You were embarrassed, big time, from both the incident of getting caught staring at him and that incident at the kitchen. Despite having embarrassment lingering over you once thinking about Heeseung or both incidents, you kinda hoped to see him around when you’re over at Jake’s place. With Jake or Jay’s presence of course, you can’t take any more humiliating scenarios with him. You didn’t. You didn’t see him around whenever you came to visit Jake, even bravely and stupidly tried forcing yourself to go downstairs and fetch yourself a glass of water and hoped you would at least encounter with him at the kitchen or when you’re heading back upstairs, but no. You also spared some time to glance at his door whenever you can and it was never opened like it was, only once it was slightly opened, with the same blue LED lights spilling out from the tiny gap of the door, but then that’s it.

“Quick question, Jake.” You said, in between your munching of the snack Jake kept on the drawer of his desk. Not turning his attention from his laptop to you, he only sounded a nod.

“I haven’t seen your brother around lately, where has he been?” addressing Heeseung as ‘your brother’ to Jake would be a safe option if you still don’t want to be exposed of already being introduced to him personally, and encountered two awkward interactions. Which of course, you still don’t want him to know.

“He just got a job,” answered Jake, leaning his back to the backrest of the chair with a long sigh, spoiling his muscles with a stretch after hours and hours of writing an essay he claimed he didn’t even understand even a bit, “and he’s kinda busy, I think.”

You then nodded out a response, looking out the window and not give any follow up questions to avoid a suspicion from Jake.

Out of sight, out of mind. You found a way to stop thinking about Heeseung and just go on with your life, thinking it would be such a waste to think and hoped for a guy who’s barely there. After waiting for a bit, going around to parties, and getting more acquaintances, you finally met someone. A tall, quiet guy you met at a party you attended with Jay. Poor Jay finally broke up with Yuna and needed something to ease himself, thus going to a party feels like a solution to him. While he was somewhere at the party, drinking and dancing like crazy, you were sat on the living room couch, with a couple making out wildly next to you. It doesn’t bother you though, as the blaring music and alcohol in your hand is an enjoyment to yourself. Next to the couch was a single sofa sat by a handsome guy who just sat there quietly while his gaze swept here and there across the living room. You weren’t sure what on earth gave you confidence back then (which obviously, alcohol), then you initiated a conversation with him. There you have it, a literature major student who goes to another college; Sunghoon, who became your boyfriend two months later.

It went smooth as a wind on the first few months through the relationship; gentleman Sunghoon, who would open doors for you, pull chairs for you, bring flowers, making poems relating how your beauty is endearing, equivalent to a moon and infinity stars with such sophisticated prose and meanings. He got you swooned. It also moved you how he was so passionate about literature and classical music. You thought beautiful men with beautiful mind like Sunghoon only existed in books, or movies, but here he was, right in front of you. In a blink of an eye, almost instantly, Sunghoon took your heart and spoiled you with such beautiful relationship you haven’t had in eternity. Or that’s what you thought.

It started from Hyeju. Her glare pierced to Sunghoon when you introduced him to your girls. You didn’t really budge as Hyeju hates everything and literally glares at everything. Then you started noticing her and Somi exchanging glances once every few minutes. Then as you expected: neither of them liked Sunghoon, and it’s only their first meeting. Your heart sank to your stomach once Gowon assertively delivered the information to you a few days afterwards. You just wanted your boyfriend and your girls to get along well… and sadly, Hyeju didn’t even think about giving a chance for Sunghoon to win her trust. You were in love, deep and mad, of course you were upset with Hyeju. Purposefully ignoring her texts and calls, and won’t come when the girls are hanging out together. You were blinded, too engrossed with the love and attention Sunghoon’s bombing towards you right now you didn’t even want to listen to those who provided happiness and safe place for you even before Sunghoon came to your life.

“Hyeju? I don’t like her anyways.” Sunghoon snickered lightly, running his attention back towards the TV. You were cuddled up against him, your head securely on his chest as you traced random patterns on his chest, while he does the same to your hips.

“Like I don’t understand… don’t they want me to be happy?” You said weakly, drowning back to the sadness caused by the fact that your best girlfriends weren’t supportive with your relationship. Not a single bit. Sunghoon leaned down to place a kiss on the crown of your head.

“It’s okay, love. What matters now is that we’re in love and we have each other.” You looked up to him, and seeing him also looking back at you. With a small smile on his angelic face, which also brings out a smile to you.

“I love you so much, and I will do anything to keep you safe.” Sunghoon whispered, running his thumb towards your cheek as you melted on his touch. Locking a deep eye contact with him, you just knew you had found love. Moving on to straddle to his lap, you caught his lips with a deep passionate kiss.

You were drowned. Drowned in love, drowned in him, you’d do anything for this man. You know it’s been only a few months with him, but you’ve made up your mind. You want him. You want him for your own. You want him for eternity. As Sunghoon lets out a breathy moan before deepening the kiss and hooked his finger to your waistband, you knew you will never change your mind. But again, or that’s what you thought.

ㅤ

It all bloomed so beautifully,

yet rots fast tragically.

ㅤ

Only in a count of months, everything has changed. The gentleman Sunghoon who you trusted with your heart is like a whole new person now. The nights where you would usually go to sleep with a smile and a fluttering heart after reading sweet, good-night texts from Sunghoon turned to tears, you sob yourself to dream land. Preparation of going out for a date or to a party which once filled with excitement now turns to worries as you would stare yourself to the mirror for eternity and think whether Sunghoon would be happy with the outfit you’re wearing, or the makeup you put on.

ㅤ

“Change it, it disgusts me how revealing it is.”

“I’m unrealistic? Or it’s just you who can’t understand me? Are you even my girlfriend?”

“Don’t make me laugh. All I do is love and protect you and now you’re bitching over some rules that clearly will keep you safe?”

“You don’t know how I’ve been through shits. Fucking shut up and bear with it.”

ㅤ

It is exhausting; the arguments, the tears, the clenching pain your chest, it’s unbearable. Though by the end of the day, Sunghoon would just make it up with a deep heated kiss, as well as a hug and words of apologies that brushes your pain and thoughts away, you didn’t realize it was temporary. Sunghoon would just be Sunghoon, it would just only be a cycle, but you just knew he was worth another chance every time he tried making it up.

Jake and Jay were obviously the rescuers amidst your tears and pain, since you were still too embarrassed to make a return to your high school girlfriends after distancing away from them (though still sometimes contacting Seeun). Both Jake and Jay weren’t familiar with Sunghoon, nor did they ever had the chance to meet him so far, but their reactions would probably be how your high school girlfriends would react. Multiple times did they tell you to just break up with him, and you only told them you’d consider this, which you never did. Still with the idea that Sunghoon would change, and he will always be worth of more and more chances.

If you were given the chance to describe your relationship with Sunghoon under five words, you would say: mood swing. Some days it was joyous, full of giggles and warmth, strolling down the streets hand in hand, sharing ice cream, cuddling on the couch, like new couples drunk in love. Then as you can guess, the others are full of yelling, arguments, tears, and any other things you can name that described relationship full of thorns. Given an example, you went out with Sunghoon to a carnival one night, and it ended with a kiss on top of the ferris wheel while fireworks blasted here and there. Then on the next night, Sunghoon made an awful comment on your outfit and called you hurtful names upon seeing you talking with another guy, who happened to just be Jungwoo, a friend of Jaehyun’s on a party you attended with Sunghoon.

