#here's mostly why

I remember when the first book of heroes of olympus came out and everyone was excited and I was ecstatic and then i spent the entire book going “Where’s percy? I don’t like the new children, gimme my old children.” And it was that whole fear of new things or whatever, and it took me a while to warm up to them.

When Son of Neptune came out I did spend a big part going “Now where’s Annabeth?” but I had an easier time accepting Hazel and Frank and I loved Reyna at first sight, I thought she was a fierce bugger.

I obviously enjoy the ridiculous amount of percabeth that came after that, and the next books have their ups and downs but I overall enjoyed the series, if I don’t start nitpicking.

And the thing is: I distinctly remember the time when the norm was THE NEW KIDS ARE GREAT LET’S LOVE THEM and I felt left out because I was on the fence about  them. I very shyly started writing about the seven of them as a group, because I was getting used to these new characters showing up, and eventually the magic happened. I liked them. I assimilated them into my PJO fic repertoire and there you have it.

And then college starts and steals 95% of my free time for two full years and when I drag myself out of it for long enough to scroll tumblr, all over the fandom it’s all “the seven”, with quotes and derision and everybody hating on them and going “they are not close friends!” and I’m like... “What did i miss?”

And i’m just using this particular topic as an example because it was the last controversy I spotted, there’s been other points along the way. And I’m not agreeing or disagreeing with anything, or saying I’m going to start writing to the fandom’s whims, but honestly every time I come back and check on the fandom everything’s been flipped on its head and I feel like I fell out of the bandwagon about a hundred miles back. And I’m a bit too old to bicker with people on the internet about what they like or dislike on a fictional book about greek gods and their heroic demi-children. You do you.

But it does kind of put a damper on my will to write. Because it makes me feel like I don’t know these characters anymore, and maybe what I’m writing is out of character and I didn’t even notice. I don’t know. I’ve been very disheartened lately.

Not like it matters, all I can write is fluff.

And it’s not even very good quality fluff.