whenever i* try to create / enter a headspace, i can never maintain a form that feels right.
I've tried a lot of things. irl appearance, various different sonas, fictional characters... no matter what, it doesn't stick.
generally i settle for a nebulous form. some wobbly sketch outline of a person with no defining features. i usually see this fluctuating outlined figure like a 3rd person camera in a videogame, and controlling it feels similar.
there's not a lot to do in "headspace". there's a couple rooms I've attempted to form, a tree i'll sit under sometimes, and a series of dark winding paths that fluctuate about as much as my avatar does.
sometimes I'll be able to have brief conversations with various fragmented phantoms, voices that fade away quickly and seem to belong to no one. often I'm just alone.
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Lieutenant Théodule Gillenormand had all the requisite elements to be what is called a fine-looking officer. He had ‘a girl’s waist’, a triumphant manner of trailing his sword, and a handlebar moustache. He came to Paris very rarely, so rarely that Marius had never seen him.
So rarely that Marius had never seen him? In all his 17 years of life? That maths kind of weirdly. Are we sure this isn't more isolation on Gill's end? I mean, even if he only came through every 5 years, that's three chances, and Marius, who did not seem to grow up going anywhere but the salon his grandfather went to, never saw him? Weird.
‘You’ll be staying with us for the rest of the week at least?’
‘I’m off again this evening, aunt.’
. . .
‘Stay, my dear Théodule, please.’
‘My heart says yes but my orders say no. It’s simply this: the garrison’s moving. We were at Melun, we’re now at Gaillon. To get from our old posting to the new one we have to go through Paris. “I’m going to see my aunt,” I said.’
‘And this is for your trouble.’ She put ten gold louis in his hand.
‘You mean, for my pleasure, dear aunt.’
Dang. Guy's got quite the glib tongue.
My batman’s taking my horse.
His what???
?????
(apparently it is an officer's personal servant)
She addressed Théodule bluntly, ‘Your cousin doesn’t recognize you, does he?’
‘No. I’ve seen him, but he’s never deigned to notice me.’
💀 Oh. That explains things.
Théodule is getting off at Vernon, is he? Where Marius' father once lived, hm?? 🔍
‘Marius! What an ugly name! What was the idea of calling him Marius? Whereas at least your name’s Théodule!’
‘I’d rather be called Alfred,’ said the officer.
Auntie Gill.. what's wrong with Marius... Time to go look up name meanings.
Marius: Mars / male
Théodule: gift/servant of God
Alfred: ...Elf counsel?
Huh. Well. I'm not sure what to do with this information.
‘Listen, Théodule.’
‘I am listening, aunt.’
‘Pay attention.’
‘I am paying attention.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, Marius goes off on his own.’
‘Uh huh!’
‘He travels.’
‘Ah hah!’
‘He doesn’t come home at night.’
‘Oh hoh!’
‘We’d like to know what’s behind all this.’
Sometimes Hugo reminds me that he's actually got a sense of humor. This bit is so funny. What even is this dialogue, these two are so goofy.
Haha, alright I like this guy. Agrees to follow Marius, not because he likes spying, but because he appreciates his aunt and her generosity. And then he falls asleep immediately on the coach.
Curiosity only piqued as to what sort of lady it could be when Marius buys The Best Flowers, and...
I'm getting the idea Marius is blind as a bat regarding his surroundings at all times. Théodule having zero troubles following him.
With both hands over his forehead, Marius was kneeling in the grass on a grave. He had strewn his bouquet over it. At the far end of the grave, on a little mound that marked the head, was a black wooden cross with this name in white letters: ‘COLONEL BARON PONTMERCY’. Marius could be heard sobbing.
The sweetheart was a tomb.
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Having crushes is so fucking dumb like wdym my heart flutters every damn time we chat even though we are friends???
What do you mean every single thing they say does little more than endear them???
What do you mean I go to sleep thinking about them and waking up with the same thoughts even though I know for a fact that it would never work out because I don't want to move to the other side of the world and I don't think they would want to do the same?
And yet every story they share shows glints of thoughtfulness even in a joke... what do you mean they still send a friend they fell out with a decade ago happy birthday even though they know that friend will never respond? Or that an older woman accidentally dialed their number and they became friends and call each other sometimes? What do you mean they created a bad date bingo to make a friend feel more at ease when he gets nervous about a date so that even if the date goes poorly it's something to joke and laugh about later?
Just.... they are so incredibly thoughtful and kind and so so so incredibly charming without even meaning to be....