You were practically bawling your eyes out, hugging yourself as you walked to the streets of midnight. His hurtful words commenting your outfit and the way you talked to Jungwoo resonates in your mind without an end. Walking away with tears would actually be a reaction brave enough to you, as you would usually just stand there, holding your tears and bear with Sunghoon every time he’s being unrealistic, now you just had the courage to walk away and leave the party early without him noticing. Your house is quite far away from where the party was, you could’ve just gone home but you needed a place. A place safe enough to shed tears and pour out worries, a place where you could recharge your energy, or just a place where you could stay for the night.

You pressed on the doorbell, feeling as numb as ever. The crying had stopped, but not for the aching pain on your chest that started feel numb as well, and the puffiness you could feel on certain areas of your face. Without looking at the mirror, you just knew you’re an absolute mess, but as if you’d care at this point. No point on still trying to make yourself look presentable when your night itself had been completely ruined thanks to Sunghoon being such a dick about things. Footsteps were heard approaching the door, then the door opened momentarily.

“Hey…” Heeseung whispered, upon seeing your post-crying state, “Are you okay?”

Out of all places, you decided to crash at Jake’s. It’s close to where the party is, you trusted Jake, and he’d be a shoulder to lean on. And upon seeing Heeseung opening the door, your heart is supposed to run seven laps, but not this time, it’s too numb to even help you feel anything but pain. You shook your head answering his question, keeping a straight expression, too tired to even pull out a smile.

“Come in.” Heeseung softly spoke, opening the door wider to give you access to step inside. You muttered out a thanks, coming inside as Heeseung shuts the door behind you. Leading you to the living room, you then sat down on the couch.

At least you’re on a place where you’re safe now, you swept away all worries left on you and just let the numbness engulfing you right now. Blankly staring at the wall, you let out a very slow and deep sigh. Heeseung, on the other hand, is still present on the living room. He then slowly bent down beside you, respectfully putting his hand on your arm. Should be something that made your heart feel like roller coaster, but not now, again.

“Can I get you something to drink?” gently Heeseung offered. You finally swept your gaze towards Heeseung, meeting his eyes. Another slow sigh you heaved, shaking your head, declining his offer.

“Can you fetch me Jake… please?” you slowly said, feeling your energy had depleted almost fully after having it all drained from crying while walking from the party. Heeseung then gave out a small smile, which you had never seen before.

Despite being tired, and not having your heart do somersaults knowing how close the gap between you and Heeseung is right now, your heart did move a little bit seeing his smile for the very first time, though a small one. Heeseung gave your arm a light tap, before standing up, and made his way upstairs.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” a familiar voice called not long. Turning around, you see Jake with a worried expression, joining you to sit on the couch. You don’t know why, but seeing your best friend or someone you just trusted while crying will only made you cry even worse. It is for you, as tired as you are for the cry and the walk, you burst out in tears once more in Jake’s arm for the night.

As expected, you started the morning with reading apology texts from Sunghoon, and noticing around thirty missed calls. He was sorry. He regrets it. He was ashamed of his own actions last night. That’s what he said.

“It’s just…” Sunghoon paused mid-sentence, “I’m afraid that other guys would lay a finger on you, knowing how revealing your outfit was last night.”

Your heart would soften if this happened a few fights ago. You believed Sunghoon. You believed that other guys would jump out of their respectful state and roam their hands on your body with that outfit. Then you remembered, having a small talk with Yuta, Jaehyun’s friend who you respect the most, not long ago about how he beat the shit out of someone who laid a finger on his girlfriend. Now that’s how you believe how Sunghoon should’ve handled the situation.

“Yeah…” You managed to answer with a raspy voice, the result of pulling an all-nighter… on crying. Lying to yourself should be an option now, saying you forgave Sunghoon and just let this all happen like it used to, while in secret you should have a talk to yourself about whether this would be a right thing to just stay with Sunghoon.

It’s actually a battle for yourself. You love Sunghoon, you really do. If this doesn’t sound weird, you even imagined moving in with Sunghoon once you’ve graduated from college and once you’ve found a job. Even imagining a life with Sunghoon, a life as a married couple, or even a life where Sunghoon and you worked together on raising kids together – starting a family. So letting him go would be the last choice you wanted to think about, but it hurts. Holding on to Sunghoon is like tightening a grip to a thorny rose, the harder you hold on to, the more damaged it gets. The more you think, the more it suffocates you, you even found yourself crying yourself to sleep every single night, which wasn’t an everyday routine for you even when Sunghoon had unveiled his toxic side. You found yourself hard to concentrate during classes, your individual projects don’t really have a great outcome like it used to. The thoughts do mess up your life.

“Hey.” The fine gentlemen greet upon your arrival to your usual hangout spot. You flashed out a small smile, “How are you, Heeseung?”

“Yeah, great…” Heeseung said, still leaning by the door frame. His eyes locked to yours, though you sensed it’s nothing like it used to when you locked an eye contact with him. His eyes usually radiate sharpness, an icy cold aura, which you wanted to get drowned in sometimes. Though you can’t help but notice his gaze slightly softened upon seeing your puffy eyes. Yeah, another night of crying, about the thoughts and consideration of leaving Sunghoon.

“Is Jake home yet?” you broke the silence as Heeseung snapped out of his thought, clearing his throat out of awkwardness.

“Uh, no… but he did tell me you’re coming over.” Opening the door wider, he then stepped aside to give you access of coming inside. Muttering a thanks, you then walked inside and headed straight to the stairs.

“Been crying again?” Heeseung’s voice stopped you mid-way. You took some time of silence, before finally deciding to turn around to see Heeseung, who already stood by the end of the stairs. It was silent, as you didn’t sound out an immediate response. Heeseung had his chin rested on his hand by the end of the railing, looking at you attentively.

It was embarrassing, how even your best friend’s brother knows about the shit you’re currently going through. Indeed it wasn’t the first time Heeseung saw you crying. He did a few times before; you coming over at midnight from the party and a few other times you came over and your eyes were puffy. Jake probably told him about this. Not that it’s a big deal, but you still find it kind of embarrassing.

“Ah… sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.” Heeseung added, judging how silent you were. It’s not. In fact, you appreciated that he’s concerned enough to ask you about it.

“Thanks for asking, I’m doing better now.” You flashed out a smile, then for the second time since you’ve known him, Heeseung softly smiled at you.

Jake and Jay the rescuers; you knew you needed someone to lean on during situations like this and they’re always there when you needed them. Helping you with good laughter, provided you great companies, and even yummy snacks while they’re at it. You’re enough turns to Come on, you deserve more than an ugly donkey, let him go! If Jake and Jay said that on your drunk-in-love state, you’d seriously go nuts. Now it’s good for the laughs, actually. You’ve now got a hold of yourself and started to get a taste of reality. It’s bitter, but that’s what it is.

You started distancing yourself from Sunghoon, though not obvious enough for him to notice. Saying you’re busy with projects whenever he wanted to meet up, not replying to his text as soon as possible like you used to, and stopped thinking about his positive sides that holds you back from breaking up with him. Sunghoon, on the other hand was also busy for a theater play project he’s starring in, so you do think he doesn’t really notice how you slowly distanced yourself away from him.

What do you know? It actually felt pretty good detaching yourself off him.

You started reconnecting with your girlfriends, even Hyeju cried when you finally came back. Hyeju doesn’t cry about things so you know it was something serious for her when you distanced yourself from them. You’ve never felt this good in months, finally having your eyes opened after a reality check. Sunghoon is bad. Sunghoon is toxic. Sunghoon is not good for your health. You should let him go. Immediately.

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ.           .           .

ㅤ

“I think we should break up.” You stated, finally able to meet up with Sunghoon amidst his busy schedules. Thinking it would be a casual coffee date, Sunghoon surely didn’t see this coming. At first he looked stunned, then as you guessed; he didn’t take this well.

