#helluva via

I had already posted this illustration back in August, but I accidently deleted it somehow :, ( so I'm reposting it. I'm so sad... Anyways, enjoy again! Some behind the scenes stuff:

And remember, she was awake when Stella was screaming abour Stolas cheating, she knows what's going on already. They didn't do anything to try and hide what happened from their daughter.

It's also implied that Stella has always yelled and been like this, since we see a picture of younger her in s2ep1. This is important to show how via has always been living in a dysfunctional household. Her mother reacts to issues by yelling and throwing things, potentially physical violence too, and Stolas has needed anti depressants since before he met blitzø again. While Via doesn't know about that, his depression is going to have affected the way he raised Via.

Both her parents are unable to cope with emotions in a healthy way and that will have caused her to struggle as well.

When she finally has enough during the ep and runs off, Stolas goes after her and talks to her but isn't able to tell her the real circumstances for the marriage, she doesn't know why her parents act the way they do, or why they don't love each other. she doesn't know why Stolas cheated with some other guy or why he invited him just to flirt with the whole time. She's scared her nightmare will come true, she always has been due to her unstable environment and now there is someone Stolas could leave with. That is terrifying for her, that is where she starts to hate blitzø.

And all Stolas can do is promise he won't, but he repeatedly fails to change his behaviour. It's shown in all episodes we see via play a large part in: Stolas does something wrong without thinking about via, ignoring her feelings, forgetting important dates, he apologizes but then goes on to do the same again and again.

That is not enough, that makes via lose trust in him, makes her wait for the next time he fucks up, for the next apology, for the cycle to continue. It is meaningless if he doesn't change.

But that's all Via has, Stella is shown to be mostly absent, not wanting anything to do with Via. If her dad leaves then she will have no one and she constantly feels like he could leave at any moment.

In loo loo land, he paid more attention to blitzø than her.

In seeing stars, when she saw him again after running away becuz of the divorce she was also now having to cope with (which she could easily blame on the cheating and blitzø), blitzø is there, and had been with Stolas the whole day

In sinsmas, blitzø is there when she went to find her dad, blitzø who was the reason this was happening to begin with in her mind, was the one Stolas was now spending all his time with

And let's talk about the divorce a bit more.

For 17 yrs she has had both parents present, even as toxic to each other as they are, Via had always lived with both of them. And now she won't. Now she has to get used to both of her parents separating, living away from each other, all the moving their stuff out, the arguments, procedures and the legal side.

Suddenly everything has changed, her fears are getting worse, nothing is stable in her life anymore. And at 17 too.

When a divorce happens when the child is young, they get used to it, their memories of it get vague over time, even if having seperate parents will always have its own issues, they get used to it and adapt better since young children are overall better at adapting to changes like this, they haven't developed their emotions properly yet and are unable to understand what's happening.

But she is 17, she has always had 2 parents, she isn't used to it, and by that age she is old enough to understand, to feel those emotions. She is dealing with a lot and her fathers continuous issues are getting to her.

And then mastermind happens

Stolas thinks he is going to die when he goes to save blitzø, when he claims to have committed crimes he never did.

Via watches him do this, she probably saw how they were about to sentence blitzø to death, and now her dad is taking the blame, believing he would die; she believes the same.

Her father, after promising he would never leave, after repeatedly messing up and leaving Via last, after prioritizing blitzø and getting carried away with him and focusing on him so much, after being unable to do anything but apologize only to do the same again until those apologies mean nothing.

He is going to permanently end his life, leave his daughter behind forever, for the guy Via was always scared of losing him to.

Her nightmare that she has always has is coming true.

Her dad is leaving her for someone else, we dont even see him think or speak about her while he is doing it, she doesn't cross his mind.

Her not being able to find him was her fear all throughout her life and she had told him multiple times, ask if he would, and he was still going to die for someone else.

And then he doesn't even remember to call her till the next day, and they can't even speak becuz Stella doesn't allow via contact with him.

She has to deal with not having her dad there, for a month. She is with Stella and Andy and unable to speak to her dad all month. He tries to call her but she can't answer and she feels more abandoned than ever. Her mother still seems uninterested in her. The only one who cared even a little bit about her is gone and she's all alone having to cope with how she feels, how much has happened.

She was right, after everything, after all her fears, after constantly feeling like he was close to leaving, the insecurity she dealt with her whole life became true and she was proven right. All her fathers promises mean nothing, they were empty and his actions never reflected what he said he would do.

She clearly misses him, but she expected this, she was just waiting for it to happen.

Then she finds the pills, realises how unhappy he was in the relationship and she goes to find him.

And when she confronts him, this is what she says.

"You lied to me, you said you would never leave me, you promised . . . It was your choice. You chose him . . . You don't love mother, you don't love me, you love him . . . So does that mean you just stayed miserable because of me? Was I some fucking obligation? Is that why you didn't even hesitate when you got a chance to leave?"

When Stolas asks to explain she just says she can't. This isn't her genuinely blaming him, she isn't mad at him really. She just can't handle that conversation. So much has been changing, her life's been more unstable than ever, she never had ppl in her life who could manage their own emotions and she is a teenager and struggling to manage her growing emotions already, and that lack of guidance only makes her ability to worse. She was never taught how, she cannot deal with how she is feeling and simply cannot stand to hear the explanation. Seeing Stolas is hard for her.

And what I think makes this scene even sadder is what Stolas says in s2ep1 to Stella:

"You and I were arranged for one reason, to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family . . . The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life . . . And the only thing the Goetia family wanted out of our marriage is already 17, so it's over, I'm done."

Via wasn't even wrong. Stolas said exactly what she is accusing him of, even if he didn't mean it like that, even if she didn't hear. Even if it was for him to explain to Stella why he was finally thru with it, why nothing she did could change his mind. He still said those things, he still left once he had a chance, he still chose blitzø.

He didn't leave Via once he got the chance, he left Stella, but in the end his actions still had an affect on Via, one that he once again failed to realise.

And Via doesn't have the full story either.

All she knows is her parents never loved each other and it always seemed like her dad would leave and she was always scared of that happening. Then suddenly he cheats and starts spending more time with the guy until he eventually almost dies for him without even thinking about her. And she finds out he needed pills, that he was miserable. And she's just so upset over it, so scared over the fact he almost did die, the fact everything she thought would happened did happen. She almost lost her dad and he didn't even say anything to her before going to get himself killed. He admits to being sad in the marriage, to Via being the only good thing, but Via's grown up in such a toxic environment, she misinterprets what he said, she feels like it's her fault he felt this way, and she doesn't even wait for any more apologies.

She's heard his all her life and they never meant anything, they were never a sign he would change, so why should she listen to another one while knowing it was just another lie?