#helap

Awkward question from a cis-hetero woman to trans folks...I'm happily cis but have always been a tomboy and am neurodivergent in all the ways, and apparently a trait that tends to align with neurodiversity in women is difficulty in performing femininity--like the superficial trappings: style and makeup, but also stuff like communication styles and body language, ect.--which lines right the heck up with my experiences. I pretty much never learned that stuff in adolescence, for various reasons, and now I'm in my thirties and, as I like to say, I don't know how to girl. Which is, as we all know, sliiiiiightly more allowable when you're a kid but not so much in the adult worlds of professional workplaces or dating, and while I'm fine with being the ways I am, the tough reality is that the world grants or withholds opportunities based on ability and willingness to meet other people's expectations, reasonable or not.

So the awkward thing I want to ask is how my trans femme ladies learned feminine body language specifically. I figure a lot of it is just a person’s inherent self being allowed to be expressed instead of tamped down but also I've seen older movies or TV shows where a trans character uses videos or DVDs specifically made for trans women to learn this stuff, and--this feels like the clueless thing to ask--is that even a thing anymore? If I were to go on YouTube, what would I search for? Right now I'm just getting these gag-inducing tradwife wannabes talking about how "God likes pretty girls and don't you want to honor your sacred femininity" blah blah bleeeech. Basically, I like my own tomboyish femininity plenty, but I need to learn body language in a more traditionally feminine way so I can mask my neurodivergence better.