#heartforgod

“1Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 3The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6But this I say by way of concession, not of command. 7Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.  8But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 

1Corinthians 7:1-9

  I always hear the line, “pray for your future spouse.” I understand the sentiment, I do, pray for the spiritual growth and wellbeing of the person you will one day bind yourself to. Here is my issue with this though, God never promised me a spouse. I’ve yet to find this in scripture at least. 

You have to understand how my mind is working here. I am being told to pray for someone that very well might not exist. This is some crazy stuff here; I am being instructed to pray for something potentially imaginary.

So I have one question: Culture, why do we keep letting you infiltrating Scripture? In 1 Corinthians 7:1-9 scripture actually tells me it’s better not to marry, unless I’m burning with passion/lust, and then I should… wait, what?. Like many single women, I find this scripture confusing (well personally, I find this entire endeavor confusing, but that is beside the point) because my natural state is sexually immoral… I should marry? Or only if I’m leaning toward sexual immorality? Or if I think one day I might be? Paul, my head is now confused. I mean what exactly is burning with passion?

Culture is telling me a husband is my given right, where scripture is telling me it is better not to marry. So as a single woman I’m left with a haunting question. Is it a sin for me to want a husband?

After I posed this question to myself, I knew I was spinning in circles. So I stopped, prayed, and sought the council of some Jesus loving ladies. I received different responses from ladies in all walks of life. Each approached the passage in a bit of a different light. As each response came in, they layered on top of each other…each furthering how I was now reading this scripture. I am always in awe at how God works. Each response came to me at the time I needed so the one after it would have a better foundation to grow on. This was regardless of when the message was sent.

I received a swift kick in the gut with some responses. As I’m someone who is always harping on, “make sure you know the context,” I failed to see it here. For some reason I forgot that Corinth was the epicenter of immoralities at this point in culture. Or that marriage is a picture of Christ and his bride (Ephesians 5:25-27). So many things that make what a sentence is saying come alive on so many different levels, and allow me to digest what I’m reading without as much heartburn.

One friend left me with a parting thought on my first question above. She said:

“The big thing you started off with is praying for a husband. This is based on if you think God may want you to ever marry. Trust me that guy could use your prayers in his life. Doing spiritual warfare in this life on his behalf is necessary! BUT, if God has told you to stay single then no need to intercede on behalf of a husband.”

I really did not know what to say or think about that. Told me to stay single? I had discussed this with another friend before she sent me her response and this was her take:

“I do think she makes a good point on pray over him if you are called to a spouse and don’t worry about it if you’re not. But then again, do you know? Maybe that’s not something God has revealed yet or will reveal for several years. I do think you need to ask yourself these questions above the others: What if he’s not guaranteed? What if you’re called to be single your whole life? Can you handle that and be content in God’s plan, or are you going to rebel and be miserable? The biggest question out of all of this isn’t so much “is it ok to want to marry” as much as “can I be content where God has me”? (And that’s not just a question for you…it’s a question for me as well, because it’s not always easy to be content when your heart is fickle and feeds off the enemy’s lies so easily.)”

In the middle of those two, another friend responded with this short and to the point answer:

“I do not think it’s a sin to desire a husband. To desire a husband more than Christ is sinful (Philippians 3:8, Exodus 20:3). If no one ever desired anyone, singleness would be the norm… Genesis 2:18.

Proverbs 18:22 puts the pressure on the man. So what’s a girl to do?! I don’t know. Pray & seek/search till he gives you an answer, whatever that may be.”

All of these posed questions and statements had me doing self-inventory. I did something for the first time this morning… I prayed for a possible future spouse’s day. I prayed for his spiritual growth, for his eyes to be fixed on Jesus today, for his heart to be open and loving to those around him… for him to be used for God’s glory. It felt weird, with no person to attach these prayers to, but in turn I have faith in that which I do not understand. So this is going to be a part of my day now, until or if he tells me otherwise.

The resounding answer that came back to me on my last question of, “is it a sin to want a husband,” was so simple. If I want him above Christ, then yes, like putting anything else before him, I’m treading in sinful territory (Exodus 20:1-3).

As I was reading this section of scripture the first time, I was thinking, “am I a bad Christian for wanting a husband?” But what I was missing was this... Each of us has different gifts, a different purpose. Christ said, "“For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it (Matthew 19:12 NASB) . "”