The First Night || Cassian Andor x Reader
⌞Short One Shot⌝
— summary: your first night as parents. or: you're exhausted and healing while cassian stays close like it's his last mission left.
✮ pairing: male/female. rating: fluff, non-explicit.
✮ warnings: post-partum/childbirth, a very tender cassian *sobs*, a lil silly at the end, etc.
✮ word count: ~1,150
author's note: hi all! i've been in a rut lately and can't really write fully fleshed out one shots/chapters as of late but i found this lil draft & thought it was cute (the thought of cass so tender like this.. hhhnh)
ps- iykyk: ironically enough, this 'concept' was written months ago in my journal. 🥲
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The room is dim while machines hum low as they monitor with soft, steady beeps. There's a faint smell of antiseptic and fabric softener lingering in the air. The quiet in the medcenter room is not one of tension or waiting, but one that feels like serenity and security.
Half-dozing off, you're propped up on a few pillows, hair damp from the sweat that wouldn’t stop hours ago. You’re wearing one of Cassian’s shirts now because the hospital gown made you feel like a patient instead of a person. Your newborn baby is asleep on your chest, impossibly small and impossibly real.
Cassian leans on the edge of the armchair nearby. He hasn't taken his eyes off you in.. he doesn’t know how long. Time stopped feeling real the moment your baby's cry broke through the air for the first time.
He's worn out from today too but refuses to sleep. Instead, he just watches protectively over the two of you. His eyes land on you first. In your half asleep state with your mouth slightly parted, wearing his shirt. Then at her, the tiny rise and fall of his daughter's breaths against your chest.
You look like a dream, like something he never thought he’d deserve. He still couldn't believe this wasn't a chapter of a story from someone else’s life.
You shift again and whimper quietly from the soreness and pain radiating throughout your body.
Cassian is on his feet before he even realizes it. He crosses the room, hands hovering before they land. One softly carressing your cheek while the other cradles the baby's head. Carefully, he eases the baby from your chest, gently shushing under his breath like it's muscle memory. “It’s okay, love. I’ve got her. You sleep.”
Your brows twitch as if you might protest, but your body's exhaustion immediately gives in, leading you into a soft slumber. He rocks side to side with the baby now cradled in his arms. She's tiny, warm, red-faced, squishy and a part of you, a part of him.
His.
He swallows down the knot in his throat and an emotion that feels too big to name, his heart swelling at the reality of it all. He carries her over to the armchair he’s been using as a perch all day before sitting down, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Then another to the tiny bit of hair that’s still drying from earlier.
She makes a face in her sleep. One that looks like a pout, like the one you always make when you're tired. Cassian melts.
“I know,” he whispers, voice hoarse from everything. “It’s a lot. You had a big day, hm?” His hand cups her back while his thumbs rub tiny, careful circles.
“I’ve done a lot of things in my life,” he says quietly, almost to himself. “But this... this is the only one that made me feel… new. Like I get to start over."
Then, there's a little noise that escapes your lips as you shuffle in your sleep—a half-moan that makes his eyes shift to you instantly, protective as always. Your head turns slightly, and your lashes flutter. He waits with his breath held.
There's a pause.
You settle back into sleep.
He softly exhales before coming back to you with the baby in his arms. He carefully climbs beside you into the narrow medcenter bed, maneuvering slowly like he’s defusing a bomb.
He finally manages to lay the baby back onto his chest comfortably and places his arm onto her back. You let out the tiniest sigh and nuzzle into his shoulder, your hand finding his thigh under the blanket.
“You can keep sleeping, love.” he murmurs. “I’ve got you both.”
Cassian is still tired but doesn’t sleep, not that'd he even want to.
He just watches the way his daughter's tiny chest rises with his. And he watches the way your body curls instinctively around him and the new life between you.
It’s the safest he’s ever felt.
He kisses the top of your head, one hand still steady on the baby’s back while the other tugs absently at the edge of her swaddle.
After a moment, he whispers:
“Thank you. For her. For you. For this.”
Cassian closes his eyes for just a moment as he let's it all sink in. There’s nothing left to chase—he’s home.
[end]
｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ
꩜ BONUS:
It's around midnight when you’re half-dozing off again, shortly after having fed your daughter who's now tucked on your chest. But it's then when you feel a tiny squirm.
You groan. “Cass…”
Cassian’s halfway into a nap beside you, but immediately sits up like someone screamed. “What? What’s wrong—what is it?”
“She peed. I think. Maybe worse.”
Cassian blinks. Processes. “I can do it.”
You blink back at him. “…You can?”
He’s already standing. “Yes. Of course. It’s a diaper. I’ve done worse.”
“You’ve hotwired Imperial transports under fire.”
“Exactly,” he says, scooping her up like a soldier on a mission. “How hard can it be?”
Answer? Very. Very hard.
You watch from the bed as he carefully lays her on the changing pad. He opens the supply bag the nurse stocked for you and squints at its contents like he’s about to interrogate them.
“Okay,” he mutters, taking a deep breath.
You stifle a giggle as he untapes the diaper slowly, then freezes.
You peek with one eye closed. “Is it bad?”
“It’s… fine.”
It's not fine. The moment the diaper opens, she starts kicking, hard. Her feet are flailing like she's trying to start a fight with Cassian. Her little heel smacks right into the dirty diaper and smears it across her own thigh.
He recoils. “I had a plan,” he huffs, fumbling for wipes. “She ambushed me.”
“She’s a baby, Cass!"
“She’s a saboteur.”
Your daughter who's still squirming lets out a high-pitched squawk as he cleans her off thoroughly.
He looks personally betrayed. “She’s slippery,” he grumbles, grabbing a fresh diaper and fumbling with the flaps.
But finally, he gets the new diaper on. It’s a little lopsided but it fits securely over her as she fusses between tiny grunts and whines.
Cassian scoops her back into his arms, looking half-wild and flushed with sweat, before crossing the room toward you with the most defeated expression you’ve ever seen on him.
“She did that on purpose,” he mutters, placing her gently back in your arms. “She waited until I was overconfident.”
You smile up at him while he huffs. Though, you don't let him sulk for long before you guide him back down beside you again. He curls up quickly, tugging the blanket up, one arm already across your waist, eyes trained on the baby like she might attack again.
She yawns, big and gurly before stretching one tiny arm in Cassian’s direction. He can't help but melt. Again.
“…She’s trying to apologize, Cass" you say, softly.
“Mhm. That’s what the gurgle meant.” he answers, stifling a smile before pressing a kiss to your temple.
｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ
Late into the night, when the sky's dark blue glow leaks in through the window, you hazily wake up when you feel the bed shift. Cassian is easing back beside you, daughter in his arms, cradling her like she's a constellation he somehow caught with both hands.
She lets out a sleepy grunt with one tiny fist stretching sharply across his collarbone. Cassian winces for a second.
“She’s plotting again,” he mutters, not expecting a reply.
You grin, eyes still closed. “She gets that from you.”
He huffs a laugh, settling in beside you both.
“Lucky me,” he murmurs.