Sunghoon snickered in disbelief hearing the words he thought he’d never hear coming out from your mouth. His gaze sharpened; he doesn’t seem really happy about it.

“All of sudden? When I’m in the middle of a huge project? When I’m in need of fucking support?” Sunghoon said through his gritted teeth. Yup, he’s mad, and using his anger to intimidate you. That doesn’t work this time like it used to. Thankfully distancing and listening to your friends shitting on him from a few weeks prior, you should be able to handle this situation perfectly.

“I’m tired of the fights and stuffs...” You replied out. Another sarcastic snicker from Sunghoon, “By never communicating that you’re tired of the ‘fights and stuffs’?”

You stayed silent; your mouth was shut, result from being the back down on arguments whenever Sunghoon started raising his voice. You have to resist this time, or else you won’t be able to free yourself from him, and letting him claim another win like he always did.

“Sunghoon.” You sighed, straightening your sitting position. Gathering all the courage you had to look at Sunghoon on the eyes, he still had a glare on his face. Though you can’t help but feel your heart beating fast in nervousness and fear – this gaze of Sunghoon scares you the most.

“I’ve communicated things to you, every single time,” you managed to say without making your shaky breath sound audible, “but you always turned everything around. It’s always my fault, you’re mad because you wanted to protect me. No, you just love being in control for anything, even for my life.”

“Controlling you? When did—”

“Almost every single time.” You sternly said, not even giving him space to manipulate the fact that he didn’t do that. He did, almost fully throughout the relationship, you’re so done with it.

“When I talked to Jungwoo and you called me a slut. That’s the cherry on top, Sunghoon.” It’s truly a hurtful memory to you, moreover, not expecting such word would come out from someone you truly loved, but it should be disclosed. Sunghoon heaved out a sigh in defeat, throwing his gaze elsewhere.

“After everything we’ve done? After everything we’ve been through?” Sunghoon said once he threw his gaze back to you. Pain and betrayal filled his eyes. If you aren’t aware of him trying to manipulate you right now, you might have fall for this.

“I know everything about you, (Name).”

“I know what you like.” His hand reach to yours from across the table, his thumb brushing on your hand warm and soft, just how you like it.

“I know what you hate.” Sunghoon’s voice soothed more and more, you always loved his voice.

ㅤ

“And foremost important…” a kiss on your hand Sunghoon placed, while his eyes shine misery and desperation.

“I know how to make you feel good.”

ㅤ

You let your eyes shut, as your lips quivered with a shaky sigh. For a moment Sunghoon thought you had it, and he had won yet another fight. He thought so.

ㅤ

ㅤ

 No

ㅤ

ㅤ

You pulled your hand away from Sunghoon, while the sudden response did leave Sunghoon look shocked. A moment of silence then wrapped. Neither of you nor Sunghoon tried breaking it, as you don’t have anything else to say. Looking at him, his now empty sorrowful gaze was on you, you also could notice tears started forming on his eyes. You don’t want to make this hard for you, and think it’s just him that should deal with himself from now on. Standing up, without saying a word you then started walking away. Not so fast though.

ㅤ

“Please,” Sunghoon held you by your wrist.

“One more chance… That’s all I ask.”

ㅤ

Turning around, you see tears escaping his eyes, running down his cheeks. On god this would be the first time of the relationship that you’ve seen Sunghoon cry. It should hurt you, if you still love him, you tried not to though. Sunghoon started sobbing softly, and you almost got drowned back to him, you resisted.

Pulling your wrist away from him, you gave out once last forced out bitter smile, “I can’t.”

Walking away from him, you just hoped Sunghoon doesn’t turn into a psycho and chased you over. It most likely shouldn’t happen when you broke up with him in the middle of a public place where people are walking here and there, he shouldn’t act up. Plus someone’s on the watch, making sure you are safe and sound from the distance. You reached out to the familiar car that parked on one of the parking spots as you went in the back seat.

“All done?” Jay said once you closed the door. You heaved out a sigh, as well as a smile, “Yeah… I feel good now.”

A victory cheer did Jake and Jay made, you can’t help but smile at their acts of celebration once you stated that you’re finally free from the chain and toxicity that bounds you in for the past few months. Jake had been watching too many true crime videos lately, and thought he and Jay, or at least someone SHOULD be on the watch when he heard that you’re breaking up with Sunghoon for good. Though at first you thought that would be bullshit and overreacting, you shouldn’t take any chance. You felt so good right now, you can’t wait to tell your girlfriends.

“Now there’s only one thing left to do.” Jake said, looking over his shoulder to look at you, Jay too. You raised an eyebrow in confusion. You do believe you didn’t plan for anything else today with them though. Jake signaled for you to look at something under the seat. A red bag was there, but you have no clue what it is. Reaching your arm to open the bag, you can’t help but to hear clinking sounds of bottles once you made even the slightest move on the bag. Looking back at Jake, he had the most mischievous smile he had on his face.

ㅤ

“Someone deserves a celebration, don’t they?”

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ.           .           .

ㅤ

You believed you were the person who should be celebrating after freeing yourself from a suffocating relationship, yet Jay and Jake were the ones heavily wasted at Jake’s bedroom now. Parents are out of town, and that’s why Jake think it’s a good idea to drink his soul out for alcohols and enjoy all the time while he can. You’re honestly not in the mood for drinking and get yourself fly up to the clouds, but of course still appreciating Jake and Jay for throwing out a mini celebration by just drinking a couple of glasses while Jake and Jay almost finished a whole bottle themselves.

“Let me tell youuuuuuuuuu.” Jay slurred, after taking another sip of the night, pointing his finger at Jake, losing his sense of control as his finger swayed here and there.

“Date someoneeeeeeeee who—” Jay hiccupped mid-sentence, fishing out a laugh from you, “Whooo is notttt demandinggg and insecure… Right, (Name)?” Jay said clumsily throws an arm around your shoulder.

“Right where you are!” You replied gleefully, pointing your finger at Jake, knowing Jay had just given a piece of advice towards Jake. Jake, threw his middle finger to the air, “Fuckkkkk thatttttt.”

A couple of sips more you chugged on, before deciding to call the drinking a day, wouldn’t want to trip over to danger on a drunken state whilst returning back home alone at night. Jake on the other hand had a little bit too much on the drink, hence had to be escorted to the bathroom and throw up. Lucky you’re sober enough to help him, though stumbling once and twice thanks to not being fully sober and had to help Jake on your own while Jay had already fallen asleep leaning to Jake’s bedroom wall after having a massive breakdown remembering his first love Lily. Currently floating on the bad side, you pity Jay’s love life so much for now. Breaking up with Yuna; he then discovered Lily is now in a relationship with someone new. Well, nothing lasts forever, including heartbreak, enjoy it while he can maybe.

“You’re sooooooooooo kind.” Jake sniffed as you escorted him back to his room. You chuckled, as Jake tucked himself in his blanket.

“You deserve…” Jake said weakly, sighing after finding a perfect position for him under the blanket, “So many good things in life…”

Your heart warmed upon hearing such assuring words coming out of your best friend’s mouth. It’s actually a common thing for Jake to give out affirmation words, even when he’s sober. You were touched to know even he can still be this sweet when he’s drunk. So glad you initiated a conversation with him back then on the drug seminar and kept trying to make him open up to you as a friend. Probably wouldn’t find a friend like Jake in another 1000 year if you stayed silent during the seminar back then.

