I had a few people I was really close with but now picking up the phone to call or text any of them makes me feel anxious. I feel a closer to connection to those I have a parasocial relationship with than any people I actually know, and it’s starting to scare me a little. I keep getting messages from all my best friends saying that they miss me.

Also, I’m very sick. Which isn’t helping.

I just wanna be left alone to rot, but the more selfish parts of me love being checked on

"A conch! I already have the loop picked out if you don't mind using it."

"What's it made from? And do you have any other piercings?"

"Um, I don't know, silver I think?" Jade's smile faded a little, but she pointed at her earlobes and the dangling earrings there for the piercer. "Um, I just have these, but I love them! I really wanted to like, start my body mod journey."

The tall, tattooed woman simply nodded, pulling on nutrile black gloves and examining a tray with various tools on it. Jade stared openly-- she wasn't very good at averting her eyes in politeness, she'd been working on it but, well-- She was gorgeous.

Jade had never seen someone so pale before; it couldn't've been all makeup either, the tone was almost luminous. It was interrupted by swirling black lines, like vines twisting from her neck all the way down to her fingertips. It matched her hair, which was thick and black and gorgeously wavy. Her face was contoured with various shades of grey, her full lips bisected by a silver loop. Brilliant green eyes shone behind long, black lashes, like a precious stone.

A peridot. Jade swallowed, remembering her grandfather giving her one for her seventh birthday. Almost lime green and beautifully reflective, she'd lifted it to the light and felt like she was holding a little green sun.

It was only when she realized those eyes were smiling as they looked right back at her that Jade flinched backwards in shock. Crap. Jade cringed. Staring again.

"Can I have a look at it?" She asked, her voice cool and light. "The jewelry you want me to pierce you with?"

Jade nodded wordlessly and pulled it out of her pocket, still in a plastic bag. She was new to it all, but she wasn't an idiot, she knew to keep things sterile.

"I'm Jade, by the way." She said awkwardly, dropping the little baggy into an outstretched palm.

"Porrim." Her piercer replied, gently pulling out the bag and holding it up to the light, turning it this way and that. Her gaze was searching, cautious but not scarily so. It put Jade at ease, but also made her tense, which was a confusing reaction and she suddenly didn't know how to sit. Should she cross her legs? Or would that make her look uneasy?

Jade clenched her fists in her lap as she willed her knees to give her an answer, the leather chair squeaky slightly as she shifted. Eventually, Porrim spoke up.

"Well, it's not silver. Or at least not all the way, this is silver plate. That's not necessarily a problem, but if you have a metal allergy it might not heal right." She looked at Jade with a thoughtful frown. "Do you have any allergies?"

Jade grimaced. "Yeah, I get a rash. I can wear silver and gold but, it's so expensive."

Porrim didn't seem surprised, putting the loop back in the bag and sealing it up, then yanking off her gloves. She strode to a nearby cabinet, then said a little 'ah' and reached in to grab something. Jade frowned, feeling like her dreams of getting an actually cool piercing were off the table. Dave was never going to let her hear the end of this.

"What do you think of this one?"

Jade blinked down at the little silver loop, almost identical to the one she'd bought earlier! "It's great! I love it."

"Alright." Porrim said at her left. "This ear, right?"

"Yes, please! But, wait. How much is--"

"You let me worry about that." There was a snap of latex and a cotton ball with something cold rubbing against her ear, and Jade's heart leapt in her throat.

"Okay." Jade swallowed. "I trust you."

"Good." Porrim's voice had a smile. "Deep breaths."