#hexenwrites

Jay: Aww, what's your dog's name? Carlos: Spartacus. Jay, yelling to Evie: TRY SPARTACUS! Evie, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK! Carlos: Jay: What's your favorite number?

Mal: Carlos is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life! Diego: Never done anything wrong?! He's set a city block on FIRE!

Chad: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Mal: Oh, I'm always running Mal: The question is from what

Diego: Mal, keep an eye on Carlos today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched. Mal: Sure, I'd love to see Carlos getting punched. Diego: Try again. Mal, sighing: I will try to stop Carlos from getting punched.

Mal: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Ben: Mal no. Carlos: Mistlefoe. Ben: Please stop encouraging her.

Mal: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Carlos without him noticing? Diego: Hey, Carlos, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny. Carlos: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser. Mal: ...

Mal: I run on spite, anger, and coffee when I can't have the bones of the innocent.

Carlos: Are you a cuddler? Mal: I'm a machine of death and destruction. Carlos: Diego: Yes, she is cuddler. Mal: Diego shut up.