“I think…” Jake closed his eyes, his voice growing weaker and weaker, probably due to the dizziness engulfing his head right now, “I’m going to sleep…”

You gave Jake’s head a few pats, before then realizing he had fallen asleep quickly and totally. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Jay still leaning by the wall too, asleep. Well, it was always a good time with them, you should get going as you noticed it’s getting closer to your curfew. Jake and Jay would probably still be asleep even if a firework burst in the room, but you tiptoed your way out; minimizing as little sound as possible.

As usual, silence greets you whenever you walked out of Jake’s room. Out of town parents, one kid’s studying abroad, one more’s heavily drunk out in his room with his friend, the house was empty and dead silent, so silent you wouldn’t be surprised if the bogeyman suddenly came out of nowhere to scare you. You walked towards the stairs, stopping for a moment to look at Heeseung’s bedroom door. Closed, and dark. You can’t even see a glimpse of the blue LED light that shines from his room as usual. He’s probably out, or busy with work as Jake said. Well, you’re single now, but maybe no point on putting hopes to Heeseung too. Heaving out a sigh, you turned back to the stairs and almost had a heart attack upon seeing something. Thinking the house was empty, you weren’t aware of the figure that stands down the stairs; Heeseung with his eyes closed, leaning against the wall, he placed his left foot on the first step, but didn’t budge to climb the stairs and just stood there, with his eyes closed and body leaning against the wall.

“Heeseung?” You bent down, as Heeseung’s eyes shot open upon hearing your voice. His eyes lidded half, lightly smirking towards you before leaning back to the wall and closes his eyes once more, “’Sup.”

Like older brother, like younger brother. You can guess Heeseung’s drunk right now, judging how staggered he looks and acts. He’s usually cold, or kind of caring, so him pulling out such smug expression seems not-to-Heeseung at all, he must be out of his mind. You skipped down the stairs to his side, checking to see if he’s okay. He did reek the smell of alcohol and cigarette, and by this state you’re witnessing right now, there’s no way he’s sober.

“Are you drunk?” carefully you asked, placing a hand gently on his shoulder. Heeseung only nodded, not opening his eyes nor detaching himself from leaning against the wall.

“You need some help?” You asked, considering how it could be dangerous for a drunk person to climb the stairs on their own, Heeseung could stumble, or even fall backwards. He chuckled lightly, swatting his hands to the air gently.

“Nonsense…” Heeseung muttered out, “I’m fine on my own.”

Heeseung then stood up straight, before slowly taking some steps forward climbing the stairs. You feel like you should be on the watch, as it kinda scares you of how Heeseung’s body slightly swayed under the influence of alcohol. Heeseung cursed under his breath after stumbling on a step, falling forward in one knee. In reflex, you then walked up the stairs to Heeseung’s aid. His breath was ragged, followed by a string of his light chuckles. To be honest, you do find his laugh cute, and him in general, but best for you to help him first instead of adoring him.

“You okay there?” You asked, bending down to drape his left arm around your shoulder. Heeseung whines slightly, not even giving you a proper response or even answering your question. Doesn’t matter though, gotta help him to his room.

He’s heavy, you got to admit. Jake’s more tolerable earlier as he still contributed energy on holding his own steps while you only helped him for his balance. It seems like Heeseung doesn’t even try fully and just rely on you on climbing the stairs. Falling down your knees on exhaustion, you sat on one of the steps, Heeseung too. You should be aware that you aren’t even fully sober yourself and you shouldn’t question yourself why you can’t help Heeseung walk up the stairs. While catching your breath, you turned to look at Heeseung who was sitting next to you. Heart almost jumped out of your chest in surprise, Heesung’s face was close to yours, dangerously close. Your shoulders sticking against each other’s, face inches apart, you can practically feel his breath on you. Damn, he looks even better up close. As it was on your encounter with him at the kitchen that night, everything felt so hot of all sudden. The temperature on your body rising, your cheeks heated up, the tension was thick, Heeseung is hot. God knows what might happen next?

“You’re so pretty…” Heeseung confessed with a whisper. Your heart’s been running seven laps ever since you turned to look at him and see he’s basically inches away from your face. Now all you could do is blink your eyes and contain yourself from showing any form of excitement – is this even real?

Heeseung inches his face towards yours, the gap getting closer and closer. The last things you could notice were how you’re gripping on your sweater sleeve and Heeseung’s hot breath closer to your face before he sealed your lips with a kiss. Excitement and shock reached your head, you can’t think straight. Your best friend’s brother, who you found blazing hot since you first met is now kissing you on the staircase of his house. A thing you never knew would actually come true, let alone thinking about it. Heeseung moved his lips passionately against yours, as your brain had started moving once more after being halted by the shock dominating your system. Moving your lips too against his, you can also taste alcohol and a hint of sweetness from him.

“Oh shit,” Heeseung pulled away, still with a whisper. You looked at him, quite disappointed on the sudden stop of the kiss, and how he pulled away. Heeseung ruffled his hair before heaving out a sigh, burying his face to his palms. Oh no… what went wrong?

“You have a boyfriend,” said Heeseung. Looking at you, still with a half-lidded eyes yet a somehow disappointed and guilty face. Pressing his hands on his knees, he prepared on standing up, “I’m sorry…” little did he know.

Not giving him a chance to stand up, you pulled him by his denim jacket collar, inching his face closer to his as it was a few moments ago. Heeseung’s eyes widened in surprise. The completely sober you tomorrow would most likely be shocked too upon remembering you doing this to Heeseung. Thank god you had some drinks earlier, or else you won’t be intoxicated and have this kind of courage to do this to Heeseung. THE fine gentleman who can’t leave your mind.

“I’ve broken up.” You confessed. Heeseung’s shocked face melted down, as a smirk you saw moments ago made its return. Wasting no time, Heeseung planted his lips back to yours. Praying Jake nor Jay woke up from their slumber and stumbled onto a drunk kissing people by the stairs. You should be enjoying the moment right now.

“Fucking finally.” Heeseung whispered in the middle of the kiss. His thumb stroked your cheek softly. Despite the sudden courage that moved you to do that, you were still quite stunned; playing as the passive kisser, moving your lips only once in a while and let Heeseung do most of the work.

“I…” Heeseung parted the kiss, catching his breath, so do you. His hands cupped your cheek as he rested his forehead to yours.

“I swear… I can be a better boyfriend than him.” He said amidst his strings of panting. His voice sounds out somehow desperation, yet somehow he sounds so sure about it too.

“I’m going to treat you like a queen you are.” Heeseung whispered, his thumb brushed back to your cheek.

“I’m going to respect you.” You got a hold of his wrist, as he proceeded with the things he wanted to confess, probably going all out while he’s all under the influence of alcohol.

ㅤ

“And most importantly,”

“I’ll make sure neither of us get hurt.”

ㅤ

Heeseung’s head fell to your shoulder. He’ll surely fall asleep on you by the stairs if you don’t push him to proceed on the stairs now.

“C’mon, time for you to go to bed.” You said, patting on his head and helped him stand up. He’s way more cooperative this time, only relying on you for balance. Not too long for you to finally reach his room and bring him to his bed. Falling on the bed sideways, Heeseung immediately shuts his eyes. The last thing you could do know is help him out of his shoes. While untying his sneakers off his feet, you could hear Heeseung mumbling inaudible words, before finally understanding actual words he’s confessing afterwards;

“I’m… repeating myself…” Heeseung breathed, as you looked up to see him, his eye still closed, his hand flew to his head, probably having a massive headache too like Jake. He then proceeds on his words, “I can be… a better boyfriend than him.”

