough someone up?"

"what? do i need—no, i don't need you to rough anyone up," you replied, dejected as he continued to not confess his own feelings. if he confessed that he loved you, that would make everything much easier, right? he just needed to say it. then, you could say, i love you, too. uhtred was a psychic—he could read your mind. surely, he could. that would be so simple.

but when had your life ever been that simple?

it was as if the universe decided to throw you into the mud as soon as you were born. they were not about to let up, either.

you stared down at the table, silence floating thickly between the two of you.

uhtred let out a soft sigh. "i heard you," he said.

you paused for a moment.

you misheard him. yes, that was it.

"what?"

"i heard you," he repeated, this time his voice much softer. he brought a hand up to your chin, tilting your head to face him. "i heard what you said to hild."

your eyes began to burn as tears of embarrassment formed. you pursed your lips, eyes trained on his.

"and you did not think to lead with that?" you said, trying to keep your tears at bay. he did not need to see you cry. he already heard your most vulnerable confession. that was enough for one day.

you pulled away from his grasp, standing up in the process.

"y/n—"

"—i understand, my lord. you do not feel the same. you do not need to humor me."

"y/n."

"i will take my leave. we have a journey, and i need to prepare—"

"—y/n."

he stood up with you, hands cupping your cheeks to keep you from talking any more.

"please allow me just a moment to confess, as well," he said, frustration evident on his features.

you swallowed thickly, eyes not meeting his.

"like you said, life is short. the gods do not allow us any warning. they take. they take, and they never give..." he trailed off, his eyes trailing down to your lips. "but at times, they allow us to find the people we need. the people we love."

you paused, eyes darting up to his.

"uhtred?"

"i love you, too. i had planned on telling you in a more... appropriate manner, but as you can see, i needed to tell you before you believed the opposite."

your eyes widened. you did not mishear, this time. you heard him loud and clear.

he leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of your lips, restraining himself. he let go of you, giving you a faint smile.

"well, off you go. you do have to prepare for the morning, do you not?"

you froze in your spot, staring up at him in disbelief. without wasting another second, you leaned forward, a hand on the back of his neck. decency be damned—you pressed your lips to his, your lips molding perfectly together as he wrapped an arm around your torso.

your saxon heart had long been taken over by the dane, and you'd never trade it for anything... despite how unsure you were at the beginning of the night. you would have to say something about him eavesdropping, later. but for now, all you could think of was the fact that he was actually kissing you—and it wasn't in your daydreams.