#hell is terrible

Aid and Comfort

by TurnSpitDog

Rated T,  12,693 words

Status: Complete

Summary: 

Cut off from access to Earth, the hosts of Hell find other ways to torment Crowley. Aziraphale provides a refuge.

Why We Love It: 

A story that sticks to canon, in this Book Omens fic Aziraphale and Crowley don’t live in each other’s pockets, and Aziraphale is actually rather snippy and somewhat protective of his private space. But when Crowley starts having a problem with Hell, Aziraphale immediately steps up to help him. 

With funny, clever dialogue, we’re treated to multiple scenes of how Hell is slowly driving Crowley mad, until the final, crucial scene where it seems all is lost. In the end, our angel and demon pair have to admit that they’re better off together than apart.  Obviously. 

Tags: Book Omens, Hell is terrible, BAMF Aziraphale, Moving in together, First Kiss

Review by @spectrallydistracted

(Prompt fills for Quefish's Ineffable Kinktober list.)

Crowley has his own brand of perfectionism.

Chapter Rating T.

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That did it. Aziraphale slammed shut his book with a loud report, lips pressed together in a determined line; snapped off his reading glasses, and strode out the door into the garden, where Crowley, sure enough, could be found leaning on a spade, a bandana tied sweatband-style around his head, berating the foxgloves.

“Should be ashamed!” he spat. “Think you’re something special? Medicinal plant? Is that an excuse for half-arsed blooming? And you, you’re hardly more than seedpods. I’ve half a mind to dig you up here and how – do better or you’re going on the compost heap aaaanh!”

“Stop that this minute!” barked Aziraphale in his best platoon-sergeant voice, hand clamped onto Crowley’s shoulder.

“Wha – hah – angel?”

“Stop addressing these lovely creatures this way. I won’t have it.”

Crowley collected himself, shaking his head (it made his long russet locks – he’d been growing it out since he moved in – catch the sunlight.

“Angel, it’s how I’ve always kept ’em in line, and I haven’t got plans to stop, just ‘cos we live in the country. Yeah, they look pretty to you now, but I’m not takin’ the chance on ’em slackin’ off. Minute they think they can get away with somethin’, they’ll try.”

“I can feel them quaking from the parlour. Angels can sense these things, you know.”

“That’s the point. They need the fear put in ’em, can’t let em think that anything but the best is good enough. With luck, you keep ’em terrorised, maybe you’ll get an eight out of ten. Can’t let ’em think too well’ve themselves –”

“Because it worked so well on you?” Aziraphale snapped.

More softly, a moment later: “Dear, close your mouth, you’re catching flies.”

Crowley flung the spade to the ground and walked over to the bed, looking out past the hedge.

“You don’t understand, angel. They start thinkin’ good enough’s good enough, they –”

“I understand perfectly well,” said Aziraphale in the same quiet voice. “I understand what it’s like to be spoken to like that. So do you.”

A loud huff of breath, but still no answer.

“I remember a time when you looked at what you’d made, and said Aren’t you gorgeous! Don’t you? Before things changed.”

“Yeah,” Crowley said, a little mulishly, still not turning round.

“And it wasn't for the better, was it? Century after century, heaven shamed, and Hell threatened. And all it accomplished? All it did, Crowley, was bend us out of shape, through all those years of trying to be what we weren’t, or cover it up when we couldn’t. All that time when we could have been together – if only we’d been allowed. Instead of play-acting artificial versions of ourselves.”

Crowley’s shoulders were shaking. “Fuck, angel, don’t.”

“No, Crowley, you don’t. Please. Don’t keep repeating the past. It hurt dreadfully, being afraid of what might be done to us. Knowing someone would always find fault, when all we did was our best. Maybe not in Hell's opinion, or Heaven’s. But where it counted.”

Crowley tried to pretend he was only wiping off sweat, but Aziraphale saw him hold his bandana to his eyes, heard him sniff deeply and wetly.

“We cared for them. We protected them. I blessed where I wasn’t meant to, and you only pretended to be evil, and we're no small part of the reason it's all still here. I think we can both really be quite proud of that.”

A pause, and then: “I am certainly proud of you.”

Aziraphale wasn’t quite sure how Crowley ended up in his arms, or what he was saying through hitching sobs, except the word angel again and again.