You smiled hearing his words, tidying his sneakers under his bed before lifting his legs up to the bed. Covering his body with a blanket, you knew he probably means that, but the answer shall wait. Aside of needing some time alone after a breakup, you do believe this is a topic that should be discussed when both parties are fully sober.

“We’ll have this conversation when you’re sober, Heeseung.” You gave his head some gentle pats. Heeseung didn’t heave out any response, probably already asleep once finding comfort when his body hits the bed. Another smile curved on your lips before turning around to make an exit out of his room.

ㅤ

“I know I’m drunk… but I’m dead serious.”

ㅤ

You turned around to look at him by the doorframe, still smiling of the situation. How cute he looks right now, the fact that he basically devoured your lips by the stairs, and how all this happened so dynamic yet progressively long.

“I’ll come back for you tomorrow, Heeseung.” was the last thing you said before gently closing his bedroom door and made your way downstairs and outside the house.

ㅤ

You do have some things to do tomorrow,

On the first few months, of course it felt like heaven to you; only learning things you wanted to learn, free from all the curfews your parents made throughout high school so that you’d at least have some sense of control for time, et cetera. All those months was well spent to say, staying out up to late nights, either it was just studying or hanging out with friends.

When they say nothing ever lasts forever, it’s true, and you resent how the happy moment only last up to a really short span of time. Cliques have started forming, and people’s true color started showing one by one. You thought the most childish people were the ones you met during high school, but boy were you wrong. People sitting down on the classroom, the ones you shared with, are the true definition of only maturing by age, yet mentally left on their pre-teens. Not a day without new dramas, or problematic natures did they showed. And of course, not wanting to be involved in any of it nor having your energy sucked up by the attention seeking vampires, you’d rather distance yourself away from them, and just be study buddies with them by max.

Another few months you spent alone, without any friends to hang with outside task and assignment requirements. It doesn’t bother you much, as a person who loves both the crowd and being alone. It then became a daily routine for you; walking to campus alone, sitting down in class with random distant friends who you interact on class or for assignment purpose only, then eating lunch either alone or with them (which you would only sit down and listen to them blabber, or giving minimum responses so that it won’t look obvious that you’re distancing yourself), then going home alone. If you’re lucky enough, you’d encounter with Jay, one of your best friends during high school that went to the same college as you, but taking different majors therefore only interacting a lot via text messages. It was going well so far, grades are okay, being alone is okay, unintentionally gaining the ‘quiet friend’ tag for being so quite by some distant friends that happen to like you. Though it’s not like you’re ACTUALLY quite, you’re minimizing interactions so that they won’t know shits about you, but you’d know shits about them.

“Hey, can I sit here?” you questioned to a guy on the auditorium, knowing well there’s not much of seats left and you’d have to pluck up the courage and to ask if any seat’s vacant to people you don’t know. The guy was stunned for a second, before he groggily nodded and took his green backpack from the seat you’d be occupying. Muttering a thanks, you then sat.

You had never seen this guy before. Of course, he probably doesn’t go to your major. He attentively paid attention to the seminar speaker on the stage, who was blabbering shits about how drugs can kill you. They can, if you’re overusing them. Back to the guy, he had jet black hair, wearing an oversized sweatshirt and a grey ripped jeans as well as a dirtied out white converse. With that huge innocent looking eyes, he’s quite cute though. You surely want to take your eyes off him though, as some said; staring is rude.

10 minutes… 30 minutes… 45 minutes to the seminar. You internally groaned, after realizing that you won’t be hopping out of the auditorium for the next hour. It had been boring, even after only 10 minutes of sitting down and listening to the person, who may seem to be a professor, chanting about the danger of drugs. Same old shit, you’ve been getting that kind of warning since middle school, and seminars should really be something more interesting.

“Bullshit, don’t you think?” you whispered to the guy next to you, who gave his seat to you as he looked quite shocked to hear you suddenly talking to him. He then turned to you, avoiding eye contact as he did seem really nervous.

“W-why would you think so?” he whispered back, chuckling nervously. His nervous reaction baited a chuckle from you too.

“I mean…” you slightly tilted your body to his direction, not wanting to make your conversation audible enough for other people to hear, “Drugs are dangerous… IF we overuse it.”

The boy paused for a moment, still not making an eye contact with you as the words you just declared flow inside his mind, letting his brain to process.

“Have you… tried using drugs?” he whispered back, finally making an eye contact with you, a hint of nervousness in his voice now gone by the wind. You chuckled at his innocent intonation, “By far… weed. Not planning to go anything more serious, though.”

“Have you?” you fired back. He lets out another nervous chuckle before shaking his head, “Nah, by far only cigarettes, not planning to go anything more serious, though.” You let out a snicker, of how he imitates your word perfectly.

“I’m Jake, what’s your name?”

“(Name), nice to meet you.” you then reached out to shake his hand.

And from that, you discovered yourself a new best friend; Jake. A really studious Psychology major student who thinks how human brain works according to Psychology is really interesting and mysterious therefore decided to study about it. He’s also a really introverted Scorpio who claimed to only have few to no friends due to him being so closed off and prefers when people reach out to him first instead of him reaching out to people, and boy were you glad you said the seminar was bullshit or else you’d find an awesome new best friend who shares the same frequency as you do in the next 1000 years.

It didn’t take long for Jake to open up and be fully comfortable in your company, though it’s not a short time as well. Once he did open up, it is then discovered that he’s actually really kind, and caring, also ambitious in his study. Also had a pet dog named Layla. It didn’t take long for you to realize that Jake and Jay would definitely be good friends like how you are with the both of them. Then decided to introduce Jake to Jay, hoping they would at least get along well. As expected, Jake acted the most awkward out of the awkwardness on the first few meetings, as Jay was a completely new person to him and like he was when he first met you, he had to just slowly loosen up.

One month turns to three, three months turn to five, so goes on, and the next thing you knew was Jake spilling secrets and teas to you AND Jay, which would be an obvious thing to realize that Jake had finally loosen up to Jay. How delighting it is for you to know that your plan of getting Jake and Jay sticking to each other had been executed perfectly. Outside college needs, you would always hang out with both Jake and Jay. Wherever there’s you, there’s Jake and Jay. Wherever there’s Jake, there’s Jay and you. Wherever there’s Jay, there’s you and Jake. And it just goes like that. It’s finally nice to have people whom you connect well with after a long time of college. ㅤ

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ.           .           .

ㅤ

“Grabbing some coffee on the way there, you want some?” Jay spoke through the loudspeaker as you fixed the straps of your overall and made sure it looks just nice on you.

“Yeah, maybe something vanilla or caramel flavored.” You answered, making your way towards the vanity table where your phone sat.

“Alright, cool. See you later.” Jay said, then closing off the phone call, you ended with a bye before ending the phone call.

Apparently, your only class was cancelled today, and that left you schedule-less throughout the day. It is a good day outside, with a good weather and a good mood, reaching out to your high school girlfriends and asked if they can hang out. Starting from Gowon, Hyeju, Seeun, and even the (usually) most available one, Somi; none of them were available. Well then maybe next time, but for the time being, why not reaching out to Jay and Jake and ask if they can hang out?

It seemed like the universe aligns with your intention and mood for today, as Jake and Jay are both available to hang out. Jake then suggested for Jay and you to just come over to his house and just hang out. Why not? His house isn’t placed on the end of the world anyways, and is reachable with a one bus ride.

One and a half hour away from the appointment, you decided to stuff your stomach before going out, as you remembered you had an uneaten sandwich on the fridge, while watching the unwatched episodes of the third season of American Horror Story. Parents are away for work, that’s why the house was completely empty when you went out of your room and skipped downstairs. Or at least that’s what you thought.

