#heteronormative

Reminder that there isn't anything heteronormative about butchfemme, even those who follow 1950s roles.

It's frankly illogical to frame the 1950s nuclear family as the standard for heterosexual couples, we recognize that antifeminists use this time period all the time to try convincing us that women always stayed at home yet we use it only being a decade as a counterargument, so why apply it to the entire human history?

Feminism has historically been against structures forced onto us by men with almost no group of thought to how we go about with each other because that isn't the point of feminism. So please quit the heteronormative rhetoric. It's just a method to overpolice homosexual couples and very blind to history. It's also misogynistic, how come we went from "women can be whatever they want" meant to uplift and validate mascs and butches to "you can only be slightly masculine and have to have certain behaviours or else your imitating a man you shemale!"

Russell Vought appeared today before the House Appropriations Committee, where members scolded him for neglecting to provide a budget for the year, which they need to do their jobs.

Representative Rosa DeLaur0 (D-CT) told Vought: “Be honest, this is never about government efficiency. In fact, an efficient government, a government that capably serves the American people and proves good government is achievable is what you fear the most. You want a government so broken, so dysfunctional, so starved of resources, so full of incompetent political lackeys and bereft of experts and professionals that its departments and agencies cannot feasibly achieve the goals and the missions to which they are lawfully directed. Your goal is privatization, for the biggest companies to have unchecked power, for an economy that does not work for the middle class, for working and vulnerable families. You want the American people to have no one to turn to, but to the billionaires and the corporations this administration has put in charge. Waste, fraud, and abuse are not the targets of this administration. They are your primary objectives.”

The use of the government to impose evangelical beliefs on the country, even at the expense of lives, also appears to be an administration goal, evidenced by Vought's authorship and implementation of Project 2025.

None of it!

And i just do not know what other people be doing that they can just want things within whats attainable when it comes to relationships. (F.e. my pretty friend has a boyfriend i find ugly and theyre happy together and she isnt distracted by the fact that she can do way better. I could never)

The idea of monogamously entertaining one man for sex is just not loading in this cabeza.

Its never just 'one'.

But it's at the same time never any one i approach for a longer term. Theres just a place holder for the category "man" with (sorry to be trans exclusionary with his but) a purpose to provide dick.

And i mean this respectfully, not that all men have to offer is dick, but more like thats all i can accept from them.

I cant even pretend to want more from them relationship-wise while still having feelings that thats what i should desire. Heteronormatively speaking i should want to run into one guy and eventually like him so much i want to keep seeing him or at the very least take the steps that lead me to know him enough to like him.

When i tell you i don't care enough 🥲

And it feels almost evil that i dont have the capacity to care like that. Because its always the shocked reaction

You never had a relationship!?

You've never had a crush!?

You've never been in love?

You never love anyone enough?

Meanwhile the last one isnt entirely true it feels like the only love as a childless adult that is validated is the love of a romantic partner.

If i look at my coworkers theyre going on abt the partners they color life with each day in anecdotes and little stories, and they're literally building life, TOGETHER

Making decisions TOGETHER investing TOGETHER making their own family TOGETHER

I feel more than left out of the desire or experience of wanting to do that with someone and if i look at it socioeconomically and socioculturally i think aromanticism as an adult puts me at a huge disadvantage in life.

Because life is organized around heteronormativity.

But not just when it comes to finances and economics but also socially. Which place in ranking will people give you? (When it comes to importance to reply to first for example). Usually a partner is someone you communicate with way above average. That communication becomes socialisation and means you exchange values and learn from eachother, but also you learn about YOUR social identity as a partner to another person. (You find out what type of gf you are).

Additionally this social development is completely lost on me. Thats why i feel so immature all the time. I have no idea what its like to be serious about/ or choose someone and go through life thinking about their feelings.

Then also cognitively im missing a part of perspective-taking you probably learn from orbiting around af a partner

It's right there in the name: 'normative'. For that to happen women of color in general have to be more prevalent in media. They're simply not.

If you think a cishet relationship which involves a woman of color, especially a black woman, is the same as one in which the woman is white, you really need to read up on racialized misogyny and do some self examination. These kinds of claims harm black women in their representation. Until they're seen as readily as any other woman in a relationship, them being depicted in a cishet relationship--especially a mixed race relationship and double extra if the man isn't white--is a far cry from the heteronormativity of a cis white straight couple.

This is - hopefully obviously - parody, but it's worth a moment.

When people insist that describing reality accurately is some kind of bigotry and that you're an istaphobe of some variety, what they're really saying is that they and their beliefs are disconnected from the real world, and they object to the imposition of reality into their fantasy world.

It's the same thing as when Xians call you "mean" or accuse you of "hating god" for pointing out the bible's complete and obvious lack of coherence with reality.

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