Finally: “So fucking afraid. For so long.”

“I know, darling. But it’s over. It left a mark on both of us, but because of you, I see things differently than I used to, and so ought you.”

He pressed a kiss to Crowley’s hand. “Your plants are perfectly lovely,” he said. “There’ll be droughts and deluges and all the caprices of existence, and they won't always be perfect, but they’re doing the best they can. Just as you’ve done, no matter how afraid you were of Hell, or how angry you were at Heaven. You can put it all down now. And I won’t have you visiting it on them. Look.”

Sunlight slanted through the plane tree near the rockery, dappling the turf with a fractal, shifting pattern of light. Bees hummed a muted harmonia mundi in the scarlet trumpets of the penstemons; there were cushiony clouds of phlox, nebulas of climbing rose, galaxies of Queen Anne’s Lace, each floret a little star. Big hollyhocks, purple and fuchsia and white with crimson throats, nodded against the back wall of the cottage, and as they watched, a stonechat perched on the sundial.

“This is ours. You made it, and I won’t have you blackguarding any part of it.”

The stonechat took flight.

“There, now. Let’s go round, and tell then all how splendid they are. I’m sure it’ll do them nothing but good.”

Comment On AO3

I'm trying to find two kinds of fics, the first is where it happens around the missing bookshop from the 1800s with the promotion?

I remember reading a fic where Crowley arrived too late and Aziraphale got taken to Heaven and he stayed there until Crowley was given Adam, and was sent back to Earth. I didn't get far, I only got until the point where Crowley revealed he kept all of Aziraphale's books for the last 200 years

The second is more of asking for recs, specifically, do you know any kind of fics where Aziraphale gets dragged down to Hell with Crowley because he was still holding onto Crowley in the Edinburgh episode?

Thanks! 💜

Hello. I think the fic you've lost is...

Never Leave Your Side by rattatatosk (T)

Crowley had always known it was a possibility; either or both of them being replaced. But after over five thousand years, it had always seemed a very distant possibility, more theoretical than anything. He'd never thought it would actually happen. But now it had. (An alternate timeline AU. In 1800, Aziraphale opened his bookshop, only for Gabriel and Sandalphon to show up, offering a promotion that came with a full-time position in Heaven. Only some quick thinking and savvy thwarting on Crowley's part kept Aziraphale on Earth. But what if Crowley hadn't been there to intervene?)

And I can only find one fic where Aziraphale is dragged down to hell with Crowley, though there is also one where do goes to hell to rescue him. Mind the tags on both of these!...

Hell Hath No Fury Like Idiots in Love by Somewhere_in_Wales (M)

After Crowley drinks the laudanum, he gets pulled down to Hell for punishment. But what if a certain Angel still had a tight hold of his waist when it happened? In the depths of darkness, they face torturous beasts, HellFire, personal demons and a Lord of Hell in their bid to escape. Featuring a long-suffering Lord of the Flies, wall-pinning and (consenting) undressing (not sexual... okay, it's a bit sexual).

Grave Danger by Paige_Turner36 (E)

Aziraphale goes down to Hell to rescue Crowley.

The Place You Need to Reach is actually the name of the series, and it took me far too long to figure out why I couldn't find it! Thank you for the rec. Mind the tags and warnings, folks!...

The Persephone Clause by Zetared (T)

When Crowley is forcibly recalled to home office, Aziraphale conspires with a denounced saint and strikes a deal with the agents of Hell to get him back. Part one of The Place You Need to Reach series

We have similar fics recommended here and here on our #heaven is terrible and #hell is terrible tags. I have a couple more each for Crowley and Aziraphale...

Hell’s Mercy (Just Our Little Joke) by MagnetoTheMagnificent (NR)

What if the bucket of holy water missed Ligur, and Hastur and Ligur were able to capture Crowley?

O, Gather Up The Brokenness by EdosianOrchids901 (T)

In Crowley’s worldview, mistakes mean that he’s worthless, unlovable, and deserves abandonment. When he makes a tiny error on a report, he spirals into a breakdown. Can Aziraphale help him put the pieces back together?

Protect you by starryfull13 (T)

Something happens to Crowley in Hell. Aziraphale tries to help him, but he knows it's not enough. The events not only linger on Aziraphale but on Crowley too as later he hears about a crazy plan the demon is concocting, and it's far too dangerous for Aziraphale's liking.