“Going somewhere?” a voice called from the couch.

Sticking with the idea of being home alone since a few hours ago, of course it surprised you, too much. You even flinched and felt your heartbeat increasing rapidly. Whipping your head to the couch, you then saw Jaehyun, one of a few people you really don’t want to see at any time. You internally rolled your eyes, you hated him to the guts. You hated him so much you’d rather see that voice coming from a burglar rather than him.

“Oh you’re back.” you said, bitterly, walking towards the fridge to retrieve the sandwich. Jaehyun snickered upon hearing how shallow and brief your answer was.

Your dad remarried around four years ago. His marriage with his new wife brought an older step-sibling to the house, Jaehyun who is a few years older than you. Nothing’s wrong with Taehee, your dad’s new wife. She’s sweet, and immediately erased all the horrific step-mother stereotypes from your head. She baked you good cookies, helped you prepare yourself on school day mornings during high school, spent some time with you, and yeah, she’s just a good person in general.

Taehee wasn’t a problem for you, but Jaehyun was. On god, he would probably be the cockiest man you’ve ever seen in your life. He would bring three different girls on different nights in a span of one week, thinks he’s super handsome and can just do anything he wants, would come home reeking of alcohol or marijuana, and even would sometimes throw up by the stairs. You’re quite surprised on how Taehee is so good on keeping her patience level below from exploding. You just knew this fucker for around four years and wanted to murder him the first thing you do if The Purge is something real. Not only that, but he would also sometimes bring his friends over and some of them would just lust their eyes over you and tried getting to your pants or something. The one named Yuta was the most respectful, and that’s why you only enjoy talking to him and even had his phone number saved.

Then Jaehyun got accepted on a university a town away. Of course, a good news for you. You wouldn’t have to deal with this jackass as he would be living his dirty ass in the campus dorm, which surely would lead him to even more freedom, but as if you cared. Knowing he would be away and you wouldn’t have to see his nose every single day is surely a kind of news you had been longing to hear. No more dealing with his musty existence, reek of alcohol and vomit, also his asshole friends.

“Why? As if you’re not happy I’m back or something.” Jaehyun snarkily said, laughing it off, obviously positioning yourself as the rude sibling here.  

You rolled your eyes, placing the ham and cheese sandwich inside the microwave, “You stated that yourself, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun chuckled in satisfaction, turning his attention to turn the TV on. He knew well you disliked him, without making it obvious, he can really see it in your eyes, how you would (unintentionally) throw a glare at him, or roll your eyes whenever he made any stupid remarks.

“You still haven’t answered my question.” Jaehyun continued, not even getting his eyes off the TV as the microwave dinged. Well the truth is, you weren’t going anywhere, not until 1 p.m, but since he just had to show his ass out of nowhere, the plan of binge-watching American Horror Story while enjoying a warmly heated ham and cheese sandwich just had to be cancelled. You’re not spending any minute under the same roof with this donkey.

“Going to Jake’s place.” You answered shortly, taking your sandwich out of the microwave and took a bottle of orange juice out of the fridge to go. Jaehyun turned his attention to you, with a surprised yet a somehow a wide (stupid) smile on his face, “What? You got a boyfriend now?”

“C’mon, are you always that shallow?” you replied, full of annoyance before dragging your feet upstairs to take some of your belongings and just go. Jaehyun seemed to be on his nosey mood today, he arose from the couch and followed your steps upstairs, along with a string of mocking hollers.

“Didn’t know you can actually bag someone. Who is he? Has big dick?” Jaehyun should be thankful you’re not in the most irritative mood today, as you surely would just jump to him and beat his ass to unconsciousness if you are.

“I don’t fuck everyone like you, Jaehyun. Now shut up.” Jaehyun hollered out, laughing out loud as he leaned to the doorframe of your room.

“A man and a woman cannot just be friends, c’mon… Are you hiding it from your brother?” You, feeling your anger boiling up even more, then decided to just not give him the response that he wanted; annoyance. Jake once told you about this, to make someone step down from whatever their intention was, just give them an opposite reaction of what they’re expecting for. As an example, you encountering a nitwit who bothers the shit out of you and wanted you to just burst out in annoyance and punch him to death, then all you should do is just stay silent and he’ll surely step down.

Surely Jaehyun wouldn’t step down that fast, as he’s still in his series of hollering and annoying ass questions regarding how far Jake and you have gone, which base have you and Jake reached and stuff. Zero, he’s your best friend, and that’s final. You covered your ears with a headphone before clicking out to a random song that would drown Jaehyun’s voice to the point where you can’t hear him anymore. You walked past him, and he’s literally still tailing over you and throwing the same questions he had been throwing for the past few minutes. To the point where you reached the door, you gave him one last glare before walking outside and closed the door right in front of his nose.

You would probably need to have a conversation with Taehee regarding how her son’s behavior bothers you a lot.

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ.           .           .

ㅤ

You sighed, once realizing Jake didn’t pick up your fourth call. You do believe this is the right house from the address that Jake had sent to you and Jay. The neighborhood was ridiculously quite, so does this house. I mean, you are around half an hour early from the appointment, but that’s not the reason why everything here is so quiet. You looked over your shoulder, for maybe the fifth time since you arrived here in paranoia. Suddenly all horror images you’ve seen on television popped in your mind and your mind was scaring the life out of you even you told yourself not to. Imagining how creatures like Pennywise, or Freddy Krueger, even Jason Voorhees would just jump out of the bushes and annihilate your existence. Pressing the doorbell would lead to a probability that the one answering the door would be someone else than Jake, probably his family or relative, and you had to talk to strangers again, but given the situation where it’s like a fucking horror movie outside of his house, you decided to not spend any more second out here.

You let your finger pressed on the doorbell as it resulted an audible ring from the inside of the house. Not long, you can clearly hear heavy footsteps approaching the door, hoping it would be Jake answering the door… which wasn’t when the door opened, but your heart did drop a bit though. There stood a tall guy, with jet black hair similar to Jake’s, messily un-styled. You can judge he probably had just waken up from a slumber with that oversized white shirt and tartan pyjama pants. With those cold and sharp eyes of his, you really do hope it was his day-by-day way of staring at people and not the pissed-out ones for being waken up by the sound of the doorbell.

“Uh… hi, I’m here for Jake.” You awkwardly greeted, holding on the strap of your tote bag and lowered your headphone to your neck. The guy looked over his shoulder to the stairs and stood silent for a couple of seconds, which almost led you to a misunderstanding that you got the wrong house or something, but immediately was relieved when he opened the door wider.

“Yeah, come in.” his raspy voice said, welcoming you inside.

“Second door on the right side of the stairs.” He continued once you’re inside, before closing the door. You flashed out a smile to him, before saying thank you and quickly made your way upstairs. Well, damn. Didn’t expect to come over to Jake’s place to see someone looking like a three-course meal.

Just as you guessed, Jake was busy gaming when you entered the room, with his headphones on, drowning in his very own world. Very much drowned he didn’t even hear you knocking thrice and walked inside his room, was dramatically surprised too when you pressed both your hands to his shoulders after losing a round of a game.

Half an hour later, Jay then arrived, on time. Frankly you were quite surprised to see Jay’s positive character development from high school. The heedless boy doesn’t care about anything but sleep and his friends, and that includes his lack of interest and attention towards time management; often found in detention for walking to class late or not coming at all. And now, if it’s 1 p.m, then 1 p.m it is for Jay. How amazing.

