#heavencore

just popping in to tell you that the Lestat song Butterscotch Bitch feels very Hev coded lol

@julyzaas-writing-blog gizugjhiçot"z thank you so much Juli I've been listening to it on repeat since yesterday! This is so fitting, I don't even know what to say!! French Queer Vampire making a song for French Queer Witch? Slaaay!

i search for a purpose in this world, something worth fighting for and the more that i search, i drown in my ocean of sadness because is like a earth distant land where the air is too cold, but gives me comfort so i know i will be on my own thinking with this endless silence that comes from someone who lives in their head, always. he gives me endless joy, but i still can't forget the days i've been laying down on a horrible bed on a horrible city that i was living for violent coercion. i work so hard that i can't barely see my wife but when we do everyday after, we feel peace to be with someone who tries to understand. we do some family programs, we call the nanny and the nanny comes so we can have alone time and do some shit in secret as we did as young when we met. we laugh. i look down the streets and i see a homeless person, then i remember my job so i remember the suffering from humanity. i get silent, she looks at my face with love and i say it's nothing but it is: a unnamed feeling. the desire to disappear. i feel my chest full of love by her empathy but yet, i think about all the bodies that we humans left behind. i think about my son. i think about the people who admire my job, my soul, my personality, our entirely family and i feel grateful, yet i feel like a scratch dropping tears of blood. i'm finally recognized and the parallels feelings are treated, but something about this man gots me thinking who was his opressor. how i would help. all my goals are accomplished. what's next?

i come home, i say thank you to the nanny and i already paid her salary. we barely see her. we are present parents. he smiles with small teeths growing and say something stupid i don't know. i think "cute human" then i smile too because it's the closest from joy i know, since the birth. his eyes looks like a bright daylight and a dark sky full of stars. it's shining and it's big. he has mama iris, but the night is mine. then he calls us on his way. we cuddle him and take him to sleep. then we are alone again. she prepares to sleep and i'm not on a talking mood, so i kiss her cheek and go alone to the garden, so i can see the night sky so shining on a cold weather. i light i cigarette. i inhale the smoke so deeply i feel some pleasure. the warmth gives me joy and my shoulders rest. it's time to talk with papa again, the creator of all things. i look at the sky i ask why the world doesn't never change. why i feel so miserable inside even having everything i wanted: a family, spiritual growth, a good job, a good car, good comfort, good friends. thousand of travelled countries and cities. all that i do is full of luck, everything works well or ends well. i'm loved and i love in return. i shouldn't be selfish and feel the most lucky enby of the world? why does i have this empty thing swalling me whole? yet, i feel miserable and a failure. i go back inside, check my son sleeping like a angel and i smile because he is doing what i'm doing, going far away where there's no sorrow. i check my wife and she is sleeping in our bed, like a angel too. the soft blonde hair resting on the silk bed sheets, so comfortable that i would enjoy the thought of sleeping later right now. i look at the window and the streets are quiet, the sound of silence is growing through the trees and there's a soft breeze. why is it never enough?

Lamb wants pets 🐑

Y'all far too nice with Hev, and she loves your tastes in outfits/clothes/jewelry! She's already shaking Amos like a tree to have this gold jewels set (thanks God he's filthy rich)! Thank you, Tornado. 🖤

Anyway, have a nice weekend ahead! 💕

What a lovely message Rei, thank you so much! I hope I don't bother you too much with my nonsense. I'm more than happy that you took the time to send those pictures to me 'cause they reminded you of Hev! 🥹

Even if you don't know her very well, you've been surprisingly accurate with the aesthetic, she validates your ideas. She'd absolutely slay in these! ⚔️