#high&lowxreader

The sound that woke you wasn’t sharp, but it wasn’t soft either. Something clinked in the kitchen, not loud enough to be alarming, but just enough to pull you from the edges of sleep. You blinked in the dark, heart steady but curious. Normally, someone being up this late wasn’t strange in this house. Nine was often awake well into the early morning hours, headphones in, editing lyrics or playing something soft through his speakers. But something about this moment felt different—like your body knew something your mind hadn’t caught up to yet.

So you pushed the blankets aside and stood, your bare feet silent against the wooden floor as you padded down the hallway. The house was dim, touched only by the faint glow of the stove light leaking from the kitchen.

When you rounded the corner, you stopped.

Sarah was sitting on the floor.

Not standing at the counter. Not pacing like she usually did when her thoughts were loud. Just... sitting. Cross-legged on the cold tile, back against the cabinets, with a mug nestled between her palms. She didn’t notice you at first. Her eyes were fixed on the cup, steam curling up from its surface. Tea, probably. She didn’t like coffee unless it was drowning in sugar.

Sarah.

She was the kind of woman who never gave too much away. The kind who skipped over childhood anecdotes like they never existed, who laughed a little too dryly when people talked about family traditions, who could go drink for drink with the toughest guys in the room and still walk out on her own two feet. Most people underestimated her. Thought she was all bark and bravado.

But you knew better. She was fire. Fierce. And yet right now, in the quiet glow of the kitchen light, she looked like someone else entirely.

Small.

You shifted slightly, and the soft creak of the floor caught her attention. Her head snapped toward you, eyes wide for a split second before they softened.

“Sorry,” you murmured, voice thick with sleep. You rubbed your arm, suddenly uncertain. “Didn’t mean to sneak up on you. Why are you awake, dear?”

Sarah looked down at her tea, swirling it slowly. “Couldn’t sleep,” she said, her voice low. “Too much in my head. Tea helps sometimes.”

You nodded and crossed the kitchen without another word, easing down beside her until your thigh brushed hers. The tile was cool beneath you, grounding. You leaned your head on her shoulder, feeling her body tense just slightly at the contact. Her breath hitched. But she didn’t pull away.

“Want to talk about it?” you asked quietly, reaching over to trace your thumb gently along the back of her hand.

She didn’t answer at first. Her body was still, her thumb twitching slightly against the mug. You could feel the faint tremble in her fingers, subtle but steady. Her pulse was fast, and for a moment, you weren’t sure if it was your closeness that caused it or the thoughts storming behind her eyes.

Then, she placed her hand over yours, stopping your motion. Her grip was firm. Grounding.

“I never told you about my dad, did I?”

You turned your head slightly but didn’t move away. “No. You didn’t.”

She let out a breath. It sounded like she’d been holding it for years.

“He was a drunk,” she said. Her voice was calm, but it wasn’t steady. “Not the kind who slurred and stumbled. The kind who got mean. Controlled everything. He’d drink until the bottle emptied and the shouting started. Sometimes it was yelling. Sometimes it was worse.”

You didn’t say anything. Just let her keep going.

“He had this rule,” she continued. “No talking during dinner. No laughing unless he laughed first. No asking questions. I learned fast. Learned how to disappear even when I was in the room.”

She stared into her tea like she was watching old memories rise with the steam.

“My mom never left him. Said it was better to stay. Said we’d be homeless if we did. I hated her for a long time. Thought she chose him over me.”

You gently squeezed her hand.

“But when I turned eighteen,” she said, “I packed a bag, took the emergency cash I’d hidden for years, and left. Didn’t even say goodbye.”

The silence that followed was heavier now. Not uncomfortable—just full. Her words hung between you like something sacred.

“Sarah,” you said softly, turning your head to look at her. She didn’t meet your eyes.

“I don’t know how to be with you,” she said suddenly, quietly.

You blinked. “What do you mean?”

She hesitated, then finally looked at you. Her eyes were raw and open in a way you rarely saw.

“I mean I don’t know how to do this.” She gestured vaguely between the two of you. “Be soft. Let someone in. Trust that you won’t turn into him. That I won’t become her. That it’s safe.”

You sat up a little straighter, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“It is safe,” you said. “I’m not him. And you’re not her. This is different. This is us.”

She looked away again, chewing the inside of her cheek. You could see the battle in her expression—the part of her that wanted to believe, and the part that was still protecting old wounds.

You leaned in slowly and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. She froze, just for a moment, then let out a shaky breath.

“It’ll take time,” you said gently. “And that’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. When you’re ready, I’ll be ready too.”

Sarah stared at you then. Really stared. Like she was trying to memorize every inch of your face.

“You mean that?” she asked.

“With everything I have.”

For the first time in a while, she smiled. Not her smirk, not the playful grin she gave in group settings. A real smile. Small, tired, but real.

She set her tea aside and leaned her head against your shoulder this time. No flinch. No hesitation. Just quiet trust.

You sat there together on the floor, wrapped in the hush of the late night, her hand in yours, her heartbeat slowly returning to a calm rhythm.