For me I feel like life is good. I spend my days with the love of my life even though he gets on my damn nerves sometimes, but I feel like only those that you love and care about can really get to you like that. People who donโt matter to me, in my opinion, have no affect on my emotions since I just donโt give a care for many things at all. Although, with my man, I find myself caring a lot about everything. I know he seems it as annoying or petty, but I donโt think he realizes that last year or in my past I could get over a guy so easily because I never classified any of them asย โmineโ or someone that wanted to stay in my life for the long run. Therefore, if someone I wasย โtalkingโ to someone and I saw a whole bunch of girls pop up on his phone, or I knew he was talking to anย โexโ of his it never bothered me because that is not my business I donโt care what you do with your life. Yet, with this guy itโs so different I really feel like I share my life with him. Itโs like our lives are intertwined and I donโt want to hold him back from doing anything. I guess itโs something I need to work on because when it comes to girls being friends with my boo, well I never really had a boo. The last person I really qualified as mine was Brady and it didnโt matter what female friends he had because he lived in a different state and I didnโt even get to see what he was really up to all the time. Even with that, well we know how that turned out. He ended up having a girlfriend towards the end. I guess thatโs why I trained myself to always have a wall and not really trust what a guy says or does, but this one is different. He truly cares and loves me and all I really want is to really be his GIRLFRIEND, I finally want someone to love me so much inside and out, to the point where they would want to say,ย โyouโre mine.โ I want to feel secure with the person I love. I know I can have that with this man of my dreams now if I can just face my problem of being petty, and insecure. I just need to find a better resolution than pushing the feeling to the side or sayingย โI donโt careโ because I do care, but how can I turn this insecurity into feeling secure. Do I just write down all the things he does for me that shows he loves me to remind myself? Actually, that sounds like a good idea. So Iโm gonna do that to remind myself and Iโm gonna share it here on my personal blog :)