The day then went on. Nothing too special, but still enjoyable at the very least. Just hanging around at Jake’s room, conversing random to meaningful topics, playing board games, listening to Jake and Jay talking about topics you didn’t even care to listen to at first, and even film random Tik Tok videos. It went on until you didn’t realize a couple of hours had skipped past you, and the sky’s no longer blue like it was when you stepped inside. Was planning to stick around for a couple more hours until your phone buzzed.

ㅤ

ㅤ

You busy, dear? We’re going out for dinner since Jaehyun’s here on his break.

He told me you’re over at your friend’s house.

Your dad and I got off work early, want us to pick you up?

Send the address :)

ㅤ

ㅤ

It is something you can decline, actually. Knowing it would be a bummer to have Jaehyun around, and you just had dinner with Taehee a few days ago, also knowing she’d be super respectful with your decision if you said no, but it’s Taehee here with her offer, you can’t decline that, not when she’s an absolute angel. Mentally sighing, you’d just have to deal with Jaehyun for a couple of hours and days before he makes his return back to his campus. As long as Taehee and your dad are on the watch, he usually behaved himself more.

You bid goodbye to both of your best friends before going out of Jake’s room. You slowly walked towards the stairs, as you noticed the house was incredibly silent like the whole neighborhood itself, you can probably hear if a needle drops, so best minimize any sound. You also noticed something by the stairs that you didn’t notice on your arrival earlier; a family portrait. A middle-aged looking couple sat down, smiling towards the camera as you can easily guess that would be Jake’s parents. Never met them before, but you can guess they’re good people. Then two guys and a girl standing behind the parents; a smiling Jake and a girl with Tomie bangs who you can also easily guess was Jayoon, Jake’s younger sister who Jake told is studying abroad. Also one guy standing next to Jake, with a really thin smile, then -you also guessed he probably doesn’t like smiling that much. One thing you realized from the thinly smiling guy standing next to Jake on the portrait; he’s the fine gentleman that answered the door for you earlier; he must be Jake’s older brother. Such a gene that ran to the three siblings.

Your eyes then caught the door on the left side of the stairs. A door slightly open as a blue light spilled out from the gap of the door, possibly from an LED light. You know you probably shouldn’t feed your curiosity by giving the room a peek from afar. Aside of impolite, you don’t know if there’s someone there. You just can’t help it. You can’t take your eyes off the room. Lit with a beautiful dark blue color from an LED light attached around the top side of the walls as you can faintly hear the sound of Cigarettes After Sex playing slowly. Aside of that, something beautiful captured by your visions; Jake’s brother. Sitting down on the floor by his bed, his back rested against the bed, and his head rests on the bed as well. Smoke blowing from his mouth as he had both his eyes closed, probably drowning on the taste of whatever that is he’s smoking, and the psychedelic feeling made from both the lighting and the sound.

ㅤ

He’s fucking hot.

He took another puff, also another blow of smoke from his mouth.

ㅤ

He’s unreal.

You can’t take your eyes off him.

ㅤ

A fucking work of art.

He’s still the same as this afternoon when you saw him. Still with that oversized t-shirt and tartan pyjama pants, and a messed out dark hair, which of course, is one of the main aspects of his blazing hot aura. Once in a while, he wiggled his straightened right leg, inaudibly humming the lyrics of Sunsetz. He took another puff, now opening his eyes and suddenly looked towards the door, towards your direction. Oh shit. From the distance, your eyes locked, and also at the very same time, blowing out smoke, as it ran freely to the air, dissolving through it. He’s so hot you can fall on your knees right here, right now. You’re shocked, and frightened at the same time. He saw you standing there, holding the railings of the stairs, but had you facing to his room, and just standing there looking at him. Shocked of his sudden movement, frightened that he’d probably think you’re a creep.

The embarrassment felt down to the bone, that you were caught staring. Cat got your tongue, but not your muscles and brain. You know it would be even more embarrassing if you froze there, locking eye contact with Jake’s ridiculously hot brother who you stared at for nearly a solid five minute. Flashing out a small awkward smile, you hurried your steps downstairs, and out of Jake’s house. You hope this would be your first and last time encountering with him.

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ.           .           .

ㅤ

Then your hope kinda came to reality, though temporarily. The frequency of you and Jay going over to Jake’s then grew more and more often. Aside of being a huge introvert who doesn’t prefer crowded places, Jake also love having you and Jay over. It would at least be a two to three times every week of you and Jay, or you only coming over just to hang out, talk, listen to music. Your hope did come to reality, as for a month or so, no sight of Jake’s brother was seen, after that awkward encounter. It really did embarrass you whenever the memory recalled back to your head, how you awkwardly stood by the stairs, lingering your attention on the hot stuff smoking in his room, which then you get busted a few minutes afterwards and there you go, stuck with an embarrassment for a whole month.

“We should go again sometimes, Jake. You enjoyed the party, right?” You said, resting your back on the bed as Jake was lying down on the bed, behind you, too drunk to even sound out a respond other than a hum.

It was a one out of a thousand chance that Jake finally agreed to tag along to a party with you and Jay. After around three times insisting him to go, Jake finally sighed in defeat before agreeing to go, which of course caught Jay and you in a wave of surprise, and joy of course. You don’t actually know the party host, as Jay was the one being invited and asked you, then Jake to tag along. A business major girl if you’re not mistaken, pretty popular and really hot, not sure whether she’s on your league of being a friend, and also confused where Jay got an invitation from, but well at least he can get you and Jake in.

Then the party goes like usual, unless you had to ‘babysit’ a very closed off friend and introduce him around to your acquaintances. Not that you’re complaining of course as you’d be happy to be a part of Jake’s journey of being more sociable and brave. Jake was all smiling and shyly introduced himself when you showed him around, but quickly switched up when he saw a table full of liquors. You didn’t know this side of Jake who’s quite ‘feral’ upon seeing alcohol as he started drinking and dancing around once the alcohol entered his blood stream and intoxicated him. You just let him be and talked with Suhyeon, Jay’s friend on the engineering major. Suhyeon was a really gleeful and fun person to talk to as you and her talked for hours which only seemed like minutes until an upset looking Jay came to you and leaned down to your ear.

“Yuna’s being a bitch. If you want a ride, we have to go now.” Jay said, quite loud enough despite talking right in front of your ear thanks to the blaring music filling up everyone’s eardrums right now. You frowned, still wanting to talk to Suhyeon but actually had no choice but to tag along with Jay since he gave Jake and you a ride to the party. Unless you wanted to go around the party and ask for a ride, which would be another effort that should be done.

“Hey, I gotta go… Let’s catch up again?” You said, placing the plastic glass on the table next to you.

“Sure! Just text me?” Suhyeon said, with a signature eye smile of hers. Bidding her goodbye with a hug, you then walked around to collect a friend you babysat for the night and seeing him with his nth shot for the night. He’s drunk, you can tell from the way he stands, slightly swaying left and right.

“C’mon, wild boy. Let’s go.” You said, tugging on his arm, receiving a bit of a resistance from Jake. Whining out, trying to reach out for the bottle and take another shot, but you’re fast enough to catch his other hand and dragged him outside, Jay’s waiting now and by saying his own girlfriend is a bitch, they must’ve caught a huge fight.

“Onneee more, please… (Name), promi—”

“Jake, no. Someone’s about to throw hands now.” You said, proceeding on your steps on dragging him outside the house through the crowd and to where Jay’s car was parked. As you guessed, the couple had waited; Jay outside the car with a half-burnt cigarette, and Yuna on the passenger seat, with an angered out facial expression, her arms folded while glaring outside the window, thankfully not to you and Jake. Jay noticed your presence before blowing out one last smoke, throwing it down the ground before stepping it, shortly entering the car after you and Jake.

