#helluva imp

Arnie is an errand dog..😔

GUYS I KNEW I SEEN THAT MAN (THE ONE NEXT TO THE TV) AND I REWATCHED MASTERMIND AND THAT IS AN EXACT FUCKING MATCH YALL.

Blitzo: I sleep with a gun under mine.

Moxxie: You two are pathetic.

Loona: Oh, yeah? What do you sleep with?

My headcanon that Stella’s favorite hobby is “people watching” bc the Hellaverse team didn’t give her much.

“They’re lower class sh*t yet I’d trade my life for theirs in a f*cking heartbeat…”

Something in the Helluva Boss fandom that I’ve been finding more and more… silly, is people assuming that D.H.O.R.K.S. are going to be some major threat and in general making a big deal about ‘Humanity finding out about Hell’ ever since Truth Seekers. Because I feel like all those takes are kinda making one BIG assumption:

The assumption that humanity actually stands a chance against the forces of Hell.

I realize much of this is probably due to the last twenty some-odd years of ‘America Humanity, Fuck Yeah!’ stories with humans beating back hordes of demons/aliens/zombies/etc. with grit, moxie and big guns leading some people to assume that the forces of America Humanity MUST be able to pose some major threat to Hell now that they KNOW that Hell exists.

But let’s take a step back and actually consider the track record we’ve seen of the ‘elite’ of humanity against the forces of Hell:

In their first encounter with the forces of Hell, D.H.O.R.K.S. had an entire facility SLAUGHTERED by three imps and a hellhound.

Then in their second appearance, with over a year of preparation and research and the full support and funding of the American government (they weren’t even hiding that one XD) to create THE most advanced and capable anti-demon weaponry human science can devise, which also ended up being wielded by actual ANGELS, just how well did this might of humanity perform?

It got trashed by TWO imps and a hellhound.

Seriously, outside of the one time when they got briefly blindsided by a redneck family thanks to like some inexperience and Moxxie fucking up, I.M.P. have been utterly wasting any humans in their way.

And let’s not forget that the ‘imps and a hellhound’ bit. Sure, Blitzo, Moxxie and Millie have shown themselves to be fairly capable fighters by Hell’s standards, but they aren’t exactly truly exceptional standouts. Plus they’re still, you know, imps. They’re kind of the definition of an ‘everyman’ in Hell.

And ‘the most bleeding edge military advancements’, wielded by angels might you, couldn’t even beat that.

So yeah, I’d say that even if they don’t realize it yet, humanity in the Hellaverse is massively, terrifyingly, HILARIOUSLY outmatched against the forces of Hell.

As in, if the D.H.O.R.K.S. ever manage to get that portal of theirs big enough to send an actual army into Hell, then I think it’s safe to assume that army is going to immediately fucking DIE. Like they portal into Wrath and just get casually ripped to pieces by Millie’s family and their farmhands.  

And that’s if they get lucky and don’t manage to annoy any Goetia or one of the Sins.

All in all, I’m pretty confident that D.H.O.R.K.S. plus the cherubs are going to remain firmly in the position of ‘comic-relief villains’. With any actual threat they bring to our heroes being some indirect result of their actions, rather than anything D.H.O.R.K.S. actually does. Such as the fallout of their shenanigans getting I.M.P. in trouble with the higher-up of Hell. Or the messes they’ve caused being used as ammo by Stella and Andrealphus to smear and discredit Stolas.

And personally, I just think that’s more fun and fitting, you know?

Now the question remains whether to put the time and energy into untangling them or just plug it in as is. :/

I really hope we don't see a father worse than Crimson on the show because damn. >_<

Stolas is now the receptionist. Millie's pregnancy means she might have to take a break from I.M.P and Sallie May might fill in for her.