Nothing Else Matters by EdosianOrchids901 (T)

When two angry Archangels drop by the shop, Aziraphale pleads with Crowley not to intervene. After surviving a harsh punishment, can Aziraphale be honest about why Crowley’s safety is so important to him? And can Crowley work though his guilt for not protecting Aziraphale?

Bring Me Back To You by dreamingofwinter (M)

When Aziraphale returns to Earth after being recalled to Heaven for thirty years, he finds the years have taken an unexpected emotional toll on him - and his relationship with Crowley. Struggling to articulate his emotions, the angel has a long way to go before things can ever go back to normal.

Aziraphale's recovery may take some time, but Crowley will always be by his side to help him through the hard times.

What I Am by Anonymous (E)

Aziraphale knows what he is, in Heaven. He’s dirty, and tainted, and easy. He’s good for working off stress. He’s a lower angel, a demoted Cherub banished to Earth and forbidden from saying no. He’s Gabriel’s favourite, though he doesn’t understand why. He knows all too well what he is. But it doesn’t matter. Because Heaven is good, and all that they do must be good in return. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much he hates it. Heaven cannot possibly be wrong.

Right?

Mind the tags on a couple of these, folks!

Like after the body swap one of them is like “dude wtf I’m gonna murder them”

Here are a couple of fics where they talk about how Heaven treats Aziraphale, and a couple of fics where they talk about how Hell treats Crowley...

Definitions of Love by organizechaos (T)

Aziraphale thinks that all the abuse and trauma he endured in heaven is ‘love’. After being freed after the apocalypse, the angel is beyond happy. He wants nothing more than to spend eternity with Crowley but the demon is ready to put a name to their feelings. They both know that they care for each other deeply and when Crowley finally has the courage to put it in words (‘I love you’), it sends Aziraphale spiraling into believing Crowley will start treating him like heaven did.

"We- we don't have to pretend anymore.” Crowley stuttered out, golden eyes looking frantically about the angel. His sunglasses were clutched tightly in the palm of his hand, “The apocalypse is over, it has been for years. Can't we- can't we say it now?" his voice wavered only slightly.

"I don't love you, Crowley." Aziraphale emphasized each word to better help the demon understand. He had never truly loved something in all his years of existence, he didn’t think he was capable. To love another being — especially Crowley...

"I could never love you."

In a Perfect World, I would Hold your Hand and Kiss your Cheek by boredom (T)

A chance encounter with a young man leads Aziraphale on the path of healing and discovery. Maybe now he can finally admit to what he wants, without guilt and without fear. Maybe now he and Crowley can finally move forward, together.

Easier Than Air by A_Candle_For_Sherlock (G)

The world hasn't ended, and everything is fine. They're fine. It's terrifying. For once Aziraphale finds he's the one who can't leave well enough alone — who needs to talk about it.

Shell Shock by EdosianOrchids901 (T)

Not long after the church bombing, Crowley shows up on Aziraphale’s doorstep. He’s disoriented, on the verge of collapse, clearly in shock. Aziraphale isn't sure what happened, but he's determined to help. Can he?

Can You Feel The Love (Deep Down Inside) by AnonymousDandelion (G)

Aziraphale focused, trying to trace the unexpected strand of love to its source. And froze. “Crowley!” Aziraphale blurted out, aloud. The demon sprang awake and out of his dream with a startled gasp. And just like that, as Aziraphale hurried to soothe and apologize for having disturbed Crowley’s repose, the tendril was gone.

~ ~ ~

Aziraphale and Crowley have long since accepted that, for unknown reasons, Aziraphale's metaphysical love-sense can't pick up Crowley's feelings. Fortunately, it doesn't matter. Because they do love each other, they both know it, and they're content together.

So why has Aziraphale recently begun sensing something that feels very much like a filament of love coming from Crowley — reaching out of the blue, only to disappear the moment attention is called to it?

It's a mystery to them both. But whatever is going on, whatever realizations may lie in store, they have each other, they have their dog, and they have their love. They'll be all right.

(May be read alone or as part of the series. Features fluff, feels, very light mystery, very light angst, much supportiveness, lots and lots of love.)

A Dream Of Fire by entanglednow (T)

Sometimes the worst thing Hell makes Crowley do, is nothing at all.