#heartbrokenquotes

How to get over heartbreak

It’s never easy when a relationship or marriage comes to an end. We are creatures of habit, we become accustomed to a life with that person, imagine a future with that person. When it comes to an unexpected or even expected end we are crushed. Broken at the idea this can no longer go on, and almost certain we will never find another love like it.

FALSE.

Think back to your first teenage crush, you thought they were just amazing they possessed everything you were looking for, you couldn’t stop thinking about them, you got flutters when they walked by. Now, when you see them they are well… not that. And since then you have grown up, realised there is a better, deeper type of love. You have realised that person wasn’t all they were cracked up to be, and perhaps timing, desperation, insecurities whatever it was led you to that person. You must always remember this during heartbreak, there was one you liked before and there will be another.

What’s meant to be will be

Think about it this way, if that person was meant to be your husband or wife live happily ever after white picket fence, 2.0 family – Allah (swt) would have willed it. He didn’t. Sometimes that is hard to stomach that what we wanted, and what we thought would happen has not. But ultimately you can find comfort in the fact that although you are in pain, although you have experienced a loss – it’s a loss that is part of Allah’s(swt) plan. Perhaps you had to learn certain things from this relationship in order to make you ready for the ‘real one’. Perhaps you had to go through this heartbreak to stop looking for love in the wrong places, who knows. But the hard fact to swallow is, it just wasn’t meant to be.

Something Better

'...and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.' (Surah Baqarah: 216)

Have faith that Allah (swt) is bringing you something better. It may not feel like there could be anybody to top the last person, but all things are capable through Allah (swt). Imagine that this ‘better person’ is going through similar life transitions, and realisations in order for you to both be ready, and meet at the right time – when Allah (swt) has ordained. Don’t despair that there is nobody for you, there is someone for everyone it’s just a matter of when you will meet.

Be objective

This is possibly the hardest step, to look back at the relationship and the person objectively. Put all your feelings aside, was the relationship so perfect? Were there things you were ignoring, or tolerating? Be objective and examine the relationships dynamics, was it really as great as your memories, imagination, and emotions are telling you? And now look at them, did you put them on a pedestal? Did you look at them with rose – tinted glasses? Be honest and brutal, look back at the person and the relationship with hindsight. Did they bring out the best in character? Were you stifled? Be real- and you will see a completely different picture of what you actually had. This can make it easier to let go and move on.

Learn from this

To the Perfect Guy i once loved, You were my ride or die, literally.

I loved you so deeply, with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my ego & my pride. I am blindly in love with you.

Thank you for making me realize that i can love someone this much.

Thank you for making me realize that i can choose someone i love over my pride & ego.

Thank you for making me realize that i can accept someone’s flaws unconditionally.

Thank you for making me realize i can do anything to make someone happy. Thank you for making me realize that i can fight this much for someone i love so dearly.

Thank you for showering me with all your love. Thank you for always making me feel cared for. Thank you for making me feel like i’m the most precious thing you’ve ever had. Thank you for always being so kind to me all the time. Thank you for always making me your number one priority even above yourself. Thank you for always believing in my potential. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for always trying to make me happy. Thank you for always giving me your 100% effort.

Thank you for all the beautiful memories.

Thank you for always thinking about my needs.

Thank you for always trying to make everything perfect for me.

And to the other side of you,

To the Narcissist I once loved,

You take control over all things in my life, but you meant no harm you said. You push me to the breaking point over & over again, and call me crazy for crying, shouting, screaming for being horrifically emotionally abused, but you meant no harm you said. You accuses me of emotions that you are intentionally provoking, but you meant no harm you said. You lowered my self esteem by always picking my flaws that i wasn’t even aware of in the first place, but you meant no harm you said. You act like you’re going to punch me and get offended that i am scared that you really are going to punch me one day, then you threatened me to break up because i’m scared for my well being, but you meant no harm you said. You asked me to do things for you because you are making my mistakes as leverage, but you meant no harm you said. You make endless demands and force me to obey everything you said, but you meant no harm you said. You call me filthy names and told me that’s the truth, but you meant no harm you said. You almost made me lose my sanity by always accusing me for something i repeatedly said i didn’t do, but you meant no harm you said. You made me stressed and depressed, i feel my body is going to burst, almost fainted, and cold shiver down my spine, but you meant no harm you said. You made me believe that the problem isn’t the emotional abuse itself, but instead my reactions to the abuse, but you meant no harm you said. You made me choose between you and my job, then threatened to break up with me if i keep my job, but you meant no harm you said. You force me to take oath in the name of our God for every little thing i do and did, but you meant no harm you said. You made me kneel and apologize to you for something so insignificant, but you meant no harm you said. You robbed me off my freedom of self, but you meant no harm you said. You made me believe that every problem in your life is because of me, but you meant no harm you said. You don’t allow me to expressed what made me upset and instead of apologizing you find a way to make me feel bad about it, but you meant no harm you said. You made me believe that no one will ever love me because i’m so unlovable and have a twisted mind, but you meant no harm you said. You frequently comment about what i’m wearing and how i look until i become obsessed with my appearance, but you meant no harm you said. You gave me the silent treatment so that i’ll be miserable waiting for you to give me attention, but you meant no harm you said. You made me risk my own welfare, but you meant no harm you said. You made me believe that it is abusive of me to object to you behaving abusively towards me, but you meant no harm you said. You brainwash me into believing that my life would be hell without you, but you meant no harm you said. You train me to put you on a pedestal and me at your feet, but you meant no harm you said.

But I am not the person I once was.

You destroyed me over and over again, but i keep building myself back up into someone you will never have the honor of getting to know.