The ride was awfully silent; Jay was focused on driving, Yuna not saying a word and still glaring outside the window, heavily drunk out Jake who leans his head to the window, and there’s you, also not saying any word as you let yourself sit still in the silence.

You’re highly supportive of Jay’s choices on your whole friendship with him, and that includes his love life. He hasn’t had that much ex-girlfriends before, but you knew he was deeply in love with his first love on high school; Lily. You weren’t sure of the reason for their relationship to end, since Jay didn’t really disclose it himself, including to his bros during high school, but he looked really remorseful of it. Then now he met Yuna, a girl that’s actually from your major but you weren’t friends with her – just not interested. A demanding girl who is unrealistic meets a guy who can’t get over his past equals a relationship with lots of sharp edges. It’s not only a one-time thing that both of them had a huge fight, as you wouldn’t be really surprised if Jay told you they broke up at the end of the day.

“Thanks for the ride, Jay.” You finally spoke after his car stopped in front of Jake’s house, as you shook Jake’s shoulder slightly to wake him up and get off.

“Yeah,” Jay sighed, resting his back to the seat while slightly looking to the back seat, “You guys get some rest.”

“’kay,” You said, opening the door, “Bye, Yuna.” still being considerate to say goodbye to her, she didn’t answer and still kept her glare outside the window. Jay’s right then, she really is on a bitchy mood.

“Byeeee Jay.” Jake slurred, getting off the car as Jay drove away momentarily.

Then that brings you to the current situation. Sitting down on Jake’s bedroom floor, resting your back against his bed as Jake laid down on his stomach and his cheek pressed against his pillow. Though you wanted to stick around longer, talk to Suhyeon, drink more, and probably get new friends, it was still okay at least to say; having a good time and helped Jake on his journey developing his social skills. You then realized something; your throat undeniably dry and needed something to quench your thirst.

“Hey Jake, I’m thirsty.” You said, slightly turning back to Jake, who already had both his eyes closed, but opened one when you said that you’re thirsty.

“Yeah,” He answered, closing his eyes back, “Help yourself.”

You chuckled, the more you spent time with him, the more you know about him indeed. Who knew the shy guy who gets flustered upon getting asked if you can take his seat next to him during a seminar turns out to love alcohol and is now heavily drunk next to you? Even you would be surprised to know Jake takes alcohol this heavy and well. You then stood, making your way out of Jake’s room to the kitchen downstairs. The lights were on, and it was off when you and Jake walked in, Jake’s parents are probably downstairs now. You have met his parents before when visiting with Jay, and as you guessed from the picture, they were really nice indeed. Meeting them almost midnight should be okay, you just had to be polite and say Jake and you had just got back from a par—

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Your heart dropped to your stomach.

Probably literally.

Something you hoped for did came to reality for a month or so, think it’s time to face the opposite now;

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Jake’s brother, leaning on the kitchen counter. Looking almost the same as the last time you saw him around a month or more ago; messy jet-black hair, navy colored fit shirt that hugged his figure perfectly, grey sweats, leaning on the kitchen counter while munching a bag of chips. Almost the same as he looked the last time you saw him – unless now he’s looking even hotter. If his look last time you saw him can probably bring you to fall on your knees, this works even more. Too embarrassed with the last incident, which he probably remembers, you then put the thought of taking a glass of water to quench your thirst aside and just plan to walk back upstairs, but Jake’s brother had seen you, and that would probably be weird if you just walk away after being seen, you must proceed. Throwing a small smile, you slowly walked towards the kitchen and let your gaze wander around for the cupboard that contains of mugs and glasses. It took you quite a while, and despite knowing well that you’re probably confused, Jake’s brother decided to stay still and proceed to munch on his chips… while having his eyes on you.

“Uh…” you finally spoke up, plucking up the courage to look at him, and got your heartbeat even more intense when your eyes locked with him, “Can I… borrow a mug?” you finally managed out to say.

Jake’s brother didn’t give out a verbal and immediate response, as he still had his cold and sharp gaze on you. Putting one more chip inside of his mouth, he then looked to the cupboard that located right above him. Without him pointing or saying anything, you had to quickly catch that he meant the mugs are right there, in the cupboard above him. Sounding out a thanks, you tiptoed to open the cupboard. He was actually on the way, he can easily tell, judging how close your gap is right now, and how your body constantly brushed to his, but he didn’t seem to budge at all, he’s still there, having his hips rested against the kitchen counter, eating his chips. You seriously don’t mind which cup your hand reaches to right now, all that you want was to quench your thirst with water and escape from the current situation. The cupboard was too tall, and you were still struggling on your tippy toes, reaching for any glass. And the fact that your body kept brushing onto his doesn’t help at all to calm you down as you can feel your body temperature rising. It’s getting hot in here – or is it just him?

“Stay still, let me help you.” he suddenly spoke, placing the chip bag on the kitchen counter. Dusting off the crumbs that sticks on his fingers, his right hand reached upwards towards the mugs and the left one pressed itself on your lower back, pushing you down slowly from your tippy toes. He’s close, dangerously close. Only a few inches away you can probably feel his breath against you. God – you despise the way you think right now, how you thought of him. Your knees are probably weak as your eyes widened in surprise for the sudden physical touch, as you lowered yourself while feeling heat on your cheeks rising up.

He handed out a mug, a cute one; a Disney Tsum-Tsum shaped Minnie Mouse. Muttering out another thanks, you then walked over towards the fridge to fill it up with cold water. You didn’t know what got to you as you found yourself incredibly thirsty, one mug of cold water wasn’t enough to quench the thirst, thus refilling the mug. You also can’t help but notice from the corner of your eyes, he’s now crossing his arms while looking at you attentively. The heat on your cheeks refused to go away.  

“We haven’t properly introduced ourselves.” Jake’s brother broke the silence, which surprised you, almost made you choke on the water. Yeah, despite the tension, you haven’t actually known his name, he probably doesn’t know yours too. You did tell Jake about his brother answering the door, and all Jake said was, “He’s kinda cold, bear with it.”

“I’m Heeseung.” He walked towards you, reaching out his hand as you shook his hand, with a shy smile.

“I’m Jake’s friend.” You said, blurted out randomly. Heeseung raised his eyebrow, still holding your hand, “I know.” he said, with the same flat and lowkey intimidating intonation from the three sentences he had said the moment you stepped your foot to the kitchen.

“Ah… sorry… I’m (name).” You said, slightly chuckled at your own awkwardness while Heeseung then nod his head once he got your name.

Awkwardness fills the atmosphere once more, as Heeseung didn’t seem interested to break the ice and start a new topic of the conversation, but his eyes, straight to yours. Not saying a word, still holding your right hand, eyes locked, temperature rising… He’s so hot. You were quite scared to make a move too, as you just stood there, eyes wandering everywhere and cheeks burning hot. Heeseung slightly smirked, then you noticed he probably realized your cheeks rose red blushing. You cleared your throat, pulling your hand from his hold, flashing out small awkward smiles before making your way towards the sink to put the used mug there. Hope Heeseung didn’t find you rude after pulling your hand swift and fast like that.

“Nice meeting you, Heeseung.” You smiled, walking past him back upstairs to Jake’s room. Well that was awkward, and hot.

Once you’re out of his sight, you started fanning yourself to cool down after the intense encounter with that fine gentleman who you had been thinking about for the past month. He was hot, that was oddly hot, you think, then as you walked closer to Jake’s room, you couldn’t hear anything louder than your own heartbeat.

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Heeseung,

so that’s his name.

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So many questions rang inside of your head. And the question that you think about the most;